6 month old only contact sleeps day and night

[WiseRubyRobin]

As per the title of my post my DD will only contact sleep day and night. The most we can get her to do in her crib is 2 hours at the start of the night if we are lucky. She will not even co sleep - as soon as she’s laid flat on any surface she wakes and screams. Suffered from reflux as a younger baby and still spits up from time to time but is also a bottle refuser so very hard to get any medication down her to help with the reflux. Also has skin allergies / itching. Anyone else had anything like this? I return to work in 2 weeks and she is going to nursery…feels like we are in a living nightmare.

The way you get a baby to sleep in a cot is to continue to put them in a cot. Over time they learn to sleep. It's nicer for your DC to sleep with skin contact. By allowing this you have made a rod for your own back.

What a horrible post and a load of bollocks.

I’m in the same boat at 4 months Op, so i get it. My baby also has reflux and is incredibly bunged up.

It’s not a case of it being ‘nicer’ for them to sleep on us, it’s a case of them having been in a lot of discomfort lying flat.

@MariaVT65
I agreed thinking that's aweful saying a mums made a rod for her own back, but no before realising your about to go back to work, that's so hard, i don't think anyone has relevant advice

@WiseRubyRobin please please don't listen to anyone who says you have made a rod for your own back!! You've had a tough time with reflux & have supported your baby through it - that can never be the wrong thing to do!

Babies are hard wired to be close to their mum so it's completely normal behaviour to contact nap even aside from the reflux, also I believe some babies cannot / will not be put down. My DD was like this & it was tough, my 5 month old DS was a great sleeper up until a little while ago & now he's in the middle of a sleep regression I cant get him to sleep in his cot. My point is I havent done anything differently with either baby, it's just how they are.

Is it worth speaking to GP / HV for some anti reflux medication & trying co-sleeping again to get you some rest? send hugs & solidarity its so tough at times. I try to remember I'll never look back & regret all the contact naps

Do you have a sling you could lend to the nursery? I'm thinking that your baby might struggle to sleep in a cot there, but might settle if a staff member wore the baby? (i've seen it done).

Very naive reply to from someone who has likely never had a child that suffered from reflux. DD isn't wanting to co sleep so it's not she doesn't want to be in a cot away from mum, she is clearly uncomfortable lying on her back

It's really common and if dd isn't even happy to co-sleep then she probably does still have reflux, probably silent, poor thing

Can you use the pram? My ds was the same and he still has reflux problems at 2.5. I was able to start introducing the pram for all naps with bassinet raised then with medication gradually he started to co-sleep at night if my arm was under his head. Not the comfiest but much better than endless nights trying to settle him. The medication did take a couple of weeks to work properly and lots of fish face squashing to get it in him which wasn't nice.
Have they given gavascon or omeprazole?

This was my first ever post on mumsnet and to get a comment like this was just soul destroying. I think you needed to come and try and lay my refluxy and distressed baby flat and see how well you got on?

@scaredofff they’ve given us both gaviscon and omneprazole but she cries so much trying to get them in her it almost defeats the point as she’s sucked in so much air. As a FTM I just feel like I’ve done it all wrong

Those who say “you have made a rod for your own back” when it comes to babies who don’t sleep well, won’t go down, are clingy, etc are almost always the ones who had a baby who did all those things no bother. I’ve got a toddler and a baby. With the baby I have had no choice but to put him down more than I did with toddler when he was a baby, and he’s a worse sleeper and only ever cat naps during the day because of me putting him down.

On the other hand, I have friends whose babies slept through by the time they were 2 months old!

Many people don’t appreciate that babies have their own temperament and preferences than it being the parenting. So ignore anyone who blames you!

Has your baby always been like this or is a phase? When we’ve had these moments, I have to wait until DS is in a deep sleep before I put him down. I use the floppy arm test. I lift it up and drop it - if there’s no resistance at all, he’s most likely in a deep sleep and that’s when I can finally put him down. Does take around 20-30 mins.

@ParsonsPont thank you for reassuring me. She’s always been a challenge with sleep. Most she ever did in one block was 4 hours and that was months ago. Even with waiting til she is in a deep sleep then transferring her she doesn’t stay asleep anymore. I keep thinking I’ve just done it all wrong with her. I should say she is a happy, bright baby by day who is meeting all her milestones. Just the sleeping independently and bottle refusal that are so hard

You poor thing
I was just wondering if you had started weaning yet? I don't have personal experience but our next door neighbour's DD had horrendous reflux and could not lie flat / would not accept meds - once she went on solids things significantly improved both in relation to comfort and sleep. It's her fourth kid too so not through lack of experience!
Things are so very hard but I do hope they improve once DD goes to nursery / you go back to work.

Ignore the ridiculous rod for your own back comments. You do what you need to do to get through the days and very tough nights. You've held your DD every night on basically no rest yourself from the sounds of it - that makes you a great Mum and your DD is lucky to have you.

Well this just made me cry, thank you for your really kind words. We have tried her with a few spoonfuls just to get her used to the idea but she’s not keen just yet - she’s actually not 6 months for a couple of weeks so we’re still a little early.

My reflux baby was an absolute nightmare, wouldn't sleep in the cot, couldn't ride in his car seat as the laid down position was so painful for him.

We gave the medication from a syringe, it was hard at first but he did get used to it and started taking it easier after a few weeks.

Food was the major change for us, that heaviness in his tummy made all the difference where he slept better at night. We found mashed banana made a huge difference for him, no idea why but he had it every single evening (now he's 8 and won't touch bananas 😂).

Solidarity, you are doing the best for your baby xx

Just here to add - please ignore the 'rod for your own back' nonsense. Your baby is still tiny and if she needs you comforting her then that is just what she needs. I say this as someone sat here with a baby that's been on me or my partner since about 10pm. Have tried cot numerous times and it's a no-go tonight so have accepted we're in it for the long haul and am catching up on some Netflix trash.

Sleep deprivation is awful isn't it. You are doing the best for your baby, giving her the comfort she needs but it's so hard isn't it. I have no words of wisdom! I found that when I stopped comparing our sleep situation to others, things got easier to cope with. Every baby and family is different and you've got to do what works for you.
Do you and your partner do shifts? Splitting the night in half so each of us gets some uninterrupted sleep has made a difference. Although I think your baby is BF, but even if your partner brought the baby to you to feed then back to separate room to resettle / cuddle and hold while baby sleeps Obviously I know you may not have the space /setup to be able to do so.

As a fellow first time Mum - you are doing nothing wrong. You know your baby and you are the best Mum she could have.

@Pine24 You’re so right - I need to stop comparing and just deal with the situation we have in front of us. I obsessively read everything about what sleep should look like now and worry about our DD so much but I just have to accept that she is her own little gorgeous person and needs what she needs right now. Me and my partner do try and share the night to some extent - I get her settled then get my head down for a couple of hours sleep til her first wake up. If I’m lucky then I can get another hour or so until OH hands over for main nighttime stretch then I sometimes am able to get another hour in the morning before she wakes up. It’s not much but every little makes a big difference to how I survive the day.

My silent reflux baby didn’t nap in a cot until 10 months (bar one or two where DH managed to get her down). She wouldn’t even nap in the pram. It was carrier or cuddles only. From about 9 months I started putting her down asleep in her cot and she would instantly roll over, cry, and then sit up. Until one day she stayed asleep. Absolutely nothing different, she just…was ready. She still needs to be cuddled to sleep by us, but will just lie down and sleep at nursery (!).

We used to syringe omeprazole into her. It was a nightmare to begin with, but worth it in the end. Gaviscon didn’t work for her at all. At about 7 months I asked for a medication review and the GP was amazed she was still on it, and stopped the prescription. She was fine! He said generally once babies are weaning, the reflux dies down/stops completely, so you can reduce medication more easily. I would speak to the health visitor about early weaning.

I found that DD slept really heavily after some baby porridge, and after a while started moving her meal times around so she had breakfast at dinner and then would go to sleep more easily on a full porridgey tummy, and had longer during the day to digest the different textures and flavours we were introducing.