How did you stop cosleeping with your BF toddlers?

[BananaHammock23]

DS is 2.5 and I'm 23 weeks pregnant, due a few weeks before DS turns 3.

DS still breastfeeds to sleep and throughout the night, occasionally in the day if I'm not at work. He sleeps in my bed (and DP has been in the spare room for 18 months, which isn't ideal but that's another thread!).

We've been doing up his bedroom with a view to move him in the next month or so, but it just feels impossible atm. DP can settle him when I'm out but it takes longer and often tears. Not adverse to DP cosleepjng in DS's new room.

Anyone got any wisdom to share?

I went back to work on night shifts and my husband slept with toddler whilst myself at work. they managed co sleeping between them. the night shifts caused my milk to dry up and i just stopped all breastfeeding. baby was 1yr exactly

i think you could do similar and sleep in the spare room whilst partner co sleeps with toddler. with this you can work on phasing out the breastfeeding quickly.

then you can either continue co-sleeping or try and get him used to own room. I had 2 children both <2. We still co sleep with both children, usually 1 adult per child (husband with toddler, me with baby)

however there are odd times when my husband is away and i just sleep between them both. we have a king size bed

I think i would prioritise stopping breastfeeding.

i have met a couple of mums in baby groups who feed 2 children - toddler and newborn. they don't seem to be enjoying it however are reluctant to stop feeding the toddler as worried about creating jealousy between the toddler and new sibling. (they don't want the toddler to associate the new baby with losing the breast!)

Following! Need this advice as ttc now

2.5 was when I night weaned DC1-3 (DC4 just coming up for 4months). I ended cosleeping about 3 or4 months later. No tears from two of them, one we did have a few but only for a minute or two and only a couple of times. I have a low tolerance for tears at bedtime. You've got just enough time I reckon - you'd need to start now if you don't want to be rushed as you want to complete any changes at least 2 minths before baby arrived so the Two aren't related too closely.

I started by explaining to them through stories. One advantage of lateish weaning is their communication skills, so make uss of that. We read books at bedtime - Sally Deans from Night nursing, Nursies when the sun shines, Mummys milk is all gone.... there are lots of available books. We read them without comment as part of bedtime for a few days, and then when they were familiar with the stories we started to talk about it - they were a big boy/girl now, and were learning lots of new things and soon wouldn't need mummy milk any more and would have cuddles instead. 2 weeks later we started tackling the night weaning. First two weeks or so aim not to feed to sleep at bed time, but do so for all night wakes. I'm a fan of thePantley Pull Off method. Once that's working well, move the last feed backwards a bit. We used to do 3 stories at bedtime, so it went from being after last story (but with Pull Off) to between 2nd and 3rd.... nice it back every 3 night's or so until it is before stories. Once that's going well, you're ready to tackle night wakes. For the first two weeks you can feed them, but try the pull off so you're working towards feeding for comfort but putting them down awake. After that's working you tell them there is no more milk till morning. This is where you might get tears. LOTS of cuddles!! You might need to rock them to sleep for a bit. This part costs you sleep - you would ideally start this when you're going to be able to have a nap during the dayif needed.

Anyway that rather an essay, but you get the idea. Slow progress,but shifting the goal once a fortnight. Alwaystalk to your toddler about what is going on and read stories together to help them to understand. Happy to talk through the eh of cosleeping if you want to. Although I have to admit one of my 3yos has been sneaking inbetween 5.30 and 6.00 the last few days! He's very wriggly so this is not ideal for me.

Thank you @TinyTeachr this is so helpful! I'm absolutely dreading night weaning tbh - I'm so exhausted already I can't imagine making it worse but I see it might be necessary to getting him in his own space!

Honestly I dreaded it. Even having done it before! They seened totally dependent so I coudlnt see it going smoothly and I really can't abide crying in the evening. Astonishingly, it was fine. I think doing it with a child that is old enough to have some understanding is easier than you think it will be. I actually found the progress faster than I felt ready for and felt like they were moving on almost before I was mentally ready.

I also worried a bit about how I would settle them without the magic of breastfeeding. The thing is, although it seems like they're dependent on the breast, it's actually just the connection with you they need. And by this age, there are lots of different ways they can feel that. So you can remove the problematic sleep association without losing any of the affection/bond. My boys were a bit under the weather this evening and a bit feverish. We got all snuggled up on the sofa together and DH joined us when he got home. They may be big grown up 3yos now and finished with cosleeping and breastfeeding, but they'll always be my babies.

Best of luck with it, crack on and you'll see progress in no time!