6 MO doesn’t sleep through!

[Raveceleste]

Hi all,
New to MN so please be gentle.
My little girl is 6 months and still to this day she hasn’t slept through the night once. I’ve got her bed time routine down to a T. It’s probably not
perfect or how it “should be” but it works for us. The problem is how she wakes up in the night. I honestly think she’s in some form of discomfort, almost like trapped wind I think. I’ve tried the typical, gripe water, infacol and even tried her with comfort milk but found that just made her sick. I’ve had her next to me crib inclined slightly. Nothing helps her sleep through - it’s getting to the point where I’m beyond exhausted and I’m falling asleep with her in my arms and almost dropping her (I’m laid in bed still)
when she wakes it’s pretty much like clock
work as well as it’s roughly the same time every night.
I usually put her on my breast and she tends to go back to sleep - last night I tried to settle her without the breast and she got that worked up and started screaming I had to go downstairs with her. Dad does not deal well with being woken up and he suffers with SADs so he got snappy as well.

I’ve contacted my HV but can take up to 5 days for them to get back in touch with me so thought I’d come on here for some real life help.

Don’t know if it helps to know she also fights when I try to get her to nap in the day - I honestly have to seriously gig, cuddle her and even sing sometimes.

Does anyone have any suggestions, tips, questions? I’m honestly at my whits end!!! 😥

Have you considered safe co-sleeping? Dd was exactly like this and I drove myself mad trying to fix it ended up co-sleeping out of pure desperation (and not safely until I’d researched - do NOT recommend!) and it’s saved us.

I then did gentle sleep training at 12 months when moving her to her cot and she’s slept through ever since, bar sickness, and she’s now 7.

How does she go to sleep? Independently or do you have do certain things ie pat, rock stroke? You find that whatever makes her fall asleep she will need each time she wakes up.

This is normal for most 6 month olds. Doesn’t warrant an ! on your title.
You are lucky she is only waking up for one night time feed.

I doubt she needs of the stuff you’ve been giving her. Children wake up - we as a society have this massively unrealistic expectation that kids sleep or should sleep solidly - and then drive ourselves crazy trying to “fix” it. I did this with my first, learnt not to bother after a while, whenever she woke in night we just put her in bed with us and she slept rest of night till morning. When she got old enough to explain things too we got her in her own bed. My 3 year old wakes up without fail every night it’s annoying as anything, but again he just comes in w it us or if it’s earlier on and we still awake and he wants our bed he just goes in and once he’s back asleep me and husband go downstairs and carry on with our evening. Kids don’t sleep through unless they’re “trained” to early doors. My daughter has slept form 7-7 from age 3.5 years and so I’m waiting it out now for my son to turn this corner too.

in short, you will drive yourself crazy if you don’t just “go with it”

My 2.5 yo has just slept through for the first time, 8.30pm-5.45am. Once, since back to 1 or 2 wakes.

The idea that a 6mo should sleep through is not realistic, although some do, many don't.

Check out Lyndsey Hookway on Instagram and Fox and the moon sleep for holistic sleep advice.

Some will advise you sleep training, we tried at 8 months, it didn't work for us and made many things worse. We have managed with co-sleeping after the first or second cot wake.

It is normal for infants and children to be supported to sleep, "self-soothing" is developmental but the idea is perpetuated by an unregulated industry of sleep experts telling you its essential.

Sorry but you've got wildly unrealistic expectations. Most 6 month olds don't sleep through. My first slept through at 9 months but my second didn't start sleeping through reliably until she was 2! Take the pressure off yourself and her- she's a baby and will still need to be fed and need comfort at night.

In addition to trying to get her to sleep in day - put her in the car and drive and she’ll soon drop off. Or put her in pram and walk. Shortens the whole saga.

I think waking up once for a feed at 6 months is fine. How long is she up for when she wakes?
I think we have to remember as adults we don't even "sleep through" most of us wake up for a wee or to turn over or to get a drink and because we are adults we can easily go back to sleep. Developmentally babies can't always do this and need our help.
My DC2 is almost 5 months and wakes twice to feed which is fine and what she needs right now, society and these perfect insta mums put pressure on us to get babies to sleep a solid 12 hours which is completely unrealistic.

My 27 month old has slept through the night twice; both in the last month. He woke 5 - 6 times a night until he was 25 months old.

Waking once at 6 months is much, much better than average; and really good going. It’ll be more about adjusting your expectations than improving her sleep at this stage.

I’d second cosleeping if you’re struggling. It can work really well.

My almost 4 yo has never slept through in her entire life! I'm 43 and on my knees!
At 6 months it's entirely normal x

Most 6 month old babies wake more often than this and continue to do so for several years.

Sorry it’s not what you want to hear but this is very VERY normal.

I think you need to change your expectations, I know it’s easier said than done but I have found sleep deprivation a million times easier to deal with the second time around because each night I’ve gone to bed expecting to be woken several times and knowing that I am going to still be exhausted the next day (my first was a bad sleeper, my second is worse! But at 12 months now I’m still not expecting him to sleep through at it helps)

Personally sleep training isn’t for me but it works for others so you could look into that.

But my biggest part of advice would be to look at what you can do to make your lives easier during this phase (and it is a phase, it will pass I promise). Ready meals, batch cooking, rest when you can even if you can’t sleep, car naps, shifts with your DP. Basically you just have to do whatever you can to survive in the best way you can.

Also what happens if you feed her to sleep in the day? I’d try that to get the naps in.

Not sleeping through the night at 6 months is absolutely normal. Mine were 3.5 years, 15 months and 12 months respectively before they slept through the night. I also did everything right, even paid a sleep consultant.

It's not normal for a 6 month old to sleep through the night, and anyone who tells you it is, is barmy!!

My so finally slept through consistently when he was 18 months old.

If she hasn't slept through the night by the time she's 5 then please come back and moan. 6 months is completely normal to wake! Hope you can rest/sleep when she does.

Even at 4 my son usually "half wakes" at least once. Until this week (trying to nail it in school holidays when we can afford broken sleep) we have coslept as then he just cuddled in and drifted straight back to sleep.

I was/am very much in the camp of "whatever gets us most sleep". I don't/won't mind if he joins me in the middle of the night for as long as he wants to, Although the last couple he's only needed me to pop in and tell him I'm there to settle straight back off.

Perhaps I have misread OPs post but I cannot see where she has said DD only wakes up once?

OP, try and not let posts about children who didn’t sleep a wink until they were 4 worry you. My DD slept through from 9 weeks, I thought I’d had a miracle baby (ha ha ha) then it all went tits up at 4 months and it was pretty much just survival until she was closer to a year and we sleep trained her, now she sleeps 7-7.

I was super anxious about safe sleeping and wouldn’t personally recommend co-sleeping with such a little one. I’d be having a word with DH and taking turns doing shifts.

Have you got the Wonder Weeks app? I found it helped my sanity in those early days!

@Angeldelight50
”when she wakes it’s pretty much like clock
work as well as it’s roughly the same time every night.
I usually put her on my breast and she tends to go back to sleep”

I presumed if it was more than once then “same time” would have been “same times” plural.

Completely normal. I have a 12 month old DS and he's only 'slept through' a handful of times. However I did read that sleeping through can be counted as 8 hours, not necessarily 12. Keep going with the routine, especially with nap times. I continued to feed back to sleep, it was the quickest, easiest and quietest solution for me, plus I could read a book on my phone at the same time!

I also always sing to my baby as he goes to sleep!

If she is waking at the same time every night wanting a feed, could you slowly wean her off (a few ways to do this)?
However if you think she is suckling for comfort then as other PPs say it is about what she is used to as her way of getting to and staying asleep, so need to look at sleep associations

She always 100% ends up on me in bed. I’m not sure if it’s safe co sleeping but she’s always on top of me some how from just pure exhaustion.
I was wanting to get her in her own room pretty soon but can’t see it happening, plus she’s growing out of her next to me cot!

Bless you, it does grind my gears a little when society pushes the belief that parents can cope with sleep deprivation any more just because they have children. My experience, sleep “training” worked wonders, appreciate many will eye roll and say otherwise, but personally speaking it’s worth trying different methods rather than accepting that that’s just “how it is”. Firstly you could look at how your LO’s naps are during the day, Huckleberry online is a good guide for this. I used the method in the book The Sensational Baby Sleep Plan which completely transformed things and led to having a very happy baby, not a constantly cranky overtired baby.
With the discomfort, it may be worth looking into whether the milk is causing it. CMPA is always on my radar, (evident from my only posts on MN!) but it’s worth considering if she fits into this category. I also found having a good feeding routine helped with digestive comfort way more than when I responsively fed.

I hope things improve for you. Having sleep deprivation can really be awful, but it can get better. ❤️

she hasn’t fallen asleep independently for a good 2-3 months. I have to rock her, sing or hum, pat her bum, the usual. I tried the self settle approach today and she was having none of it.