Baby won't sleep more than 3 hours

[Dotty1000]

Please help with any suggestions...,
I'm exhausted and due back from maternity leave in a few weeks.
Baby is 9 months old has good bedtime routine goes down no problem.
She has 2 naps during the day between 1-2 hours again goes down no problem and wakes up happy.
Every single night she wakes about every 2/3 hours we put her dummy back in and she goes straight back to sleep.
She's perfectly capable of putting her own dummy in but won't do it during the night.
Have tried letting her cry it out but she just gets hysterical, stands in her cot and difficult to calm down.
Also she's in our bedroom but we don't have the option of her own room, any daytime noise/light doesn't disturb her daytime naps so not sure it could be that during the night.
Please any advice I don't know what else to try....
Also she's not hungry eats plenty and milk and hasn't needed milk during the night for a long time now

yeah I pretty much do believe the sleep industry is predatory - it’s entirely unregulated and of course they only tell you about the success stories. Of course their strategies help for some children. But not for all and I believe it is more to do with the child than with the parents’ actions.

if it’s as easy as doing what you said you did (which btw is what I did as well but he only slept when he was ready to, not as a result of what I did), then why do people feel the need to pay “sleep consultants”? Do you think they’re just too stupid to work out what you did?

it really baffles me that you think you must be doing something right rather than thinking you lucked out with good sleepers. Would you think the same if you had 3 kids that talked early? “Oh I must be doing something right and kids that talk late have parents that just haven’t worked out they need to sing and read to their child”. Note that for children struggling with eg motor skills or speech, there are licensed medical professionals such as physiotherapists and speech therapists - not an entirely unregulated industry of self declared experts…

I think the reason she knows is something she did and not temperament is because if you're amongst other parents that are pro-sleep training you see that if they put the effort and rip the band-aid it works, simple as that.

I didn't hire a sleep consultant because I researched and studied all the theory behind it, but I entered a facebook group on the subject to get some tips and share experiences, and yes, it pretty much works if you're up to it! It might be easier for babies with an easier temperament overall, so of course if you have a fussier baby it will take a bit longer and you might give up during the process, but it works.

Ive had FIVE.
All breastfead.
All now captains of industry with families of their own
So Ive got some knowledge.

my point is if the argument is - keep doing this and the child will eventually sleep better - where is the proof that without any intervention at all the child wouldn’t have slept better by themselves as it’s developmental?

it’s like saying - “if you hold a child up and make them stand/bounce on their legs for ten minutes every day, this will teach them to walk. It might take a long time, but it will eventually work if you don’t give up.”

obviously in all likelihood the child will eventually walk but it has absolutely zero to do with ten minutes a day bouncing.

i read everything possible about baby sleep too and tried different things - but i don’t claim that my actions resulted in him sleeping through. That seems completely impossible to prove.

I understand your point, but I am not talking about doing sleep training for months on end, I meant that an easier baby will get there in a couple of days and a fussier one might take a week or so, so it's not the same as waiting until they decide to sleep through which can take literal years!

I still reiterate that is not a bulletproof solution, baby will still wake up randomly by being too cold/hot/teething/or god nows why, but a self settling baby will definitely show a huge improvement on the number of wake ups because they won't be out of habit (in this case, the dummy).

I’m sorry but I’m not sure there’s much you can do!

You might just have to wait this one out.

It’s pretty normal tbh. In a few months she’ll start putting her dummy in herself without needing your help. Eventually, she’ll stop waking up so much at all.

I know it feels like it will never change, but it will.

sooooo….you say “I must be doing something right” and claim your actions got your child sleeping.

Someone else says “I must be doing something right” and claims that sleep is developmental and they just waited and it happened

and you roll your eyes at them and are sarcastic and make out that they are being smug??? But they said the same thing you did? Why can you say “I did this right and it worked” but attack someone else for saying “I did this right and it worked”??

i don’t believe reading and tying shoe
laces are anything at all like sleeping. I believe sleeping is more like crawling, walking, eating - parents can support but not actually teach.
but even if you believe differently, there’s no need to be all “well done you” like an arsehole.

I guess I just don’t believe that a week or two of “training” will help all or even most babies sleep. If it works for people, it works, I’m not stopping them. I just know that what nearly broke me wasn’t so much the sleep deprivation but everyone insisting that it was because I was doing something wrong. (It wasn’t).

Yes, it's confirmation bias.

Figured - old school parenting is now seen as out-dated and dangerous in some regards. Btw you also don't put babies to sleep on their front anymore. Please don't come and give bad advice

You don’t need to put up with awful sleep. 9 month olds should be able to do a longer stretch than 3 hrs. Wean her off the dummy, limit daytime sleep to 2,5 hours max so she has a sufficient sleep drive. We went cold turkey with the dummy - it takes a couple of days but then they manage to lose the sleep association quickly and settle on their own. Good luck!