Baby won't sleep more than 3 hours

[Dotty1000]

Please help with any suggestions...,
I'm exhausted and due back from maternity leave in a few weeks.
Baby is 9 months old has good bedtime routine goes down no problem.
She has 2 naps during the day between 1-2 hours again goes down no problem and wakes up happy.
Every single night she wakes about every 2/3 hours we put her dummy back in and she goes straight back to sleep.
She's perfectly capable of putting her own dummy in but won't do it during the night.
Have tried letting her cry it out but she just gets hysterical, stands in her cot and difficult to calm down.
Also she's in our bedroom but we don't have the option of her own room, any daytime noise/light doesn't disturb her daytime naps so not sure it could be that during the night.
Please any advice I don't know what else to try....
Also she's not hungry eats plenty and milk and hasn't needed milk during the night for a long time now

Please don't leave her screaming/to cry it out in her cot, cortisol rushes through their little viens (lots of studies on this) and this can also create unsecure attachment which can cause all sorts of issues later in life such ad anxiety (you may want to read on attachment theory).

Some people would say this is beyond anything they could hope for in terms of getting that much sleep with that little interruption at 9 months.

If you do want some help then something like Emily at Sleep Chief could help (not cry it out).

Please ignore this 'advice'

Exactly

Why do some people have kids? Like how can they be so ignorant to attachment theory and think its ok to completely and utterly ignore their tiny little baby during the night?

If sleep is THAT important you are never willing to interact with your baby during the night should you have kids (this is not for OP but the poster who advised to never interact)

I used a dummy clip on my little one’s sleeping bag. A proper, licensed one that could never be long enough to get wrapped anywhere or be dangerous. If they use it through the day for naps/when they’re allowed the dummy they’ll learn to find it themselves at night. Along with about 5 extras in the cot with them it reduced the get-ups for us!

Try dropping a nap? You aren’t alone my daughter also did the same when she was 9 months and it felt like it was never going to end.

This is totally normal, and she may still be looking for a night feed.

Also we all have needs and comfort is one of them and for some babies they need a lot more of it than others, even at night.

My son is 4 and still occasionally wakes up but regularly woke through the night until he was just past 3.

I’m with @Noathleisureplease on this. 2-3 hour wake ups is definitely newborn territory in my opinion.
If my 6 month old was doing this still I’d be on my knees.
Time to ditch the dummy as her sleep association. Replace with a comforter of some sort.

one of mine was like this. He never took a dummy just woke up screaming every 2-3 hours. It improved at around 13 months, it was when I stopped breastfeeding, he ate a lot more solids and started walking. Not sure how those events are linked.

it’s tough OP. Only advice I’ve got is to
the visits in shifts with your partner.

We solved the dummy problem with a special comforter from sleepy tot. You can attach 4 dummies and then the baby can put them back in their mouth more easily. We used to get up in the morning and dd would have a dummy in with the comforter over her face. It worked a treat.

This might not help, but I had a "good" first baby who slept through or only woke once a night from 4 mths. My second woke up every 2 hours from 4 months to 18 months. It's hellish and you must be shattered. Is there anyway you can-
Work from home (you'll be tired but won't have a commute to get up for), start slightly later in the mornings, use up some annual leave to give you a shorter week or mornings off? Also can you and your partner do shifts and sleep away from the baby sometimes to give one another a break?
Nothing really worked with my little girl, the dummy tot Teddy was really good (she has it to sleep now aged 5 without dummys). Also massive feeds as they can still need night feeds at 9 mths. They do grow out of it eventually, be kind to yourself and don't demand too much of yourself - sleep deprivation is literal torture so you've done well getting to 9 months!!

Never ever put the dummy in her mouth. You put it near her and let her do the rest, she’s 9 months; she knows where her mouth is. Do this during the day, at bedtime, at the start of nap time. Every single time. Until it becomes muscle memory. You give her just the one at bedtime, so she doesn’t lob them, then when she’s asleep, creep in like a ninja and chuck 10 more in the cot and it has to be 10, any less and we’d be woken up. Leave a very dim night light out, I favour the old school plug in ones. Also, it’s on the earlier side but she may be better on one long nap versus 2. My DS went to 1 at around that age, meanwhile his sister had 2 until 15 months- they’re all different!

I think I just co slept as its easier when they're still waking, breastfed a bit, both of us back to sleep really quick

This sounds pretty normal to me, I used to sleep near and have a stash of Dummies lined up ready on my bedside table as the little monkey (DS) used to hide them down the side of the mattress 😁.

Grab a dummy wander over keeping your eyes 95% shut and head back to bed.

I agree and it sounds absolutely hellish. I never understand why posters going on about how their child didn't sleep through until 8 is helpful or the expectation mums should sacrifice their mental health and be exhausted just because something is deemed normal. By 9 months, mine and the majority of people I knows baby was sleeping through with the odd exceptions.

Mine napped twice a day at 9 months but I made sure it was an hour max morning and afternoon. There's also loads of gentle sleep teaching methods out there too. We got help from a nursery nurse at our GP surgery which really helped. No leaving a baby to cry for extended periods or anything else that people seem to think sleep training is about. I also found just chill mama courses really useful too.

We persevered with a dummy and comforter too and found them really useful too.

Sorry no advice I'm afraid this sounds pretty normal they are learning alot of new skills right now so sleep regressions are a Part of that my 7mo is up every 2 hours aswell from 12 onwards ( he will sleep 7pm-12)
You aren't alone and it will pass

Well then, my baby wasn't "normal" 🙄 in fact my baby was much worse than this as she needed rocking / holding for about half an hour at least and putting down like a grenade when she woke. Yes, I was tearing my hair out, but my daughter just wasn't a great sleeper until she was about 18 months and now she sleeps through pretty much every night at 3. Trying to tell someone what's happening isn't "normal" leads to craziness trying to solve something that can't necessarily be solved. Sometimes babies just wake and that's it. Unfortunately OP has one that still likes to wake

Ho ho ho, well good job you didn't have my child. It is hard, it is tiring, but it is nowhere near newborn territory 😅 my daughter woke up more often than this and had to lay next to me 100% of the time to sleep for the first 6 months. Plus when she did wake I'd be up for at least half an hour if not an hour. I don't miss those days.

All those saying it's not normal just have no idea how hard some kids can be as little sleep thieves

Our 19 month old goes to bed at 8.30-9, and wakes up at midnight, 4am and 6am for feeds. At 6 months old he was waking up every single hour, and at 9 months it had got better, but it was still much more often than your daughter does.

I co-slept with his sister, our eldest daughter, and she was still waking up several times a night way past the age of 2.

I’d say your daughter’s sleep actually isn’t bad at all!

I had this exact problem with 10 month old DS. We dropped the second nap and now he’s sleeping 10-12 hours; waking once in that time. Rather than a 1-2 hour nap at 10am and 2pm, he has a 2-3 hour nap from 11am. He’s then awake from 1.30ish through to his bedtime of 7pm.

Have they recommended any treatments for sleep apnea. My 15 month old wakes every 2-3 hours and sleep apnea crossed my mind.

we are Waiting to go in for a sleep study then they will talk about removing both her tonsil and adenoids and that should hopefully help and she will be able to sleep. She is only 1- she snores so loudly and stops breathing a few times a night which is what is waking her up ( when she gets her breath back she gasps) it took so long to get this app as we kept getting brushed off being told ‘ she’s only a baby’. But I knew something was wrong. So if you’re unsure definitely get them checked. Hope this helps. X

Get the Ferber sleep training book.

Terrible advice

Mines is the same. She is 3 1/2 and until recently she was waking 3 times a night at best. We had a long stint of hourly wake ups that nearly killed me. @Dotty1000 I think you're lucky your DC sleeps. Honestly, it could be much worse.

its Helpful because as soon as people talk about it more and realise it is normal the easier it is to accept without trying to fix it. It also helps to show the op she is not alone, and plenty of
other people have been where she is and we all got through it, so she can too.
telling her it’s not normal is not helpful, because this is where she is. She can’t force her baby to sleep, and these tips may not help. In which case she’s then in a situation where her baby doesn’t have the comfort she usually would, and she feels she’s completely alone and she feels her baby is abnormal. When the exact opposite is true, her baby is completely normal and she is not alone.