1.5 year old has gone rogue

[ISDA2020]

Hi! I hope someone can help. I recently weaned off my DD off breastmilk, as I have gone back to work. It was not terribly painful and she was fine for the first two weeks.

Now it’s another story. She sleeps around 7.30/8. Wakes up either at 1/2/3 and is just inconsolable. I’ve tried rocking, singing, patting, giving water. She will sometimes be awake for 2/3 hours. Eventually I’ll get her back down but she’s up again by 6 and then ready for the day.

Then I drop her to grandmas where she has started her first nap much earlier 9/10 and restarted a second nap 3/4 for an hour.

Yesterday when I tried to put her to bed she absolutely kicked off and we ended up having to drive her to get her to sleep at midnight. She slept through but is awake at 6 (and is super grumpy).

I am normally unfazed b/c my 3.5 yr old still doesn’t sleep through the night so used to it but this is now destroying me. She’s really really loud. And I’ve developed arthritis in my wrist at the age of 30 so rocking all night hurts!! I am going to work with 3 hours of sleep sometimes.

Could anyone help with a routine or anything that could help? At this point I’ll give cry it out a go if it will help.

(Husband helps where he can as much as he can but extremely long hours + recent health issues make it difficult).

Although as I type this I realise a LOT has changed for her (weaning, me starting work, her going to grandmas, earlier wake ups).

Our son went from sleeping through to suddenly waking at around 11pm-12am every night. He was about 17 months. Inconsolable crying, not wanting to be held but not wanting to be put down either, not wanting milk, writhing around… it was awful and would take us about an hour and a half to get him back to sleep. Then he’d be up at 5.30am! It lasted about a fortnight and then we decided it couldn’t continue so the next night when he started up, I went in and said “it’s night time, go to sleep, night night” and then left his room. He cried on and off for about 45 minutes (we had to just block it out) and then fell asleep. And that’s us been back to sleeping 7pm-6am for the past few months.

Our reasoning was that he was old enough to understand it was sleep time and that mum and dad were across the hall and that the broken sleep wasn’t benefitting anyone -most of all him! It was horrible letting him cry it out but by far the best thing in the long run. He’s also recently decided he loves a cuddly toy and now has that in his cot and for naps to snuggle into.

Oh and in terms of routine. By 18 months he was on one nap a day. I think the morning nap has just started again for you because she’s probably shattered?

Generally his day looks like:
6am-6.30am: Wakes up
12.30pm : Nap which varies from 1.5 hours to 40 minutes! (He’s inconsistent with it but goes to nursery 2 days and to gran 2 days. Sleeps longer in a cot at gran’s. At nursery in the cot he usually gets about 50 mins and with me he falls asleep in the car after his activity, so usually just 40 mins that day)
6.30pm: Bath and then sleepsuit, sleepbag, milk
7pm: Put into cot with dummy and cuddly toy. Door closed. Generally either falls asleep immediately or makes sleepy noises for about 15 mins and then falls asleep

Every so often he goes through a spell of waking at 5am/5.30am (growth spurts usually to blame) but even then we try to push his nap until 12.30pm at the earliest. Nursery are pros at keeping him going! 😂

At that age I think they’re meant to have about 5-6 hours awake time before bedtime. I don’t let him sleep past 2pm because his bedtime is 7pm. I wonder if her afternoon nap is too late now and then she isn’t tired enough to sleep fully overnight? I’d try to keep her going with maybe just a 15 min Power Nap in the afternoon. Or else just a Power Nap in the morning maybe so that she does a lunchtime nap?

Baby/toddler sleep is a nightmare!

How long has it been of her waking up upset at night? If only a few nights, I would possibly wait it out as it might settle down and as you say, a lot is changing for her at the moment.

If it's been going on a couple of weeks, I would probably try and change up her schedule a bit as split nights (when they are up for an extended period of time in the night) can often be due to not being quite tired enough when going to bed. You could trial a consistent slightly later bedtime of maybe 8.15/8.30 for a couple of weeks, make sure she has a consistent morning wake time and try to get her to one nap with a good stretch of 5-6 hours or so awake prior to bedtime. She may still wake up occasionally especially as it is a lot to adjust to with you going back to work and she might just need a bit of extra comfort. But hopefully it will stop the split nights

@Junebug22 @angelpie33 thank you both so much. I made this post in a time of desperation and your replies were super helpful! I’ve given it a few days and things are better!

I asked grandma to put her down for her nap around 11- she sleeps well (1.5-2hrs) and this tides here over until her bedtime of 7pm. She is normally asleep by 7.30pm.

she does still wake up but it’s normally a quick pat or gentle rocking and she goes back to sleep.

I am honestly so relieved!

It's great to hear that you were able to successfully wean your child off breastmilk and transition back to work without too much discomfort. Weaning can be a significant milestone for both you and your child, and final grade calculator's normal for there to be an adjustment period as your bodies adapt to the changes.