How to get baby to sleep in her cot?

[chickpea1982]

I have a 7.5 month old who doesn't want to sleep in her cot. Currently she naps in her pram (or car seat if we are out), and co-sleeps with me in her bed from her first night waking (around 12.30 - 2 a.m.). It works ok most of the time, but I'd like to get her to sleep in her cot, for a number of reasons. First, she's getting more mobile, and soon it won't be safe to just leave her in her pram to sleep without strapping her in. Second, my husband has been sleeping in the spare room since the baby was born as he's worried about rolling over on her when co-sleeping, and (understandably) he wants to come sleep in his own bed again. Third, I'm about to go back to work so that my husband can take over with shared parental leave for a few months, and it would really help to make it easier for him to get her down for her naps. At the moment she is fed to sleep most of the time, and that isn't really going to be an option for him! She's breastfed at the moment, with solids a few times a day.

When we try putting her in her cot she just cries, even when put down asleep she wakes up almost immediately, sees where she is, and then cries. I'm ok with a bit of "constructive" grumbling/crying, if it leads to a settled baby, but I just can't bear her crying for very long, or screaming her head off. Sometimes she's ok if I'm there next to her, but cries as soon as I leave the room. I've tried sitting by her cot with my hand on her tummy saying "shh", but it didn't work - more crying. Mind you, I've only done it once recently so maybe I need to keep it up? I gave up yesterday and just put her down in her pram again.

Any suggestions?

The brutal answer is you make sure she is ok and you put her in the cot and leave the room. she will cry maybe for half an hour, but the next night will be less and so on. DS used to sit next to the cot for an hour or two till his DD went to sleep. It depends on how you want to spend your evenings.

The brutal answer is you make sure she is ok and you put her in the cot and leave the room. she will cry maybe for half an hour, but the next night will be less and so on. DS used to sit next to the cot for an hour or two till his DD went to sleep. It depends on how you want to spend your evenings.

Thanks for your reply. I suppose I was hoping for a less brutal answer! My husband is very much of the same opinion as you, but I just find it unbearable when she screams.

You could try putting her in her cot for a few minutes each day with toys and play with her for a bit so she gets used to being in there and sees it as a nice place. In the end though it does come down to making sure she's really tired and putting her down Keep popping back to reassure till she gives in its horrible but hopefully not for too long

You are in charge, not your child. Just put her into the cot and leave her to cry, she will stop. By giving into her, she will never learn. You say your husband is already in the spare room, that's not going to end well, you are letting your child take over....lt will be tough, it is very difficult to hear your baby get so upset, but it's only for attention, to get her own way. You will rue the day if you let this continue....l promise you, tough it out then you will all feel so much happier...good luck, l wish you well

I'm devastated for the babies of those PPs saying leave them to cry! 😥 That is brutal. Don't do this. Baby wants comfort to sleep in the cot and by leaving them to cry you're refusing them that comfort. They will learn that you won't help them. They'll learn you aren't coming to help and they'll learn to give up asking. Babies are too young to regulate themselves which is what is being expected when they're left to cry. Awful practice psychologically! I appreciate this is a personal preference and style of parenting that others may feel happy with, it's just cruel IMO.

Feed to sleep, plonk carefully in cot. If baby stirs or wakes, try to work out why. Is baby too cold? Hungry Overtired? Undertired? Uncomfy? Teething? Too bright? Too breezy? Too noisy? You plonked too soon and baby wasn't properly asleep? Too soon after eating and uncomfy tummy? Etc. Troubleshoot. Keep a consistent routine around naps and align it with bedtime routine too if possible so they are essentially the same. Story, clean nappy, BF/milk and sleep or whatever. It sounds like your little one likes motion to help them sleep. Have you tried a gentle bum/tummy wobble once they're in the cot instead of hand on back? Or a little cuddle and a rock in a rocking chair (or while you're standing up in your arms)?

My two DC are both BF. We never sleep trained. Dad can settle them both by himself for naps and bedtime too without me there, same as nursery can too. It is achievable without tears. The youngest is 14m now and comes into our bed for a short co-sleep BF lying down and then gets put into cot. I do this for naps and night sleeps. I have to time the transfer to cot so It isn't around 30-40mins in or near the end of the sleep cycle though otherwise baby will wake again and be grumpy with me. It will just take a little readjusting.

Good luck 🤞

We used shush Pat method which is staying with the baby, mine often slept better on their side, in a sleeping bag and you place one hand gently on shoulder and with the other pat their hip/ bottom and make a shush sound. Important you put them in when their sleepy but not asleep so they don’t get a shock when they wake up! Stay with them when they cry and they should go off. If you google it hopefully there will be some timing ideas … I think if they’re screeching for ages you pick them up and then place back down. Good luck. Really good idea to get them to feel secure sleeping in their own bed rather than yours for the long term.

Please don't leave your baby to cry. I really don't see why you would.

You could try warming the cot with a hot water bottle (which you obviously remove before putting her in). Or wearing the cot fitted sheet next to your skin for a bit so the cot smells like you.

You can experiment with putting her down at different time intervals after she has fallen asleep.

I'm not following re the pram. Why would she need unstrapping to go to sleep in it? Also I would add you don't need to change the way your baby goes to sleep with you because of someone else needing to do it - babies can and will fall asleep in different ways for different people.

When I was preparing to move mine to their big cot in their own room I started by doing nappy changes in that room and popped them into the cot for a minute or two with a couple of toys why I tidied up and generally mooched about the room for a bit.

They were a couple of months older, but I found putting my children down ready for bed, but awake worked. We'd then keep an eye on the monitor from outside the room and ignore grizzles and angry cries, and go in every time they stood up (to lie them back down) or if they started sounding upset (to comfort, settle, and lie back down). Our monitor allowed us to speak through it, so we would do that to tell them to lie down and close their eyes and go to sleep as the first thing before going into the room, we would then go in a minute or so later if that didn't work. It took a little while, but after a week or two they began to get into the habit of getting to sleep in the cot by themselves.