How to get 10 month old to settle in cot without cuddling to sleep

[elm26]

I know, I know! I've made a rod for my own back.

I've cuddled DD to sleep before putting her in her cot since she was newborn. I think after a lot of miscarriages and waiting 9 years for a miracle I just wanted to soak up all of the lovely cuddles but now she's 10 months and on the move (crawling, pulling herself up etc) and she's obviously a lot heavier now, my back is suffering and we've had to lower the cot base down as she stands up now.

We have a consistent routine of dinner, bath, a little story and then I cuddle her until she falls asleep but now the cot is lower I'm struggling to put her in with my back (I have sciatica and also ongoing problems from 2 failed epidurals).

I know she can self settle as sometimes she wakes in the night briefly, finds her dummy and her little comforter and will lay back down and go to sleep without crying or calling out, I see this on the camera if I have a flick through in the morning to see what she was up to in the night.

I've tried to put her in after our story and cuddle, stroke her head and sit by the cot telling her it's time to sleep and she'll lay down for a second then sit bolt upright with her arms up. Ive told her to lay back down and stroked her back etc but we soon as I retreat she's back up. I've also tried putting her in and telling her good night and leaving the room, she screamed and sobbed for 5 minutes before I gave in and went in.

Where do I start with this wise mumsnetters? I'm really reluctant to do the "cry it out" method.

My baby is 14m and I've never not cuddled him to sleep at night that's how he sleeps best! Why are you wanting to change it now? Do you need to for you or you just think you 'should!'

The alternative would be stroking her in bed till she's asleep then nearly asleep etc

Ps sorry I just saw about the sore back I totally empathize - could you do the cuddle and then get your DP to lower her down into cot when she's asleep?

Also get an osteopath

Teaching your baby to settle in the cot without cuddling may take time and patience. Be patient with your baby and yourself, and remember tiny fishing that every baby is different. With time and consistency, your baby will learn to settle independently.

You might also consider introducing a transitional object, like a small blanket or stuffed animal, to help her feel secure when you're not right next to her. Remember, every child is different, so be gentle with yourself during this process. You've got contexto this!

Watching with interest. I still cuddle by 2.5 year to sleep like this so I have no answers. One friend of mine uses a floor bed and stays in the bed with her toddler until they are asleep so that could work but I understand why you'd want to keep her in the cot longer at this stage. Another friend pats her toddler on the back in the cot until asleep but I find this even harder on my back that cuddling and transferring.

@elm26 Do you have any tips on cot settling? I’m going to start trying to get him to self settle in his crib tonight