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Hysterics every bedtime

13 replies

alicelauraa · 18/01/2024 20:14

Title says it all really! My daughter used to sleep through the night from about 2 weeks old, then she had a bad cold and went straight from that into a sleep regression and then another cold. She's now 6 months and we've been doing bath, bottle (of expressed breast milk - she is current ebf), bed for the last few months so it's a well established routine. However she screams and screams every single night. It starts from after bath time when we get her dressed for bed, she calms down when she has her bottle then screams hysterically for anything up to an hour before she eventually goes to sleep after a lot of bouncing, shushing and usually ending with a breast feed just to calm her down. The majority of the time she will continue to wake up and scream every half an hour or so until around 11, then will sleep until maybe 1 or 2, wake up/scream and then go back down until 4 and repeat.
It's getting to the point where I am dreading every night because I can't stand her being so upset, I have no idea where to even start looking for help. We've bought some ready to feed formula to see if that helps although I know that there's no evidence to say it does fill them or settle them better but I'm desperate.
I feel so sad and desperate for help, am I allowed to text my health visitor? I have her number but only because she called me to arrange the first few visits, I've not seen her for months and am not expecting to until the 12 month check.

OP posts:
Brightandbreezey · 18/01/2024 20:21

Sounds tough OP!
Is there a reason why you express bottle feed? If at the end of it all she settles with a breastfeed why don’t you just do that to start with? Breastfeeding isn’t just about hunger it regulates and calms babies so I can see why it helps her settle eventually!
If there’s a reason obviously ignore me!

LightSwerve · 18/01/2024 20:23

I agree with the poster above, it sounds like feeding direct could solve the issue.

Perhaps she is hungry? Or needs comfort?

Silverbirchtwo · 18/01/2024 20:27

Can you breast feed have her in the bed with you? So she doesn't start to get so upset? I know that might not be possible or sensible for other reasons, but if she is close to you it may help.

CasaMundi · 18/01/2024 20:30

Is it possible the bath may be overstimulating her? Or started too late, leaving her overtired come bed time? I think if you are EBF the rest of the time and she is happy and gaining weight it is unlikely to be excessive hunger or a reaction warranting trying formula (unless of course you would like to). I would say if the routine is not helping bedtime, change the routine. Some babies don't do well with an evening bath. My only other thought is whether the bottle is causing gas... but that doesn't sound like the explanation if the crying starts before the bottle.

SofiaAmb · 18/01/2024 21:16

Might she have a heath problem? Like nappy rash?
Have you tried changing hey slurp fine for earlier? Look for eye rubbing and yawning.
Is she ok during the day? Any point during the day she cries similarly to night time?

alicelauraa · 18/01/2024 23:27

Brightandbreezey · 18/01/2024 20:21

Sounds tough OP!
Is there a reason why you express bottle feed? If at the end of it all she settles with a breastfeed why don’t you just do that to start with? Breastfeeding isn’t just about hunger it regulates and calms babies so I can see why it helps her settle eventually!
If there’s a reason obviously ignore me!

I express for one bottle a day just because I feel so touched out at the end of the day and it gives me a bit of a break, which I realise is probably quite a selfish reason but it worked for us for a good while until now :(

OP posts:
alicelauraa · 18/01/2024 23:32

CasaMundi · 18/01/2024 20:30

Is it possible the bath may be overstimulating her? Or started too late, leaving her overtired come bed time? I think if you are EBF the rest of the time and she is happy and gaining weight it is unlikely to be excessive hunger or a reaction warranting trying formula (unless of course you would like to). I would say if the routine is not helping bedtime, change the routine. Some babies don't do well with an evening bath. My only other thought is whether the bottle is causing gas... but that doesn't sound like the explanation if the crying starts before the bottle.

I've wondered the same about gas - the reason I express for one bottle a day is just because I feel so touched out by bedtime that I just need a break. But she absolutely gulps it down. However if I were to just breastfeed her at bedtime, she latches and unlatches screaming in-between until she eventually sleeps, so it doesn't really go away either way! That sounds a bit refluxy now that I've written it out but I really don't think it is, it's literally only bedtime that this is an issue.
She loves her bath, but maybe you're right!

OP posts:
Mimami · 18/01/2024 23:38

Call the health visitor if you are concerned. Maybe it's just normal crying? Many babies do that for months, some for years. Is baby also screaming during the day? Are they in their own room? We had to get a cot attached to the bed. The fact they slept through before doesn't mean they always will!

Tired6789 · 18/01/2024 23:55

Is she teething?

CasaMundi · 19/01/2024 07:40

Have you watched some paced feeding videos? It's probably not a good idea to let her gulp down a bottle as this really may cause excessive gas.

MrsPatrickDempsey · 19/01/2024 08:12

What is her day time sleep like? She might be overtired.

Brightandbreezey · 19/01/2024 12:14

alicelauraa · 18/01/2024 23:27

I express for one bottle a day just because I feel so touched out at the end of the day and it gives me a bit of a break, which I realise is probably quite a selfish reason but it worked for us for a good while until now :(

I get the touched out feeling and I’m not trying to force you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with but is there another time in the day where you can express and get that break?
Breast milk at night has melatonin and other sleeping inducing good stuff in so it’s worth breastfeeding to sleep for those benefits. As well as being comforting and relaxing for the baby too.
Again if it’s not for you ignore me but might be worth changing your routine slightly (expressed milk a different time of day) in order to help her sleep?

https://parentingscience.com/breast-pumps-and-baby-formula/#:~:text=Breast%20milk%20pumped%20at%20night,that%20makes%20babies%20more%20alert.

Melatonin and breast milk: Why "night milk" is better for infant sleep

Morning breast milk is high in cortisol. Night milk is higher in melatonin. So feeding babies "mistimed" milk might cause sleep trouble.

https://parentingscience.com/breast-pumps-and-baby-formula/#:~:text=Breast%20milk%20pumped%20at%20night,that%20makes%20babies%20more%20alert.

LightSwerve · 19/01/2024 12:17

alicelauraa · 18/01/2024 23:27

I express for one bottle a day just because I feel so touched out at the end of the day and it gives me a bit of a break, which I realise is probably quite a selfish reason but it worked for us for a good while until now :(

I understand the motivation but it sounds like the ordeal of bedtime with bf-ing at the end is worse than just bf-ing in the first place.

You could switch the bottle to a different feed to give yourself that break.

It changes all the time.

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