18month old won’t go to sleep in his cot

[JacquiDaytona]

First baby, so maybe we’ve approached this all wrong - but so far, other than a couple of nasty sleep regressions, we get 7-7 with an hour or so nap in the day and generally a happy, chilled out little boy. So we’ve not changed the routine we’ve had since he was tiny, which is that one of us lies down with him on a sofa bed, has a chat until he’s asleep, then transfers him into his cot.

The last week or so, he seems to have clicked what bedtime is and that he’s rather be playing! It’s taken over an hour every night and I think it’s now time that we need to do what we should have done ages ago and help him get to sleep on his cot.

any tips on how to do this?? When I put him in, he shouts ‘no’ ‘out’ and ‘I NOT’ and stands up and cries until I take him out…

[JacquiDaytona]

Any ideas…?

[Geranium1984]

Hi, bumping this for you as I'm not sure I can help. I've had one good sleeper and currently looking for help with my second.
Is tricky as he is old enough to be really aware and quite stubborn but I think you're right that he needs to settle in the cot.
Does he have a little soft toy or comforter?
My boy loved (and still does) his comforter for going to sleep and my girl has a duck soft toy.
When my son was going through a bit of a regression or we were sleeping somewhere different like on holiday I'd lie on the floor and shush and pat the matress rhythmically.
My daughter is a bit harder and although usually self settles with a but of moaning, she sometimes needs her back rubbed.
I'd maybe look at a sleep consultant to help. We used sarah carpenter via video monitor when my daughter was 10mo as I was finding it impossible to get her self settling but Sarah got her down without much trouble and just a bit of grumbling, she was also sleeping through the night. Has all gone to pot now since starting nursery though 😞
Good luck x

[JacquiDaytona]

Thank you.

it’s gone from bad to worse, I’m getting at most 4hrs a night. Last night he didn’t go filo bed til after 8 (tried normal 7pm but was having none of it), ip 12-2, them up 4-5, slept til 5:45 and that’s it. I can’t function.

[Rocknrollstar]

Put him in his cot at bedtime (7.00?) and tell him it is time to go to sleep. Read a story. Kiss good night and leave the room and don’t go back. He will soon get the message. If he wakes in night, go in, change nappy and put back in cot quite firmly good night again and leave. It may take a few nights but he will settle down.

[elm26]

Have you checked that he's not too warm/cold in the night? I would cut out the sofa bed cuddles, give a bath, story, milk and a cuddle or whatever your routine is with that kind of thing and then I'd put him in his cot and do a slow retreat. For example "it's time to sleep, lay down" whilst stroking his head etc. leave the room and give it 2 mins, if he's still unsettled or crying go back and give him comfort in his cot like stroking his head/back if he's a front sleeper etc. rinse and repeat until he clicks that it's time to sleep. X

[JacquiDaytona]

Thanks everyone! I think the tough love approach is the way forwards - he woke at midnight last night and i was so tired that I just lay him back down rather than get him out and cuddles - it took the best part of an hour laying him back down and lots of crying but he then slept til 6!! Currently attempting the same now…

[girlmummy25]

Not quite the same but my 18 month still wakes in the night for milk and cuddles. We are also doing the 'tough love' approach now as I just cannot handle being tired forever.
Im soothing on his first wake and then monitoring on all his other wakes. So far he still cries out in the night but goes back to sleep after a couple minutes.

Hoping it goes well for the both of us OP!

[TheShellBeach]

Get the Ferber sleep training book.

[JacquiDaytona]

I think Ferber is a bit much for me but I guess knowing the principles behind it helps.

one wake up last night (an unexpected midnight poo) but back in bed within half an hour and still asleep 🎉