How to stop co sleeping

[Pinklilly]

Hi all. I wonder if anyone has any advice on how best to support little ones sleep if they seem highly sensitive.
my little girl is 5 months (today) and she is a really poor sleeper. It’s becoming worse day by day.
in summary for naps I hold and cuddle her to sleep then pop her in her cot very slowly. She will nap for one sleep cycle (40 mins) and often wakes up irritable and obviously tired. If in pram or car she can sleep for ages!

at night I will breastfeed her usually to sleep and put her in her cot and she will wake up after an hour. Then often I’ll try and settle her back to sleep but mostly end up offering breast again and back in cot then she often wakes after 20-30 mins. I will then pop her in my bed to settle her and she falls asleep instantly by being close to me. So in summary she likes to co sleep, but I find it unsustainable as I can’t toss or turn because she wants me facing her even in sleep. It often seems like her sleep isn’t very deep.

i feel she is a baby who needs to be close to me but I really think she would benefit from deeper sleep and better quality of sleep. I also desperately need sleep as I have a 2.5 year old (she is a great sleeper and generally always has been).
it takes me so long to settle baby after she wakes only for her to wake after 30 mins hence giving up and putting her in my bed.

such a long post but my question is has anyone tried sleep training/supporting when baby clearly needs to be close to parent? Do strategies work in this scenario? I am open to a little bit of crying moaning but not cry it out entirely. I have tried to get her to self settle, and I managed that with my other child but I can’t really with this one. I can’t afford a sleep consultant but was considering buying a course from just chill mama has anyone used any of these?
any advice would be appreciated

Hiya I feel for you- my eldest (35 this year so a VERY long time ago!) had bad reflux from birth and the only way I got any rest was to co-sleep… I slept on my back with him on my chest- hasten to add this is NOT my usual sleep position - I’m a side sleeper- but I soon got used to it. Not everyone will be supportive of this and I do understand why but it worked for me. Incidentally my grandson (not my eldest sons boy) had a similar issue and co slept with his mum ( and me when I babysat every Friday to give her one full night’s sleep a week) … they both grew out of it by age 3/4 and I honestly believe that anything that allows both child and mother to rest is appropriate. Hang in there OP - you will all be fine xxx

Can’t remember exactly but think I waited until about 7/8 months before moving our babies to the cot in their own room. Started with naps there first then full on transition.

I did gentle cry it out so leave them to cry for a minute or so, go back in to reassure and then out again, but if it gets too much I just sat in the room
and sang to them / held hand until they fell asleep then slowly crept out. Also dream feed and dummy helps.

i think 5 months is a bit early to start this though, I’d probably continue what you’re doing for another couple of months. I think there’s a sleep regression around this time too

Hi OP. Does she need to be fed/cuddled to sleep? She may be waking irritable as the last thing she remembers is being in your arms and then she's not all of a sudden!

Hi everyone thank you! I agree I think she’s too young now but I was thinking maybe when she’s 6 months! But it’s helpful to get an idea of what worked.
@SureLook she needs to be cuddled to sleep. And I agree it must be that she realises I’m not there but I’ve tried to let her sleep independently and she just doesn’t sleep. Maybe I should try for longer but I just get so tired.
do you have any suggestions?

Aww I understand about the tiredness, you'll do anything to get some sleep. I agree with the others that she's probably a bit too young to try yet. But when she's a bit older you could gear yourself up for a week or two of hell but tell yourself it'll pass, it's only temporary. A lot of repetition of putting her down awake, leaving her upset for a minute or two (or whatever you're comfortable with) and then going back in and giving her comfort. It will be tough but it will be worth it. Go easy on yourself and do what's right for you and your family!