7 year old who still has separation anxiety & never sleeps properly PLEASE ADVISE

[Marshmellow]

My daughter has never been a good sleeper but i'm really beginning to get worried. To cut a long story short she gets extremely anxious at bedtime, finds it terribly difficult to fall asleep and is normally up two or three times in the night. She says that she just wants to be with mummy and not on her own. I'm finding it so upsetting to see her getting so upset. She seems to lie in bed anxiously looking round the room for things, i.e. the tiniest of spider or a shadow etc, she never seems relaxed to go to sleep. We've tried keeping her up later but then she's just shattered in the morning.
Please help me to help her??!!!

Anyone else going through this?????

Reminds me of myself when I was her age! Does she have nightmares, or worse, night terrors? I used to have night terrors every night (not that night terrors had been invented back then) and it made me anxious at bed time.

I suggest you develop a game where both of you open the wardrobe, check under the bed etc to make sure there's nothing lurking, then sing a song or have a story and tell her she can go to sleep safely, and that you'll be back to check in 10 min.

I still get the odd night terror (stoopid things!). It's worth bearing in mind that they are WORSE if I am tired. Thinking about you LO, maybe keeping her up later isn't the solution. Also, being over-tired will more than likely make her even clingier.

Anyway, enough rambling from me, I've never had a 7 YO so I may not be the foremost expert in the world. No doubt someone will come along who knows more than me!

Have you tried letting her listen to audio books when you leave her to sleep?
Long walk, then long steamy baths before bed?
And does she have a nightlight?
Dreamcatcher?
Special cuddly toy?

Used all these methods with our nervy, afraid-of-the-dark, scared-of-every-slight-noise child.

I used to be like this too.........

I used to lie in bed super-still trying to convince myself that any burgular would think I was just a doll in the bed (OK, looking back, I realise just how weird this was)

Leaving a light on really helped me, as did listening to something (like a radio or something - For me, it couldn't be something like a tape, it had to be real people in real time, IYSWIM)

Also, not sending her to bed on her own ( I always had to go to bed alone, and my 'terror' started before I got into bed) My sister used to tell me to think nice thoughts, but that never worked for me....

Taking my mind off it did......

BTW, I now sleep on my own most nights, but do so with the dog on the bed, blinds open (I never close bedroom curtains and am lucky not to be overlooked!) and with the radio on........

Hope that helps...

(My DSDs are older now... The elder girl likes to sleep with her door shut and lights off, whereas the little one needs her door open and lights on.... I think it's important to see what your DD would like and if she can pin point any thing that makes her scared..........)