2 year old in bad sleep routine.. need help.

[ByBreezyZebra]

My 2 year old will not sleep on a night. I know we're going to get shot down for this but her dad got her in the habit of going to bed with the tv on, without it on she screams and screams. So she stays awake until 2-3am then will sleep in until lunch time if she's allowed. Basically she's a teenager.
I'm at a loss. What do I do?

@stargazing8 in terms of naps or what we do during the day? X

Sounds like she's used to the noise of the tv? Maybe get a white noise machine? We use one every nap/night for our 2 yr old. He likes the rain noise.

In my experience, giving up a habit like this takes 2-3 awful nights and then it settles down at this age. They get over things quicker than we do.

So maybe you could just gear yourself up for a rough few days? Set a new routine, e.g. my 2yo will go into his room, get pjs on, read two books and then has a choice of being lifted into his cot or climbing in . We sit and hold his hand while he settles then leave him to it.

If he stands up or messes about I go to leave until he settles again - but he has really good comprehension and we only started that recently.

@stargazing8 she goes to nursery once a week in which it is a massive struggle to wake her up at 7am to get her to!! When we're at home she wakes about 10am, we'll play or go to the park or a group, or chill at home. She doesn't always nap, if she does it's usually around 3-5pm.

I feel like such a terrible parent.

Oh god you're not a terrible parent at all! Sleep is tough with such young kids and sleep deprivation makes you desperate! Been there done that.

I'd create a routine. Stick to it. Whatever happens, stick to the times and the steps. As pp mentioned it'll take a few days to her to pick it up but she will.

I wouldn't allow a nap after 3pm. That would just affect bedtime imo. Dinner, bath, bed and maybe white noise if you want to give it a go.

@RockAndRollerskate I think you're right. With me working I must admit I've just given up and let her have the tv on so I can get some sleep. But I've got some time off so might take the chance. I wouldn't mind her having the tv on if it was just a comfort to help her sleep but she literally stays up all night watching it then wants to sleep all morning. I might try tonight with a bath, story and bed. Maybe something less distracting like someone else mentioned a white noise machine or something.

You’re not a terrible parent lovely, we’re all doing the best we can. Especially when working - it’s tough!

If you’re feeling really brave, try getting her up 7am each day and no nap after about 2pm.

She should start going down around 7-8pm.

And get the TV out of her room so it’s not an option perhaps?

You’re got yourself into a bit of a vicious cycle with waking up late, napping late and going to bed late. No judgement on tv though, occasionally I’ll give my two year old the iPad before bed but he never sleeps if he has it all night so he watches an hour or so and then it’s off for the night. He always has a mini tantrum so it’s way better to avoid it all together but I have a baby as well so occasionally needs must!

You need to go cold turkey for a bit to break the habit. Brace yourself for a rough couple of nights but I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you think. Get her up every morning at 7am without fail. Try and reset the routine of wake-up at 7am and bedtime at 7pm. She’ll adjust quickly as long as you are consistent.

You’re not a terrible parent. Wake her up at the same time every day and nap at the same time. Mine is 2 1/2 and he needs a 1 to 1 1/2 hour nap a day. Some days we skip but he turns into Mr Hyde on those evenings due to tiredness.

Get her out and about doing exercise during the day and no screen time after dinner . I’d prefer earlier but generally he’s asleep by 9 each night.

Sound machines never worked with ours , just the bore to sleep method with us being close by.
best of luck.

@Rosiiee Thank you ❤️ I feel terrible like oh she just sticks the TV so she can get some sleep then lets her sleep in all morning!

@RockAndRollerskate Thank you I feel terrible! I think that's a good idea. Especially with me having time off work. She normally goes to bed between 8.30-9.30. But I've often poked my head in at 2am thinking she'd be asleep and she's sat there and waved at me 🤦🏼‍♀️
I think trying to get into an earlier routine and going cold turkey on the tv might have to be the answer x

@Nosleepforthismum I think you're right. With her only going to childcare 1 day a week she's used to lying in as she has no where to be. DH has her while he's working from home and I'm out at work, so he likes her to sleep in so he can get some work done but that's not a good habit!
I keep seeing baby groups that start at 9-10am and think.. there's no way I'll get her up and out for those 🤦🏼‍♀️
I think I do need to be consistent and change the routine to an earlier time. We've got into such a bad habit and it's no good for anyone.

Just stick to an early bedtime and early wakeup! Just imagine having your evenings back! Time to cook dinner, time for just you and DH, maybe even an early night for yourself? Mine goes down at 6.30pm at the latest. He just loses it if it’s any later.

Totally not relevant but what’s she watching on TV?

You need to bring everything back timewise.

Up at 7:30 every day or whatever time works for nursery. Don't let this slide into being later as then the nap will be later and so will bedtime.

Nap around 1ish, no more than an hour otherwise she won't be tired for bedtime. Keep an eye on this as some little ones drop their naps around this time.

Then bedtime will be much easier/at a normal time as she won't be fighting sleep and wanting the tv on.

It will take a week or so for this to settle but her routine is far too late timewise at the moment.