Does anyone sleep in a seperate bed to DH/DP??

[pedilia]

It is something DH and I are considering for a variety of reasons, DH starts work anywhere between 2-4am, he snores very loudly and is generally very restless at night which makes my already awful insomnia even worse!
I can manage maybe 4-5 hours sleep if he is not there.

I am just wondering what impact if any this would have on our relationship.

yup - him sleep apnoea
me - insomina

hve slept seperate beds for five years.

all fine - probably helped our relationship.

i say go for it.

as lovely as it is having dh back in the same bed as me, i have found my quality of sleep is a lot worse than when we were sleeping apart.

as long as you are both fine with the set up, i reallyu dont see an issue.

ask what you like

WHen ds was born, I slept in the spare room during the week for feeding purposes. dh took the weekends with a bottle. It lasted about a month, but we missed each other! It could be a temporary solution for you too?

is his nose ok?

dh had a deviated septum, quite common, had that mended, to cure his snoring, among other things.

not sure about his nose, he saw his GP a couple of years ago who told him to lose weight first ( I had been saying this for ages) which he did and the snoring got less loud/frequent but he had since put the weight back on.

I am convinved he has a form of sleep apnoea as he stops breathing for short periods and then does a REALLY loud snore, which will laways wake me if I have actually managed to get to sleep.

I am really startimg to resent him at night because of the amount of time he wakes me or keeps me awake, he always offer to sleep downstairsx but then I feel guilty for kicking him out of the bedroom

I owuldn't feel giulty

DH snores terribly sometimes, and I encourage hinm to sleep in the spare room.

Interestingly, when he is away (often away mid week ofr work), I sleep much better, and dd2, who frequently wake sin the night, rarely wakes up. I do think his snoring wakes her up too.

If dh goes to the gym, then he snores much less. Whether this is to do with the exercise, or the fact that he drinks large amounts of water, I'm not sure.

It has got worse as he gets older.

DH and I sleep separately for occasional nights when one/both of us has had a few sleepless nights in a row and needs to recharge our batteries. We always get back into same bed for a cuddle in the morning though before the day starts properly.

my DH sleeps on the sofa probably on average 5 nights out of seven (through choice) He says that sharing a a bed is too 'hot' and he snores like a train anyway - I never sleep well when he is in the bed. Not a great set up when you are ttc though

maybe one day we will have 'twin beds' grin

My dh is a sofa sleeper too - we have a large, squashy, incredibly comfy sofa which is just sooooo easy to nod off on... I sleep upstairs where my snoring () and dd's night time shenanigans () don't bother him so much.

Doesn't affect our sex life at all if that's what you're concerned about

DH & I slept in seperate beds for over a year until his sleep apnoea was diagnosed and he was given a CPAP machine.
It didn't affect our relationship it just meant I wasn't kept awake by his snoring and worrying

I have been sleeping in the spare room for 6 months, because DS wakes every 2-3 hours and always has done. He won't take a bottle so I nurse him back to sleep. DH is utterly foul when he doesn't get enough sleep, and my constant rising was waking him too. It's just easier all round to do it this way. Plus the spare room is opposite DS's room, rather than having to trek up and down the stairs to our room. (I'm not a fan of co-sleeping or having DS in my room).

In some ways I miss sharing a bed with DH but in others I secretly don't. No snoring, no nasty smells (!). No grumpiness when I have to get up for the third or fourth time. And the mattress on the spare bed is really good and it has an electric blanket

It's not doing our relationship much good but I keep reminding us both that this won't be forever. I am careful not to start calling the spare room "my room"!

Actually, that's not entirely accurate. I think that peace is in fact being preserved by me not getting cross at DH's grumpiness from being disturbed, which is A Good Thing.

I think I saw a study once that said that men sleep better if sharing the bed and women sleep better alone...

sm. i think thats true, certainly for me anyway!

I read that single women & married men live longer, hmm, wonder why??

Dh and I often sleep separately. He misses sleeping in the same bed as me more than I miss being in the same bed as him , supporting the study SM mentioned.

I LOVE sleeping in the spare room - the peace and quite, the dark, the lack of tossing and turning.

And i am so much nicer to everyone when I get enough sleep.

I have slept separately from Dh various times since we have been together and loved it. we both sleep better.
We now have no hesitation, if either of us has a cold or is poorly we go our separate ways at bed time.
I have never been able to cuddle to sleep so the fact that he isn't there doesn't bother me.