Split nights and early wakes, no nap

[GinnyBee]

I’m not sure what I’m really looking for, perhaps just solidarity and someone to tell me this ends! My nearly 21mo stopped napping (much to my horror!) anywhere but the car about 4 weeks ago. First week we had lovely lie ins in the morning and it was brilliant, but after that trouble started! We’re now back to waking really early, 6.30 is a lie in now! And a few nights a week we’re also having split nights lasting anywhere between 1-3 hours! He doesn’t wake up upset for these, just awake and ready to play 😫

We’re having to put him to bed at 6pm latest, and it’s a bit of a rush with getting dinner done and changed and wind down etc normal routine, but doable. Any earlier is not really feasible, not least because he doesn’t seem hungry much before 5pm so he would have to skip dinner if I tried to get him to bed before 6. Can’t really push it later either because he crashes, and would just fall asleep on the sofa.

He goes to nursery 3 days a week, two days is 8-3 and one day 8-1. These days don’t seem any different to home days in terms of how tired or overstimulated he appears, he copes really well not napping in every other way except night sleep! He’s never cranky or anything like that. And when he naps in the car I haven’t noticed a difference in night sleep either 🤷🏼‍♀️ of course the car nap isn’t ever the same 1.5hr nap he used to have before he dropped it.

I wondered about teeth because this seems similar to what was happening when he was cutting canines, but I can’t feel any new teeth and I didn’t think second molars would come just yet.

Has anyone had anything similar? Did it end? Or did they start napping again and it was just a phase? What can I try (except bankrupt myself driving him to sleep every day, ha!)

DS dropped sleep similar age & never went back to having one. He wouldn't chill at lunch either. So was active 7am until late afternoon. Hardest part was if he fell asleep in the car & he would then stay up til 10ish. Childminder used to let him nap late afternoon sometimes & he would be up late. Luckily he did sleep all night.

Does he fall asleep in a pushchair too? Personally I think it sounds like he still needs a cat nap. Maybe even just 5/10 mins? Probably won't make him stay up really late even if happening around 3 in the afternoon. I would do this or just forcibly keep him up later.

I reckon your early bedtime and overtiredness are causing the split night. His body just thinks it's had a longer nap. A later bedtime would probably help. Mine's only ever had split nights in the scenario where he's in a nap transition and gone to bed too early.

Thanks both. I don’t know if he’d sleep in the stroller. He has done in the past, but where we live is very countryside and a bit hilly so I haven’t tried in a while because it’s such hard work and since he dropped the nap I’ve had covid and still recovering to physical activity. I will try though.

Yesterday he fell asleep in the car and slept 12-1. He’d been up 2.45-5.15 the previous night and then up for the day at 6 so no wonder! Bedtime was at 7pm and we didn’t have any wakeups (except some whimpering and tossing and turning around 10.30) and woke up for the day at 5.20 😴

I’m going to try a shorter nap today, we’re going to a park around 20 minutes drive away after lunch so he’ll have a chance for a cat nap in the car. Pray to every deity it makes him sleep in until at least 6 without disturbance 🤞

Sounds like the nap helped then. So I guess he needs roughly 11.5 hours of sleep per 24 hrs? Maybe aim for a half hour nap and 11 hours at night?

It sounds like he still needs a nap of some sort. Quick 20 mins might help.
My LO dropped his nap at 2.5 and he’s over 3 now and some days still has a nap but for the first 6 weeks he flat out refused…. I think it takes a while for them to adjust and condense the night time sleep!

We managed a 25-minute nap in the car today and he was asleep at 6.10pm. So far (it's 9pm now) he has wriggled about in his bed and waad and whimpered a little twice already, but hasn't needed us to go in. On a good night he never cries when he rolls around, even a little, so this makes me think he might have something else going on - a bit of a tummy ache, maybe teeth, maybe catching another cold? Let's see how tonight goes.

So I eventually had to go in and help him settle at 10pm when he had been rolling around and crying in his sleep for a few minutes and seemed like he was having a hard time. He calmed down quickly and I’m not sure he ever really woke up even when I went in.

He then slept all night and up at 5.40 so marginally better than previous morning 😴 it still feels like a long way to our goal of 6.30!

He goes to nursery today and my husband picks him up at 3. I might tell him to drive home the long way (it’s 5 minutes away) so he can have a couple minutes power nap.

5:40 is a very long sleep if he went to bed at 6:10 though?

I guess you could see it like that. I’m just thinking that 3 weeks ago he was still getting around 13 hours of sleep in 24 hours, and he’s now down to less than 12h.

Today he didn’t fall asleep until pretty much 7pm after getting 15 minutes nap in on the way home from nursery at 3.15 so as it was kinda late I’m very happy it didn’t push bedtime to like 9 which I was half expecting.

They're annoying with that constant changing aren't they 😉? Just when you think you have them sussed they change again.

Yeah it’s irritating! When am I going to have to start waking him and plopping his grumpy bum in front of breakfast rushing to get us out on time? 😂 I remember having to basically be carried straight from bed into the car to go to daycare

Yesterday we were up at 6 following the 7pm bedtime. We then head a home day, I had no reason to go out driving and it rained in the afternoon so couldn’t go out in the pan either so no nap. He was asleep at 6.15 and up at 5.15 on the door today, but slept through!

So it looks like he just likes to sleep 11 hours at night and the nap just helps getting to a later bedtime? His night sleep is pretty much the same as it was when he still napped 1.5 hours! His first week of not napping he was sleeping 13-14 hours overnight, but that seems to have fully stopped now.

So I guess we just need to adjust accordingly. If we can’t get a nap in then it’s best to go to bed early and expect a 5am start, and if we can get a cat nap in the day then we might enjoy a lie in until 6am 😅🙈😭😂

Ok, nothing matters. Day before yesterday he had 30min nap in the car and then slept beautifully 7-6.30. Yesterday he had 30min nap in the car, went to sleep at 7 and then was up 1-3 and woke for the day at 7 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh well. I’m sure he’ll sleep all day when he’s a teenager!

If you can time a car journey in the day for a nap I would. But I'd try to keep him awake till 7. Maybe start at six do some play together, then a bath, pjs, book. Aim for in bed by 7. Hopefully he might go till 6. I had to make 5 am the new 6am. But he just watched cartoons in bed while I snoozed.

7 is probably too early for bed after a nsp that day and the day before with a nap and 11.5 hours sleep. He probably needs 22-23 hours of sleep in 48 hours? I find mine will sleep less one day if he slept loads the day before.

Yeah at this point the calculation becomes too complicated 😅 we’ve had better nights and later mornings (starting 6 instead of 5!) now, both with and without naps, so I think I’ll just roll with it and whatever happens, happens.