Nearly 8 month old waking 8 times a night

[peonyjam]

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can encourage my 7 month old to sleep longer stretches at night?

For months he has woken every 1-2 hours. A good night is a 3 hour stretch. Very rarely do we get 4 and I feel like a new person the next day.

I've been feeding him back to sleep every time but this is becoming unsustainable and I feel extremely resentful that I am the only one who can settle him. He screams louder if my husband even tries.

I had hoped co sleeping would be the answer for us. I even moved our mattress to the floor. I usually end up co sleeping at least part of the night but it is not particularly restful for me as he wants to feed all night.

This is worsened by the fact that my nipple is damaged from his teeth and despite help with the latch it's not getting a chance to heal and feeding is often painful. He will not reliably take a bottle.

Ive had some recent success with setting him in the cot after a wake up. Previously this was not possible and he would just become hysterical.

I feel isolated and trapped and am just not coping with this level of tiredness / sleep deprivation any longer. I am often resentful and guilty all at once. My mental health is in the toilet and I feel total desperation sometimes.

I followed a lot of gentle sleep accounts on instagram etc but they have only made me feel guilty for feeling like this and wanting to change what is apparently normal. I don't know if I have it in me to do sleep training but I know I can't go on like this. I have tried to wait it out. I've tried to get a good nap routine. I've tried keeping him up longer before bed. White noise. More layers, fewer layers. Later bedtime. Earlier bedtime. Nothing seems to make a difference.

I am considering hiring a sleep consultant but I'm scared I'll have paid £300 to be told to leave him to cry. I'm desperate. Please help.

I feel your pain. What worked for us at 9 months was my husband taking a week off and doing all night wakings. It was two nights of hell and then he slept through. For us, it really was breaking a habit. But it will pass, whether that works for you or not.

Thanks so much for your response and sorry you went through this too. That does give me hope. Was it effectively night weaning that helped?

I'm a tad older than you OP and when my 3 were young it was all about controlled crying v the gentle methods. I tried all of the gentle methods and after starting to hallucinate through lack of sleep, I ended up doing the CC - 10 mins leaving, up to 2 mins comforting (or frankly leaving the room again if hysterical). The first night took an hour and a half, the second took 45 mins and the 3rd, 5 mins. After that I would do book, cuddle, kiss and then wave good bye, with babies waving back at me. Bliss, but a hideous 3 nights first.
My first one would wake every 45 mins, which is when he was coming out of his deep sleep cycle...they just need to learn to get back into it themselves. This one has to be up to you. x

It is so stressful when their sleep is so terrible. I have been there with both of mine and around that age separation anxiety can peak which makes the wakes up more frequent, especially if they are teething aswell.
I breastfed both of mine so know the feeling of loneliness and stress when you are the only one to be able to settle them. It can take time to make changes gently but have a look into habit stacking (Lyndsey Hookway has a brilliant post on Instagram about it),it won't be a quick fix though. It's not recommended to stop night feeds completely before 12 months but you can try and cut some of them out as you're feeling it's unsustainable.
I had an awful time from 8-11 months with DD and she woke hourly and fed back to sleep, it was really tough. DS wasn't as bad thankfully.

I follow some brilliant holistic sleep accounts that don't make you feel guilty for feeling down about your babies sleep. They also have lots of advice and tips on how you can make changes without CIO.
In my opinion sleep training is never needed as you can't train sleep, a baby knows how to sleep.

Have a look at the following, they all have cheap-ish guides on their websites and obviously you can book 1-1's, they all have brilliant posts that can help and lots of them have free guides on their websites which have been brilliant for me:
Little nest sleep
Second star to the right
Fox and the moon infant sleep
Lyndsey Hookway
Hey sleepy baby
Resting in motherhood

We were at breaking point with both my DDs by 10 months, when they were waking up at least 8 times per night. Sometimes they were waking again before I had even gone back to sleep. Leaving them to cry was the best thing I ever did. DD1 slept through after 3 nights. DD2 took a few nights longer. Couldn’t believe it worked so quickly, and we had suffered for so long…

Thank you so much for your replies. It is really hard to see the wood for the trees when you are this tired.

I think there might be some separation anxiety going on as often if my husband does go to him in the evening he will stop crying as soon as I enter the room.

I do need to do something as I'm just not a functioning human being at the moment. I have the fear that I'll be returning to work and be in the same situation.