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Baby naps great on DH but not on me!

10 replies

LookingMobile · 29/04/2024 09:06

I have a 4 month old who only contact naps, in arms (doesn't like the carrier unfortunately). He will sleep for hours in DH's arms but in mine at most 30-40 minutes. He's EBF so I assume my milk smell is the cause, has anyone had this issue and resolved it? Any tips on ending contact naps too? I've tried the waiting to transfer, heating the space, white noise etc but nothing has worked so far and I'm at my wit's end :(

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Brightandbreezey · 29/04/2024 14:10

Yeah it’s the milk! As your baby grows up and needs less milk and/or starts solids this will reduce naturally. I used to just hold my DD and when she stirred on me I’d put my nipple back on her mouth and she’d suckle back to sleep again!
I don’t have a lot of tips for not contact napping as my LO (and I) love them! She is now 14 months and I usually BF feed her lying down on the bed (floor bed) and then roll away and leave her napping with the monitor on.

beanii · 02/05/2024 14:30

Try swaddling and it won't hurt him to cry a bit, it'll take a bit of getting used to now.

Best to put him down awake so he learns to self settle.

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 02/05/2024 14:39

Please ignore any advice saying you need to let them cry and self settle - this is outdated advice as babies DO NOT SELF SETTLE, especially by letting them cry.

I found learning about biologically normal infant behaviour and sleep helped me tremendously, we get told a lot of misinformation as parents. They biologically need us.

Sarah Ockwell-Smith, Lyndsey Hookway, Nurture Neuroscience and The Beyond Sleep Training Project Group are great resources for evidence based support.

Brightandbreezey · 02/05/2024 19:21

Really great resources @TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon and completely agree!

OhDeer24 · 03/05/2024 14:19

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 02/05/2024 14:39

Please ignore any advice saying you need to let them cry and self settle - this is outdated advice as babies DO NOT SELF SETTLE, especially by letting them cry.

I found learning about biologically normal infant behaviour and sleep helped me tremendously, we get told a lot of misinformation as parents. They biologically need us.

Sarah Ockwell-Smith, Lyndsey Hookway, Nurture Neuroscience and The Beyond Sleep Training Project Group are great resources for evidence based support.

I think I’m in love with you.

OhDeer24 · 03/05/2024 14:29

My daughter went through this too for a couple of weeks where she seemed restless on me, it was definitely the boob milk. It’s their comfort. If you can, have your boob out so that baby can comfort themselves back off to sleep with it when needed if you need them to have a longer nap. Just remember - everything is a phase. Baby will grow out of it, and over time it all gets easier. My little girl is 9 months and she’s been contact napping since she was born. But at around 6 months I started to be able to feed her to sleep, and then very slowly transfer her to a sleep space, or roll away if we were in bed.
At night she co-sleeps and sleeps through the night (other than a couple of little wake ups for boob in the evening while I’m downstairs).
I know the contact napping seems like it will never end, but please don’t worry or beat yourself up if you can’t find a way out of it right now. Although it’s hard when you have 39 million other things to be doing, just take the moment to enjoy the little bit of rest. There’s plenty of time for solo naps and if baby isn’t playing ball with it right now, then just roll with it. My parenting journey got a lot easier when I just started rolling with the phases.
You’ve got this!

Peonies12 · 03/05/2024 14:31

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 02/05/2024 14:39

Please ignore any advice saying you need to let them cry and self settle - this is outdated advice as babies DO NOT SELF SETTLE, especially by letting them cry.

I found learning about biologically normal infant behaviour and sleep helped me tremendously, we get told a lot of misinformation as parents. They biologically need us.

Sarah Ockwell-Smith, Lyndsey Hookway, Nurture Neuroscience and The Beyond Sleep Training Project Group are great resources for evidence based support.

It’s not outdated. You’re doing a favour teaching a baby to sleep independently. There is no evidence of any harmful effects.

Elaina87 · 04/05/2024 10:28

I'm still contact napping at 12 months old with my second! Only other place she will nap is in the buggy. My eldest was the same until she always maybe 18 months and started to nap in her cot then. They just want to be close to you and 4 months is a very tricky time for sleep. As for the long naps on Dad, very normal and was the same for us this time. I think you're right in that they wake up to feed on us.

Elaina87 · 04/05/2024 10:30

Peonies12 · 03/05/2024 14:31

It’s not outdated. You’re doing a favour teaching a baby to sleep independently. There is no evidence of any harmful effects.

You're not doing them a favour at all. They learn in their own time, unless they are forced. And there is plenty of research and evidence that it can be harmful not to respond to your baby's needs.

Elaina87 · 04/05/2024 10:46

beanii · 02/05/2024 14:30

Try swaddling and it won't hurt him to cry a bit, it'll take a bit of getting used to now.

Best to put him down awake so he learns to self settle.

He's too old to be swaddled now if he hasn't been before, it's dangerous to start doing it at this age so please don't. Plus he might be starting to roll.

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