Sleep Training

[Poppalina37]

My DD is 4 months old and has been co-sleeping with me.

I've read conflicting advice about when to start sleep training. She's 18 weeks and I started yesterday.

Tonight, it's been horrendous. My older children are absolutely horrified that I'm leaving her for 5 minutes and checking in on her. I literally want to cry myself.

I need and want to do this because from May she will be stopping overnight with her father. It'll be better for all of us that she sleeps safely in her travel cot.

It's so hard.... I feel so weak and pathetic but know long term it's for the best.

You don't need to leave the room you can pat her and stroke her in her cot pick her up to soothe her and put her down again

Ps why is she stopping overnight with her dad so young?

Is it too young?

He wants 50:50 access. Week on week off. I don't.

My solicitor advised that I allow weekly overnight from 6 months to pacify him. In the hope that he backs down.

I've not experienced this before and everyone has an opinion.

Hi I don’t know for sure but a lot of what I’ve read suggests that 6 months is when you can start training in the fashion you described.
before that you can do the good foundation setting. Ie placing down drowsy or awake and shushing/ patting to sleep. Trying to reduce associations that no longer suit you. So maybe you can do start the night in cot but then as the night wakes happen being baby in your bed? So effectively slower approach.

4 months is often when they go through a sleep regression. It can be a really hard time to sleep train. I was successful with my youngest at 5 months, and my other two closer to 7 months. With them at those slightly older ages it really wasn’t so awful. They would protest-cry but you could tell it was a frustrated/angry cry, and it was something like 40 minutes (including the 5-min checks) the first night, 15 min the second night, slept through the third night. Now they’re all wonderful sleepers, and generally healthy and happy.

I would maybe hold off until you really need to, and your DC is a bit older and more developmentally ready. Also, I know it’s easier said than done, but try to project to your DC that you’re relaxed about this. If you’re projecting anxiety because of your ex-DP’s deadline (…which is an understandable thing to feel anxious about!) sleep training will feel harder for both of you. You need to feel comfortable that you’re doing the right thing. I’ve always approached sleep training the way I’ve approached vaccines and baths. You may not like them, sweetie, but it’s for the best, it’s non-negotiable, I love you, and I’m here to support you through it.