Transition 10mo from cosleeping?

[BirbCat]

Hi!

Currently cosleeping with our 10mo. More accurately, we have a sidecar style cotbed which he's meant to sleep in fully, but he plasters himself to my side all night so it's more like sharing a huge bed (and I treat it as such for safe sleeping etc).

He has a lot of separation anxiety esp during sleep - he goes down okay at bedtime (I rock and sing him to sleep, then put him in the cot), but wakes a couple of times before we come to bed, and gets very upset if he senses me leave once he's asleep again. Once I'm in bed he has to be touching me to sleep.

I wonder whether he would sleep better if I wasn't there as an option, or would it be worse if I'm not there at all? I love having him close, and he loves it too, but my back is killing me from sleeping in a baby safe position!!

I honestly don't know what my aim is from here, or how to achieve it!

Do I put the side on the cot and try him in it fully? I'm scared of worse nights getting up to soothe him 😅 (plus we get him to sleep by rocking or lying with him, so I feel like getting used to a full cot would be really hard!)

Or we could look at a floorbed for him? He def prefers our mattress to his cotbed, so I wonder if he'd sleep better on a firm proper mattress. He can't walk yet but is a good crawler and stands well.

Or should I keep him as is for now and see what happens naturally? I don't want to rush us, but don't want to deprive any of us if we could be getting better sleep!!

(Whoops, sorry I went on so long. Any advice/similar stories welcome!)

I'm in the same position with my 16 month old. Keep saying something needs to change but to scared it'll be even worse. She is a terrible sleeper.

My eldest though when we were ready to stop co sleeping we just bought a double mattress for the floor. Worked well, I could comfortably lie there to get him back to sleep and it was easy to get out once he was asleep. But also easy to lie there, fall asleep and remain there for the night so... Might not be the best option for everyone 😂

I realise I've been no help at all here, sorry.

It's nice to hear from someone in the same position!!

The fear of it getting worse is so true, that's what's stopped me trying other options so far!

Haha yes I already struggle not to fall asleep when putting him down, a double mattress would be soooo tempting 😂 good solution though! Was it in baby's room?

In hindsight I wish we had gone for a big floor bed at this point. Instead with dd1 I spent all night in her room rocking and shushing her and never slept and with ds1 he co slept until about 3 which was ok until he started kicking us in the face

Yeah the more I talk about it the more I realise how common it is!

Yeah in baby's room. Took the cot out, completely pointless purchase lol and put the mattress in. Worked well and obviously is a well worth purchase and lasts as long as a mattress lasts.

@Sofabum That's good to know! I'm so scared of ending up losing more sleep soothing him in his room if I move him as is 😅 good to know others cosleep much longer too!

@bettynutkins It's so nice to feel like what you're doing is normal isn't it? Yeah that's a good idea!! Wondering now whether I get an adult size mattress and try it in his room, can move him back into the sidecar cot if it doesn't work... Worried about him rolling off a mattress but I guess I could just pad the floor out!

Our 3 toddlers were in there own cots from 8 months and never looked back. There 2 and 3 and been in cot beds a while now. Yes had to do the crying for a couple of nights but they got over it. They all have there own blanky and teddy bear they go to bed with which helped a lot

My thought was worst case if he fell out it would be a couple of inches onto some carpet but yeah you could pad it out a bit of put a pillow on the floor or something.