12m Sleep habits and teething - help

[VerySleepy2023]

All advice welcome!
Due to a cocktail of teething and illness, our baby has become a screaming demon each morning and therefore we’ve slipped into 2 habits that we really don’t want to be in: 1) breastfeeding at 3/4am and 2) bringing baby into bed with us at 4/5am. i don’t know how we fix these, where to start, or when - ie do we need to wait for him to not be teething??

He’s inconsolable each morning until I feed him, and then the feed only placates him for an hour or so before he wakes again and we eventually bring him into bed. We are completely exhausted after 2 weeks of this, trying to balance it with work and wanting desperately to stop breastfeeding.

It’s 5am now and I’ve been listening to him scream for an hour. It’s killing me, my poor baby. Can anyone help?

Go and get your baby! Don’t leave him to cry for that long.

Fox sleep when he’s not teething.

Why on Earth are you allowing your baby to scream for an hour?

It’s not recommended to night wean before 18 months because they just don’t understand why you’ve taken it away.

There’s also a very good chance night weaning will not stop the night wakes; it will just make it that much harder to put him back to sleep.

Quite honestly if you only have 1-2 night wakes at this age, you’re very lucky.

Thanks for the replies! Not totally unexpected but nevertheless grateful for a reply. Would love to hear from voices on the other side of the spectrum too! :)

(PS we night weaned fully at 9m and it worked an absolute treat, he eats tonnes in the day and is the happiest boy especially after a full nights sleep.

PPS I am of course seeking answers so that I never need to hear him cry in the night! Nothing makes me sadder. We have tried all the versions of going in, cuddling, sleeping by the cot etc etc etc. - this isn’t leaving him to cry it out out of the blue!)

Would love to hear from voices on the other side of the spectrum too! :)

What side of the spectrum is that? The one from people who think it’s ok to deny their baby the comfort they desire and allow them to scream and scream and scream? You won’t find many of those.

PS we night weaned fully at 9m and it worked an absolute treat, he eats tonnes in the day and is the happiest boy especially after a full nights sleep.

Breastfeeeing isn’t just about food, it’s about comfort too. I think it’s awful you took that away from him so young. Waking up for a feed in the night absolutely does not mean baby is not getting a “full nights sleep”, because they’re not fully waking.

PPS I am of course seeking answers so that I never need to hear him cry in the night!

Excellent! It’s really simple: breastfeed your baby as is natural. That is what he needs. He isn’t being comforted by you cuddling/rocking/just being there etc. That’s why he’s screaming for an HOUR.

I night weaned DD1 at about 10 months, that’s fine if they’re good with it. But you do need to comfort them in some way. Just leaving them to cry on their own isn’t ok.

Woof, thanks for the judgement free help everyone haha… Teething is a tricky thing and I’m sure it’s a phase that will pass in time. I know my baby better than anyone and I think I’ll stick to asking real friends who won’t dive in with the shaming next time!

FWIW, if any future readers want to chat to someone who’s had good experiences of both night weaning and sleep training (outside of teething times of course), I’m happy to chat :)

Hi there, I haven't night weaned or sleep trained so can't help on those fronts but just thought I'd share that I've just been through the same with my 12 month old, also teething and illness etc but for us felt it kicked off after he'd had his 12 month vaccinations, it just seemed to really unsettle his sleep from 4am onwards and he was very upset. I think we're coming out of it now, 10 days or so later. We've just alternated feeding (feel your pain as I thought we'd managed to cut down on night feeds), and one of us taking him in another room in the early hours. The last couple of nights he's reverted to his normal pattern and last night only had one short wake up at 11pm. I know it's so hard in the moment but I'm sure (hope!) it will pass. I've found that we've never fallen into long term habits by responding to him as such, just gone through phases that do change. Such a rollercoaster managing all the emotions/tiredness/mental energy of figuring out what to do though. Hope you get some better nights soon.

@cossmoss Thank you so much for a very helpful and kind reply! So glad you’re coming out the other side of it, it really is tough, and hope we follow suit! X

Yes it's frustrating if you had eliminated night feeds. But as you said, he was happy with that and is now not. You said you have tried every other form of comfort and you want help, and also that he is in discomfort from teething. Leaving him to cry for an hour is not the better alternative. Just feed him, it will be temporary and then you can wean him again when he isn't so in need of your comfort. If he was accepting of being given comfort in another way, you'd have found that out already, so I'm unsure what you are hoping people will suggest?