I know you don't want him to cry, I didn't either with mine but got to breaking point when she was waking every 45 mins.
We did Ferber. It's where you put the in the cot and then leave but come back after 2 minutes but don't pick them up, don't make a fuss, just gently resettle them. Then leave and come back after 4 minutes, and so on and so on. Never leaving them to cry for more than a few mins. Working up the time. After a month of doing that my little girl started sleeping 7 to 6 and was a completely transformed child, so happy and well rested. Was sad doing it but so beneficial for her development to actually get some rest.
If that doesn't sound doable, could you try maybe just waiting a few seconds when he starts to stir? Not going in immediately? I think sometimes it's a learned response that when they cry mum is right there immediately. That seems lovely in theory but it's destroying you both and it really would do him some good to have a go at resettling himself, for both of your sakes.
Maybe sit on the floor of his room when he wakes, let him know you're there but don't interact too much, get him used to the idea that mummy is always there but break the habit of needing you physically every time he wakes up.
I wish you best of luck, it sounds like you're both having an awful time.