4 months sleep

[sleephelpp]

Hello,

My 4 month old has started waking every hour during the night. He is also fighting naps during the day. We are really struggling with the lack of sleep and got in touch with a sleep consultant- she said she can help us improve night wakings (she says she doesn't use Ferber but gentle sleep training). I'm desperate to improve his sleep but wary of this sleep consultant- can she really help at 4 months or should we ride it out and go for controlled crying when he's 6 months?

Sleep changes a LOT at this age so I would imagine any sleep training would be a waste of time and a cause of stress for all involved.

I have a 5 month old and he's just stopped waking every hour and is now doing a few 2/3 hour stretches. I'm getting through it by co-sleeping some of the night and doing shifts with my partner. The only way mine naps is by rocking him in the pram, either out on a walk or in the hallway.

Thank you, it's good to hear that it has improved for you. That gives me hope! 😂

I did this at this age and I'm so glad I did. My now 2 year old has been an amazing sleeper ever since

@Yahyahs22 if you don't mind me asking, what kind of methods did you use to improve sleep?

Their sleep cycles change at 4 months so their wake-ups are different.
Sleep training isn't necessary and especially not a baby at 4 months. They all get there in their own time. Sleep is so up and down in the first couple of years due to development, teething, illness etc.

If you want people who are definitely gentle then try any of these on Instagram (even just to see how normal it is):
Little nest sleep
Second star to the right
Fox and the moon infant sleep
Hey sleepy baby
Lyndsey Hookway
Resting in motherhood

Not at all. I wouldn't let him cry for longer than 5 minutes at that age, I would go in and rub his head and leave again. I'm 3 kids down and convinced the 4 months sleep regression is learning how to fall asleep by themselves, we just have to help them with that skill.

@Yahyahs22 actually the 4 month "regression" is due to babies sleep cycles maturing and changing not because they need to learn to fall asleep alone.

A baby/toddler/child will fall asleep on their own when they are ready and not because they are forced to or taught, it isn't something you can learn.

I know you say it's worked for your children and that's great but you weren't setting them up with a skill, you were just teaching them that you were no longer going to respond if they cried.

My ds is 16 weeks tomorrow and we're going through the exact same thing. Things started to improve a couple of weeks ago where he had a few nights of sleeping until 6am 🙌. However the last week has been absolutely awful. Last night was the worst where he was literally waking every hour. Not for food but just fussing. I'm really hoping it's a phase because the lack of sleep is killing me. I have 2 older school age children as well and doing the school run is sheer torture with absolutely no sleep.

@Lizbiz89 I'm really hoping it's just a phase too 😩 I don't know how you're coming when you have two other children to look after, well done you! Sleep deprivation is so tough x

Don't be silly. You do respond when sleep training, just after a certain amount of time. We responded after 2 minutes, and the first night she was asleep in 12 minutes. By the end of the week she went straight to sleep.

I promised myself i would wait it out until 6 months when our baby started waking at least 8 times a night during the 4 month regression. We sleep trained at 6 months and 10 days and within a week she went straight to sleep, it only took 12 mins the first night. Our method is check and comfort them after 2 mins, then 2.5 so on up until 5 minutes recurring, but she never made it beyond the 4.5 minute window and that was only on night 1 of doing it, it improved dramatically night by night.

@teaandkittehs thank you, that is really reassuring. We're so close to 6 months so think I will hold out until then. I like the sound of the method you used,

Did you use a sleep consultant or certain method? I’m getting desperate…

@teaandkittehs that's great that it worked for you, it definitely wouldn't have worked for mine and probably lots of children as all their temperaments are different.

What did you do about night feeds? Lots of babies still need feeds overnight at 6 months until 12 months.

Yes, you responded but within time frames that you increased which again, isn't necessary. Sleep training (which isn't what anyone is doing no matter what method because babies know how to sleep) isn't required for a baby to sleep through the night.

But, I'm not getting into arguments because "sleep training" worked for you and was what you wanted but I don't believe it should be the normal pushed at parents who are struggling when the reality is that babies sleep isn't great. That's the message that parents need to be told, the realities of infant sleep.

@kernowpicklepie I can see you have an issue with sleep training, each to their own and your entitled to your own opinion.

However this is a thread asking for help and seeing what other people did to support babies to sleep better. No one is pushing sleep training, they are simply sharing their experiences which is exactly what I asked them to do. Yes it is a reality that lots of babies don't sleep brilliantly, but there is nothing wrong with parents seeking ways to improve their baby's sleep.

Just wanted to give you some hope as well- my DD is nearly 6 months, at 4 months her sleep went to shit, she had been sleeping through but suddenly started waking several times a night again. Now at nearly 6 months she's gradually improved to the point where sometimes she's sleeping through, sometimes she's waking once or maybe twice on a bad night. It's hard to see when you're in it but the sleep should improve at least somewhat over time.

Of course if you feel the need to sleep train, do it! And don't let anyone make you feel bad. The reality of the modern world is that parents can't necessarily just go for months on barely any sleep, people need to work, preserve their mental health etc. It might be worthwhile holding out a bit until 6 months or so though like you said, as things could improve on their own without you spending any money on sleep consultants.

@cinnamonbiscuit thank you, it really is so reassuring to know that it gets better. I've read stories about babies who's sleep doesn't improve for months and months after the 4 month regression 😩 so thank you for giving me hope x

Just the method i outlined, and we rubbed her belly while she calmed down (rather than picking her up) and left the room when she was calm again (didn't take long for her to calm down each time) and started the timer if she started to cry again. It was a method i read about, i didn't feel able to leave her to cry for long periods so it suited us well and worked well with our baby luckily

Our babies sleep was great actually. . . Once we had sleep trained her :)
She didn't need night feeds, we gave her all her calories in the day. But if they need night feeds then I guess you could. . . Hang on what do they call it again. . . Feed them! One wake for a feed is still better than 8 wakes because she couldn't go to sleep by herself. Each to their own, stop preaching 🙌 no one is pushing sleep training, they are merely responding to the original poster and their query.