Cold Turkey Dummy

AmberOP · 2024-03-09T19:39:32+00:00

Hi, I’m looking for reassurance and positive posts please to help this mum’s broken heart. Baby boy is 7 months old and I took his dummy away yesterday. I never planned on taking it from him so soon, I was in it for the long haul and I know he’s not too far off being able to replace it himself. However, dummy runs were becoming ridiculously frequent and I could tell my son wasn’t getting enough sleep due to it. I spoke to a sleep consultant who suggested getting rid of it. They said that even if my son learns to replace it himself, that only really helps mine and my husbands sleep as my son will still ultimately be getting broken sleep trying to find and replace the dummy. We took it yesterday night and it has been so hard. He’s usually a good napper but obviously his naps have been all over the show today and I think he was overtired by bedtime. We’ve gone from quite a nice bedtime/naptime routine with sleep associations to listening to him cry and going in to reassure. It makes me feel ill and incredibly anxious. However, now we’ve started I feel like it would be even crueler to backtrack, if we did, what was the point in putting him through the past 24 hours? I’m looking for anyone who ditched the dummy when their baby was a similar age who has positive stories or some words of encouragement. Please tell me it’s worth it! Thanks.

SeaToSki · 09/03/2024 19:40

Definitely worth it..keep going

Scaffoldingisugly · 09/03/2024 19:46

His source of comfort taken away.. Wow.

baddecisionsmakegreatcompany · 09/03/2024 19:48

We ditched slightly earlier - around six months - bedtime was fine as he had the same routines/associations but nap time was not - however we stuck with it as he’s never been a great napper and in a few days none of us including DS missed the dummy. It was harder ditching the bouncer which was amazing for daytime naps! Good luck and don’t beat yourself up - backtracking is always an option if it doesn’t get better xxx

Rosiiee · 09/03/2024 19:50

Very brave of you! My DS is 2 and is obsessed with his. They’re sacred in our house! The thought of taking it away gives me anxiety. If you’ve made the decision to take them away then I suspect it’ll take a few days for him to get used to it. We sleep trained and it took 3 nights so hopefully it’ll be similar for you.

Following with interest though as I know we’ll have to go through it at some stage too.

MyLemonBee · 09/03/2024 21:52

Scaffoldingisugly · 09/03/2024 19:46

His source of comfort taken away.. Wow.

I imagine his parents, his toys, and his home are greater sources of comfort… but anyway karen….

Scaffoldingisugly · 09/03/2024 22:00

The cot death risk alone is worth giving him one.. How rude when my name isn't Karen. Smart arse...

GreatGateauxsby · 09/03/2024 22:07

Rosiiee · 09/03/2024 19:50

Very brave of you! My DS is 2 and is obsessed with his. They’re sacred in our house! The thought of taking it away gives me anxiety. If you’ve made the decision to take them away then I suspect it’ll take a few days for him to get used to it. We sleep trained and it took 3 nights so hopefully it’ll be similar for you.

Following with interest though as I know we’ll have to go through it at some stage too.

Yup this.

I WISH I had done it sooner. We tried at 18m but cracked on day 3… we are now at 2 years 😓

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 09/03/2024 22:20

I would introduce a comforter. My DS has a little muslin one. I put it down my top at night the first night and then popped it in his cot. He only has it for sleeps but he loves it.

Original poster

AmberOP · 10/03/2024 03:51

MyLemonBee · 09/03/2024 21:52

I imagine his parents, his toys, and his home are greater sources of comfort… but anyway karen….

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Thank you for the support! You would think that this person had better things to do on a Saturday night than scroll through Mumsnet, of all places, and attempt to mum-shame.

I have been up hourly to check on him - hence the time of this post. As I said in my OP, this has never been about my sleep, it’s about doing what’s best for him. If we kept the dummy, we would eventually sleep fine once he could replace it, but he wouldn’t. Happy to report that after 20 minutes of fussing at the start of the night, he’s been asleep nearly 9 hours so far and still going strong! A huge difference from the first night. Very proud of him and already can’t wait to see him in the morning (or whenever it might be! Possibly 5am 😂)

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Original poster

AmberOP · 10/03/2024 03:54

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 09/03/2024 22:20

I would introduce a comforter. My DS has a little muslin one. I put it down my top at night the first night and then popped it in his cot. He only has it for sleeps but he loves it.

Yes thanks for this! We do have one and he loves it. I definitely think it’s made the transition a little easier. First night was so hard but the second night has been much more successful (so far!)

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MyLemonBee · 10/03/2024 06:38

AmberOP · 10/03/2024 03:51

Thank you for the support! You would think that this person had better things to do on a Saturday night than scroll through Mumsnet, of all places, and attempt to mum-shame.

I have been up hourly to check on him - hence the time of this post. As I said in my OP, this has never been about my sleep, it’s about doing what’s best for him. If we kept the dummy, we would eventually sleep fine once he could replace it, but he wouldn’t. Happy to report that after 20 minutes of fussing at the start of the night, he’s been asleep nearly 9 hours so far and still going strong! A huge difference from the first night. Very proud of him and already can’t wait to see him in the morning (or whenever it might be! Possibly 5am 😂)

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We waited until 18 months (of hourly dummy throws and dummy related wakings) and it took a good few days of my kid being mega sad, though then we were done and he slept better. Wish we’d done it sooner.

Elder one just grew out of them around 2 so kids are all different!

Original poster

AmberOP · 10/03/2024 06:43

baddecisionsmakegreatcompany · 09/03/2024 19:48

We ditched slightly earlier - around six months - bedtime was fine as he had the same routines/associations but nap time was not - however we stuck with it as he’s never been a great napper and in a few days none of us including DS missed the dummy. It was harder ditching the bouncer which was amazing for daytime naps! Good luck and don’t beat yourself up - backtracking is always an option if it doesn’t get better xxx

Thank you for this! We’ve had a brilliant night last night (trying not to get ahead of myself, could have just been tired from the awful night before!)

However, obviously not looking forward to naps today. Did it take longer for your wee one to get used to napping without the dummy? Or would you say in a few days naps were OK too? I’ve read that it can take a few nights for night sleep but a few weeks for day sleep!

Thanks

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baddecisionsmakegreatcompany · 10/03/2024 15:57

AmberOP · 10/03/2024 06:43

Thank you for this! We’ve had a brilliant night last night (trying not to get ahead of myself, could have just been tired from the awful night before!)

However, obviously not looking forward to naps today. Did it take longer for your wee one to get used to napping without the dummy? Or would you say in a few days naps were OK too? I’ve read that it can take a few nights for night sleep but a few weeks for day sleep!

Thanks

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Tbh he’s never been a great day sleeper (9 and a half months and today he’s had 15mins) great that the night time sleeps are better! I would say that he now looks to bottle for a bit of comfort and as we are weaning I try to offer his bottle at mid morning and mid afternoon in the hope of naps - obvs it hasn’t worked today! Hope it is another good night tonight xx

baddecisionsmakegreatcompany · 10/03/2024 15:58

Also second the comforter for night time - bunnies are brilliant he loves chewing on the ears - and easier to find than a dummy!

Gg0001 · 10/03/2024 23:14

Scaffoldingisugly · 09/03/2024 19:46

His source of comfort taken away.. Wow.

Literally the reason some people feel uncomfortable to talk about struggles during motherhood. Mumshaming at its finest.

Speaking of comfort - why don’t you take a rest from the keyboard and do us all a favour

Original poster

AmberOP · 11/03/2024 20:36

Happy to report that we ditched the dummy on Friday night and by Sunday night he went down for bed without making a peep. Slept for 9 hours and then self-settled after a brief wake at 5am with no tears. Since then he’s fallen asleep really calmly and content for every nap and bedtime tonight. Seems much more rested and happier during the day too. So far so good!

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Rosiiee · 11/03/2024 20:43

Ah great news!! Maybe I should just be braver and ditch it too 😂

Original poster

AmberOP · 11/03/2024 21:13

Rosiiee · 11/03/2024 20:43

Ah great news!! Maybe I should just be braver and ditch it too 😂

I should have caveated this by saying the first 24 hours were extremely hard! But the progress was really swift after that. I can’t say the process is completely over this early on, but I’m hopeful! I kept a wee diary so if anyone wants any further information I’m happy to share.

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