Newborn will have only sleep on me.

[Mfo]

My 4 day old was born by difficult emergency C-section. It was traumatic, we thought he hadn't made it and part of my problem is how utterly anxious I am now.

He will only fall asleep if breastfed to sleep and he will only sleep on me. He will sometimes sleep on dad but it's hit and miss depending on how he's fed etc leading up to that - he can be really fussy and manic. Night times are therefore very long...! I am exhausted.

We have a next to me crib and a moses basket but when we put him in one he cries so much and gets extremely distressed. I end up picking him up after less then 5 minutes.

Looking for ideas and suggestions of how to handle this. I want him to be able to sleep in a crib so that I can sleep. Might not be for everyone but ideas must support exclusively breastfeeding and we are not interested in him crying it out, must be gentle. I am not interested in co-sleeping due to being a very restless and jerky sleeper myself.

Would love advice from people who have experienced similar babies and managed to change to a more sustainable routine. I know not every baby is the same and also that holding newborns is normal.

It's so tough isn't it? I put a hot water bottle in the Moses basket to warm it up before baby goes in- obviously take it out before putting baby in! I found Moses basket was easier to settle baby in than the next to me at first.

I also swaddle really tight and use a dummy- I ebf and a dummy hasn't impacted feeding.

Also notice differnce between crying and active sleep, sometimes I was picking baby up whenever there was a little noise but actually he wasn't crying.

If all this fails try and take it in turns with your partner and do shifts. You have had a c section so be kind to yourself- you are recovering too.

You've had a tough start! Really this is what babies do though, I think the main thing to try and do is stop thinking it as a problem and think of it as normal 4th trimester stuff. Baby will want constant feeding and will want to be as close to you as possible. We get fed a lot of rubbish about babies being in pretty cribs from birth and it really hasn't been my experience at all (both DC refused all separate beds for the first 18 months and woke hourly until 3 years old)

I think co sleeping is your solution, I know you don't want to but you also don't want to be awake all night shushing a baby who doesn't want to be in a crib. Look up safe cosleeping advice, get a onesie with a zip so you can feed and learn to feed laying down on your side. Also DH has to step up in the day as much as possible with housework etc to make sure you can sleep and rest more when you can.

This is totally normal. You aren't doing anything wrong. Your baby is in what's called the "fourth trimester". For any other mammal species at this stage of development a baby would still be in the womb but because of our large brains, and our habit of walking upright so our hips are less well-shaped for an easy birth, we have evolved to give birth relatively early. Don't try to cot-train your baby just yet, it's too early. Get a comfy sling and share thr baby-wearing with others so that you can get abit of kip yourself. In a week or two it will be different, babies change so fast. There isn't a "right" time or method that's going to guarantee sleep. It's hard but you get through it.

Firstly congratulations on your new baby! You are doing amazing to get to this stage and to be breastfeeding and being able to breast to sleep! It's still so early and your little one thinks you are still one person.

Take each day as it comes and be prepared for lots of contact naps and for other people to do stuff around and for you both. Encourage the baby to sleep on your partner to give you time to sleep but this will change and you baby will grow so quickly and change so much.

(My DS is 7 weeks old so those early days have been very recent for us).