2yr old awake for hours in the night-- SEND HELPD

[TheCaretakerNadine]

Hi

I am in desperate need of help, trying to sort my toddler's shoddy sleep.

Background:
We have a 2yr old (turned 2 last month) who has his own room, with double floor bed. Also have a 3 month old who sleeps in bedside crib in our bedroom.

Toddler wakes at 8am, naps 1300-1430, dinner at 1800, start bedtime at 1945 ish and asleep by 2030

Problem:
Toddler is taking upto 1.5hrs to fall asleep recently and wakes around midnight and can take upto 2 hours to fall asleep again. He stsrts chatting and blabbering. We tend to lie next to him when this happens. I used to cap his nap to 1hr15mins but made no difference. Hubby and I spend the night yoyo-ing between the rooms. Meanwhile, newborn sleeps well.

Solutions:

• remove nap entirely: not keen on this as he has no issues napping. I could try capping again maybe?

• sleep training: gradual retreat or interval controlled crying, not sure if he's too old for these now. Before baby came along, one of us would end up cosleeping with toddler during nightwakes and then he'd fall asleep. But now its different. And we feel we need to establish boundaries so are ok with some crying.

Any other ideas?
Weve always had a regimented bedtime routine: milk,downstairs, teeth, pjs, nappy, inhaler, bedtime story, lights out and cuddles. Naps are pretty easy as after cuddles, we leave him and he falls asleep alone. SO HE HAS THEN POTENTIAL to sleep unaided

Id love to know what worked for yall. Im concerned that when the 4 month sleep regression hits us with the newborn, we really will be in trouble.

I have read on here that sometimes it can be when they are about to hit another milestone or more speech. Maybe that's why he's so alert and babbling away?

My ds is non verbal so it's not the reason why he wakes at this time, he's usually cold, nappy wedgie or needs a drink and if I'm not there to settle him immediately (we co sleep) he has a full wake window to get through before he goes back down. Can sometimes be awake from midnight-4:30am!

How long did you try capping the nap for? It can take a week to see the difference.

Once night sleep was disturbed, hours on end, I dropped the nap. It's hard for the first few days to keep them going but worth it so everyone gets decent sleep

About 1 month of capping to 1hr 15 mins. Made no difference.

I thought the nap was dropped when they were getting difficult to go to sleep. My LO sleeps easily for the nap.

Honestly the only thing I'd do in this case is cut the nap. Mine isn't a great sleeper but so much worse when she naps in the day. Some kids need a really significant sleep deficit before they can go back to sleep easily if waking in the night. Worked for us. She still wakes (naturally) but she'll go back down till at least 5am.

Knacker him out! Lots of running/ climbing/ rough play before bed. Cap the nap for sure! Bring nap forward if possible too to make final wake window longer

Mine is 2 next month and has had a wobbly couple of months with sleep, as have most other babies in my antenatal group, so sounds like an age related regression / development. We've had bedtime battles, multiple waukes very upset, split nights that last 3 hours... it's been a shitshow. But for about a week now he's been sleeping through again and going to bed in a good mood (even if it takes a while).

The nap looks a bit long though, I now cap mine (on average) at about 45 minutes if he doesn't wake on his own and ideally have him awake by 12 noon. If he naps early I let him have longer, if later in the day then cap it shorter, so for example yesterday he fell asleep in the car at 9.50am so I let him sleep an hour. On Thursday he only went down at 3.15pm and I woke him after 15 minutes. If he naps at his "usual" time of around 11am then I start waking him after 45 minutes. He usually wakes up around 6am though (on his own, I've never known a day I've had to wake him!) and goes to bed 7-7.30 so adjust these times to your schedule for reference.

We had similar with DS when he was around 2 and we had to drop the nap. He was cranky for a while but now he's fine and sleeps much better

*About 1 month of capping to 1hr 15 mins. Made no difference.

I thought the nap was dropped when they were getting difficult to go to sleep. My LO sleeps easily for the nap.*

When it affects night time sleep