I’m struggling with my second DC’s bedtime and sleep!
He’s almost 2 years old, and this has been going on since last summer. He was able to climb out of his cot so he is in a low down single bed with guards as it’s safer, he doesn’t like the duvet, always pushing it off but has woken up cold before, so is in a footless 2.5 tog sleeping bag and his room is 19/20 degrees.
I bathe him at 18:30 and he’s “in bed” by 19:00, when has a 7oz bottle of oat/cows milk in bed and his dummy once he’s finished it.
He usually takes a really long time to fall asleep, tossing and turning, jumping up and laying back down, or even just laying there or snuggling, sometimes for up to 2 and a half hours, and he cannot bear to be alone. I lay with him in basically pitch dark, either in silence or singing softly until he falls asleep, If I try to leave he cries inconsolably and climbs out of bed and comes out of his room to cry on the landing, which seems never ending, I’ve tried leaving him 15 mins and returning but he cries so hard that he’s usually sick, and that feels really cruel. I really would like to get my evenings back, I also have a 5 year old that now comes into his bed to fall asleep after reading to them both, then once they are both asleep I carry her to her own bed, she always nods off first, otherwise she has to just fall asleep herself, alone first, without a goodnight routine, so lately I have just put them to bed together (their dad works late and does wake up and breakfast with them).
He then wakes up again anytime between 11 pm and 4 am and again will not go back to sleep easily even after being soothed, and even once asleep he’s tossing and turning; it’s like he try he knows the second you try to leave. I end up Co-sleeping in his single or bringing him up into our bed, where either way I don’t get sleep as I end up with approximately an a4 piece of bed, back ache, trying to avoid a little arm or leg slipping under me the second I turn over, once he is asleep that is…
It always has to be me attending to him at night because his dad does try, but it ends in a giant, loud, crying fit when he sees it’s not me.
I’m close to the end of my rope, I find myself feeling grumpy and even unwell most days.
He has a 1-1.5 hr nap each day, which we’ve played with the timing of to no avail. He wakes up anytime between 6-8, we usually wake him up by 7 if he’s not up already. It also doesn’t seem to matter what time he goes to bed or wakes up in the morning, he still takes ages to go down and will wake up in the night without fail.
He’s a really happy, active and healthy boy otherwise, he eats really well, communicates and understands well, he gets lots of exercise, outdoor play and stimulation at home and with childminder, barely any screen time at all.
If anyone has any ideas of what else we could try, please, PLEASE share them.