5 week old will only sleep on me day and night, how do I rest?

[Tommymummyft]

Hi this is my first post on here, looking for any tips or advice please.

My 5 week old has decided in the last week or so that he will only sleep on me or in the sling. We started co sleeping at night because he stopped settling in his next to me but now that doesn’t even work.

He is formula fed and at night will fall asleep whilst I hold him upright after feeding but as soon as I lay him down he grunts, strains and thrashes about as if he’s uncomfortable, the only way to soothe him is to have him on my chest.

i have a doctors appointment tomorrow in case silent reflux is the cause. I am just exhausted and don’t know how I can survive on zero sleep if I’m holding him all the time.

I hope I don’t come across as a naive ftm, just desperate for help
.
he also will sleep In the pram if I’m out walking but wakes the moment we get back to the house

Oh that’s tough!
good job you’re getting checked out by health professionals.
In terms of sleep there is advice (although not formally recommended) on sleeping with a baby on your chest. Look up happycosleeper and cosleepy on insta as both give tips on how to do this as safely as possible. You might want to research about doing this with FF babies as the advice is for BF. You can ask questions on happy cosleeper’s Facebook page and will get specific advice about this. Its very common for some babies to want to be on the chest.
If you can’t do the chest sleeping - have you tried a dummy? And what support do you have in the day? Can someone look after LO so you can get some rest? Can DP take baby in the sling for some of the night so you can go to sleep?
its tough but you will get through it x

I used to get mine to sleep in the pram in the hallway (white noise, put the hood down, put the front door mat or something on the floor so you’re going over bumps) then you can have a nap in the living room and still be able to see / hear them

and take turns with your husband

Shifts!

However you work it with your personal circumstances your DH needs to split shifts with you so you both get a decent stretch of sleep each night.

If they like the pram how about a pram rocker so you can nap in the day? Portable pram rocker

Another thing that worked for naps in the day was putting the bassinet in the bathroom with the shower on for white noise (you can get white noise machines but we were really poor) whilst I napped next door with both doors open.

Up agree with above if you have a partner you do shifts go to bed super early and then DH hands over about 1am

it is the worst and feels like death but you need a few solid hours sleep. For most babies it does get better but for now your little one is confused why they are not wrapped up in your body still so try to remember that your DC is scared and confused and this will pass you will sleep again but for now it’s long days and nights

@Brightandbreezey
Thank you for the tips I will look into that. I had considered trying to sleep with him on me as a last resort but scared it’s unsafe.
we use a dummy, sometimes he’ll take it but it doesn’t help him to sleep. When I try to settle him to sleep elsewhere he just fights it for hours, I can see he’s tired and seems to drop off only to wake again instantly 😫
my partner is going to take over tonight when he gets home from work so I can try to catch up a bit, trouble is I now feel almost past tired if that makes sense!

@MyLadyTheKingsMother
thank you, will try the pram rocker. We have white noise but it doesn’t seem to help him 🫠

My daughter went through a stage where only an electric swing chair would do for sleeping. I picked one up secondhand and sold it in later.

Mine liked the AmbyNest baby hammock instead of cot, but tbh, we co slept for the majority of these very early weeks. Shifts with partner if you have one. Hang in there, it is hard.

@PivotPivotmakingmargaritas
thank you, we will try shifts this evening.
It’s so hard to rationalise your thoughts when you haven’t slept. I was content keeping him on me during the day but the changes at night have completely thrown me.
Appreciate all the replies

You need to find the right kind of white noise 😂

DC1 loved the shower, DC2 a hairdryer (8 HR loop found on youtube)

not all white noise is equal!

Sorry if I'm saying something you already know, but do you burp him really well after feeds? Mine have both been terrible for burps, and it definitely stopped them sleeping - they seem to get over it somehow when sleeping on someone though!
It's just that you said he seems uncomfortable.
If you lie him on his back and gently shake the abdomen and listen, usually you can hear a sloshing sound if there are burps in there. Sometimes there are quite a few.

Having said all that, I did do the chest sleeping with my second. But that is a very personal decision and I'm not recommending it as such.

@motleymop
We do burp him but he doesn’t always bring any up. I think I’ve tried every burp position going! Also tried gripe water and Colief, I’m reluctant to try infacol incase he does have reflux as I’ve read that can make it worse. Thank you for the suggestion

Perhaps you could try laying them down on a jumper or shirt you have worn. It could be your body scents are the thing that is soothing them into sleep.

I don't think infacol etc make any difference so I don't think you're missing out by not giving it.
Oh yes, the burping. We used to do all kinds of wild manoeuvres.
Good luck. The newborn stage is shockingly hard, but you will get there.

You could be describing my son..he was exactly the same at that age. He ended up on omeprazole for silent reflux, but it didn't really make a difference. But he stopped all the grunting/straining and thrashing about when he was around 10 to 12 weeks old, which was when it became possible to actually get some sleep in the same room as him. Before that, my husband and I took shifts, one of us in the spare room and one of us with the baby, so at least we got a solid chunk of sleep each.

@snorlax99
sorry to hear the Omeprazole didn’t work but it’s reassuring to hear it’s not just us and it improved for you in time

It sounds reflux- I'm sorry to say it's a slog. I had one who didn't hardly sleep at all except on me, for months. I would have whole weeks of no sleep or 1 hour over 4 days, and then sleep all day on Saturday when DH came back from his work away. You do think you will die but you don't, it's mostly nausea after a certain point of exhaustion - and they do get bigger.
Don't be fobbed off. Get omeprazole and go private and try and get the antihistamine one as well. Get as much help as possible. Prop up crib, get a high slope sleep wedge, sleep with baby in a sling on you in a feeding chair, do whatever works.