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Can I sleep-train my 3-year-old?

4 replies

delilahsq · 03/05/2024 09:16

My daughter is 3 and a half and, with the exception of about six months when she was a baby, has always slept badly. She wakes up one to five times a night on really bad nights.

We don't really know what the issue is. It could be behavioural - she is extremely strong willed and moody at times - but then again I think this is most toddlers! Nothing has been investigated or diagnosed but I do have adhd.

She wakes frequently from nightmares and peeing in her nappy. She's potty trained in the day but wakes up every time she does a pee. We've tried everything to help this but nothing seems to work.

Her breathing is laboured at night and she breathes through her mouth so we went to the doctor thinking it could be an adenoid problem, they gave us steroid-based nose spray which really helped but now there seems to be a link between the spray and night terrors... it's helped one problem and created another, has anyone else had this?

The other big thing is that her baby brother was born in November and she's definitely regressed a lot, it seems to be particularly bad now as she's been unwell. So, there are a lot of factors at play...

Really don't know what to do at this point, our GP has been pretty unhelpful so I think we need to go private with an ENT specialist.

My husband is sleeping in the room next to her as I'm up with the baby, so he's bearing the brunt of her night wakes. He's completely exhausted as is she. She's screaming for me a lot but I can't always come because of the baby. She often wants my husband to come into bed with her, or tries to get into his bed. Last night she took her nappy off and wet the bed. It's a total mess!

Can we sleep train her? Considering leaving her to cry like we did when she was a baby as pretty desperate at this point. Any advice very welcome!

Thank you.

OP posts:
Kosenrufugirl · 03/05/2024 09:26

My take on it she thinks her brother is having preferential treatment and this is unfair. So she is acting out. The cold weather doesn't help with breathing issues. Is there any way she could sleep with you for a while? And you move her and baby into a separate bedroom when your baby is 6 months old? You will explain to her that you are being fair to both. I think it might work. I wouldn't sleep-train her now, not with the issues you are describing.

delilahsq · 03/05/2024 12:55

Thanks so much. The problem is her sleep has been an issue since way before her brother arrived... so I think it goes deeper sadly. But perhaps we should try this and see what happens, just worry she will then get used to co- sleeping which may create yet more issues.

OP posts:
Kosenrufugirl · 03/05/2024 15:37

delilahsq · 03/05/2024 12:55

Thanks so much. The problem is her sleep has been an issue since way before her brother arrived... so I think it goes deeper sadly. But perhaps we should try this and see what happens, just worry she will then get used to co- sleeping which may create yet more issues.

My first one was a dreadful sleeper I empathise. And I believe you when you say it's a long running issue. It's actually very common for first children. I just feel you will have a better chance of success once you can safely move the baby out into a separate bedroom (it's recommended they sleep in the same room as the parents for 6 months to minimise the risk of cot death). Better weather should also help with bugs and breathing issues. Have you contacted the health visitor to advice?

Coastallife36385 · 03/05/2024 16:40

A friend’s child struggled with sleep until starting school. Once at school, she was so tired she slept through the night.

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