Really struggling with 7 month old 5am wake up

[Positivethoughts92]

My LO is 7 and a half months and for the past 8 weeks has been waking up consistently at 5am (it’s actually been before this around 4.30am a few mornings this week). I feel like I’ve tried everything so any tips would be greatly appreciated.
She has white noise playing all night, the room is pitch black all night, I have the heating on an app on my phone and it’s consistant the same temperature. It doesn’t seem to be hunger as she doesn’t take a bottle to 6.46-7am and is happy with this (she takes 3 meals and 4 bottles a day). She goes to bed around 7pm - 7.30pm (either of these times she still wakes up like clock work at 5am) and I can’t push this any later because from 6pm she’s so tired and cranky. She self soothes and gets herself to sleep.
At 5am I give her the chance to self soothe, then go in a comfort her but usually she’s too wide awake and has no interest. She bes smiling and kicking about but if I lift her and hold her back to sleep she snuggles in and sleeps immediately in my arms which makes me think she is still tired. I usually end up holding her back to sleep (because she has absolutely no interest in getting herself back over) then setting her back in cot and she will sleep for 15 minutes then I’ll continue this cycle until after 6am. I never lift her out of the cot to start the day to 6.30am as I don’t want to encourage her with the 5am wake. My husband does help but because she doesn’t be crying in the morning just making fed up noises or cooing and screaming away to herself he’s happy to leave her but then she bes totally exhausted all day. I stretch out her first nap of the day to 8.30 and she is exhausted by this stage. She has 3 naps a day first could be an hour an a half then 2 45 min naps in the afternoon - I stick to the 2.5 - 3 hour wake windows.
I was going to go to a sleep consultant but when I checked the tips they were putting up on instagram they seemed to be everything I was already doing so reluctant to spend over £200. She is happy in her own room since Christmas so I don’t want to regress to cosleeping.
Sorry for the long post. What am I doing wrong??

Hi, I work for a sleep coach and have written books about this. If she's not upset in her cot then leave her in there at 5am and do a dramatic wake up at preferred wake up time at 6.30.
Go in, open the curtains, good morning and all the lot.

Don't cuddle her for the 15 mins, let her roll about if she isn't upset. See if she will learn to resettle herself.

I had this exact same issue. I spoke to a sleep consultant and part of the problem was sharing a room and having breast feed just before, and straighter after, sleeps. However, the main thing which made a difference was actually putting her to bed 30 mins earlier. Over a few weeks, she gradually woke up later and later. Her bedtime is now 6:45pm and she wakes usually between 6-6:30am (it used to be 5:15am).

My baby often has a fairly wet nappy by 5 which must be uncomfortable. I change her then put her back to bed - though we do cosleep so it's slightly different. It's a LONG time to be in one nappy so maybe she would sleep again after a change?

However I agree with PPs that your baby is sleeping amazingly compared to the vast majority at that age!

Also for such a tiny baby she's doing a huge stretch by herself already so it may just be that by that time she needs some mummy time/physical contact to help her self regulate.

Definitely leave her! My LO wakes up 5am every morning, chats to herself for 20 mins or so then falls back asleep until 7:30.

also probably at 7 months she doesn’t need that last nap. Or at least it should be no longer than 15 mins

The main thing you’re doing wrong is thinking that not getting her out the cot till half 6 is going to make her realise that she needs to stay asleep until half 6! Their natural alarm clocks change all the time ! My diameter and son went through 5 am wakes, 6, 6:30 etc etc. I just went with it and now they’re 3 and 6 and sleep 7-7 every night without my having to force anything. Chill the f out

If she isn’t crying leave her to it.
Otherwise bring her into your bed and maybe once she falls back asleep she will sleep for longer.
Or drop to two naps, you will have to at some point and 8:30am seems so early for a first nap.

I was born and raised in a different country where kids go to sleep at 9 pm. 7 years ago I moved to the UK and I was surprised when I heard that parents make their kids to go to bed at 7 pm here while also complaining that they have to wake up at 4.30-5.00 am every morning.

Now when I have a son he goes to bed at 9 pm (sometimes earlier if he is exhausted) and he sleeps till 7.30 am.

My sister in law keeps saying how lucky I am to have a lay in every day because she wakes up at 4.30 am but when I ask her what time her kids went to bed she says 7 pm 🙄

🤨

Sounds like a sleep regression. You just have to power through them. I have friends whose little ones didn't sleep all night until 5 or 6 years old. Some slept all night from 3 months. Mine was 18 months old when he started sleeping through. Even then, that all goes to pot when he gets a cough or cold or some kind of illness. I have him with me when he's not well. My thought process was "when I was little and sick, all I wanted was comfort from my mum....what's different now I'm the mother?".

Another thought to your original post, (and this is my opinion though), I would NEVER IGNORE my little ones cries from bedtime to 7am (or whenever is getting up time in your household). Children CANNOT self regulate their emotions until they are MUCH older (5+ years old). YOU are their emotions regulater. Day and night. There's been a lot of research on this. I've working childcare for nigh on 20 years now. Nursery staff tend to answer every cry. Those children whose parents does this, and has nursery staff who do this, seem to settle better and enjoy being at nursery if they are emotionally fulfilled.

Yes, it's hard, yes you feel like you're continuously answer every whinge, and it will never ever end.......... but if a child knows that if they feel alone/scared/cant sleep/have night terrors or nightmares/aren't feeling well in the middle of the night, etc etc and they KNOW, without a doubt, you're there for them, they will cope a hell of a lot better as you, their emotions regulater, will help them and soothe them back to sleep.

Sorry for the long post, but from a point of view of a parent, and a point of view as a nursery nurse for nearly 20 years, children's emotions need your support, not suppressing! Adults seem to expect babies/toddlers to cope with large emotions. Most adults don't cope with normal emotions - why should small children be expected to?

@Shutthefrontdoor99 i haven’t read any posts here saying to ignore crying. People have recommended leaving her if she is awake but happy….

She's only 7 months and sleeps consistently for 9 -10 hours at night plus naps in the day? Thats awesome! My first 2 were dream sleepers,all night for a good 11-12 hours plus 1 or 2 daytime naps from about 8 weeks old. The third was a shock 😳 Didn't sleep all night til well over a year old. Anyway, all I'd suggest is try and cut back the naps, particularly in the afternoon and gradually make bedtime a little later.

My first went to bed at 8 and slept through until 6 from about 6 months. 2nd would sleep until 11 and then wake every 1.5 hours until 5:10am when she was fully awake until 30 min nap at 11am. Babies just have different clocks. If I’d done Gina ford with my first I’d have told everyone it was the perfect system and all you needed to do was be rigourous on times and baby would sleep through and be happy and contended - rubbish! What worked for us (and it’s bloody hard) was keeping a duvet downstairs, moving to sofa, putting tv on and lightly dozing while she crawled over us, pulled hair, gave kisses and generally was just awake.

20 years later she’s a happy, intelligent and well adjusted adult and I’m still traumatised by the memories 😁
can’t give you any advice really, just that this too will pass and it’s all worth it in the end

I used to feed mine half a weetabix half and hour before their last bottle, made up with some of the milk from the last bottle.
They both slept twelve hours x

My 5 year old was like that as a baby and still is today yesterday she was up at 4 ready to start her day it's draining! Xx

I would start to cap naps. The last nap of the day should just be a short Power Nap to see them through to bedtime, around 15/20minutes. Try that for a few days to see if it makes a difference 😊

I’d bring her into my bed and get an extra couple of hours together!

I’ve co slept with both of mine from a few weeks old. Daughter was a terrible sleeper and with us until she was 3 (even now at nearly 4 she still wakes up sometimes) son has put himself to sleep in his cot and slept through from 8 months (bed at 8pm, bottle when I go bed at 11ish then he wakes up 7-8am). My kids are absolute proof that whether or not they sleep is a part of them and out of our control!

Disagree with this. I always responded to my daughter overnight. She learnt to sleep on her own at 10 months. My son is 12 months and still wakes 2 hourly. He will learn in his own time how to sleep but in the mean time I respond when he needs me.
Please don’t spread false information as ‘facts’ to vulnerable sleep deprived parents just because it’s worked for you. Sleep is something all babies will learn to do when developmentally ready. This can be temporarily improved by sleep training but normally reverts back when teething/ next regression. The very minimal research there is on sleep training has shown that it helps in the short term but that children who are sleep trained are poorer sleepers long term, compared to children who aren’t.

Your first child didn’t sleep through until 10 months and you’re second child doesn’t sleep. My child sleeps.

Please don’t spread false information because that’s you’re experience.

For the OP, Here is a link to a paediatric sleep consultant, who favours sleep training. https://takingcarababies.com/sleep-training-tips
There are also many testimonies to support her approach. Hopefully, you can share some links to the research you mentioned above to further help the OP.

OP, whichever approach you decide I hope it works for you. 😊 good luck 🤞🏻

Your child sleeps because you’ve taught them their needs aren’t going to be met at “bedtime”. No point asking because mamma ain’t going to bother past a certain time. It’s nothing to brag about

Your child sleeps because you’ve taught them their needs aren’t going to be met at “bedtime”. No point asking for mamma because she ain’t going to bother past a certain time. It’s nothing to be proud of.

Wow, there are some judgemental pricks on this thread.

Anyway, @Positivethoughts92 , I know you said you don’t want to co sleep again but if you try leaving her to chatter happily and it doesn’t work, I’d just pick her up at 5am and bring her back in with you and then both of you can get some sleep. It’ll only be a phase.

I would do this especially as she's already had 10 hours solid sleep which is really good! I used to count anything after 5 as the morning as ds was an early riser no matter what time he went to bed. Have an early morning cuddle together and see if that works.

I’m not to sure why you think my child sleeps because their needs are not met. That’s a very bizarre conclusion. He goes down awake in his cot and puts himself to sleep, without crying because he knows how to.

There is a very big difference between teaching a baby to sleep and allowing them to practise self settling and attending to baby who is crying. If my baby woke up crying and needed me of course I would go in to him. I wouldn’t go and disturb him when his cries are short lived and he’s putting himself back to sleep. On occasion, when he wakes early morning, this cry is a soft low pitched noise very different to when he’s upset and actually needs me.

You obviously associate sleep training with crying it out. Well that’s what I am assuming from your reply. I don’t think your comment to me is helpful to the OP.

I’m not spreading misinformation as ‘facts’ 🤔 are you just parroting back to me what I said to you?

Children all sleep when they are developmentally ready. I’m not sure how to reason with you if you’re trying to imply that’s not true. Have you met a 12 year old with no underlying health issues who just can’t sleep because their parents didn’t sleep train?

My daughter is now 3 and still sleeps through happily each night as she feels safe and secure and knows we will respond when she needs us. My son will learn- he’s a baby who needs me in the night. And that’s ok.

Sleep ‘consultants’ (I laugh at that term) will prey on vulnerable parents to make money. As a doctor myself with no financial incentive, I can tell you it’s b*. Yes you get short term gains but you’re not meeting your child’s need.

ps. It’s your. Not you’re 👍🏻