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Original poster

Can't sleep, help!!

11 replies

ftmpleasebekind · 15/01/2024 06:44

Help needed!
I'm a first time mum to a little girl who is 3 months. I have been very lucky that she is a great sleeper and normally goes down about 9pm wakes up for a feed 5/6 then straight back down till 9am.

Problem is I just can't sleep! Me and my husband normally go to sleep about 10:30 and I start the night off great, I'm out like a light. Then it hits 1ish and that's it I'm awake. I then lay there with my eyes closed trying my best to sleep. It doesn't help that my little one is a very active sleeper and from about 3ish she is banging her legs and moving about. When she woke up for a feed tonight she had managed to turn herself 180 degrees. So I just lay there listening to her move about and my husband snore. I might drift off for half hour now and again during the night if I'm lucky if they both stop making noise at the same time.

Also my little one loves a half hour nap so it's not like I can get my head down during the day.

Has anyone else gone through this or is this somthing that will just get better once she is in her own room and I can't hear her moving about.

I'm finding myself after a few nights of this just being very on edge, crying and not being able to cope.

Any advise/tips would be amazing xx

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 15/01/2024 07:55

Firstly, go to bed when she does, you’ll get an extra 1.5 hours that way.
Are you BF?

Boonmoon · 15/01/2024 07:59

Try the headspace app for sleeping, the sleepcasts really helped me. I listen to them every night to drop off then again when if I wake in the night. It sounds like you’re on high alert then there’s too much going on in the room to get back to sleep, so this might help distract you. I’m not sure going to bed any earlier would help as it’s not like the lack of sleep is due to the baby waking.

Original poster
ftmpleasebekind · 15/01/2024 08:11

DustyLee123 · 15/01/2024 07:55

Firstly, go to bed when she does, you’ll get an extra 1.5 hours that way.
Are you BF?

I have done that a few times just to see if I could get a few hours extra to start with but I can't drift off any earlier sadly. No she is formula fed.

OP posts:
Original poster
ftmpleasebekind · 15/01/2024 08:14

Boonmoon · 15/01/2024 07:59

Try the headspace app for sleeping, the sleepcasts really helped me. I listen to them every night to drop off then again when if I wake in the night. It sounds like you’re on high alert then there’s too much going on in the room to get back to sleep, so this might help distract you. I’m not sure going to bed any earlier would help as it’s not like the lack of sleep is due to the baby waking.

Thank you! I will download that tonight and see if it helps at all. I did think of earplugs just to drown out the background noise but a podcast seems like it would work better

OP posts:
Original poster
ftmpleasebekind · 15/01/2024 08:24

Sorry forgot to add my husband will get up and feed her in the night but I still just lay there awake.
He did take her on Saturday morning at 5:30am to feed her and said he would stay downstairs with her so I could get some sleep. Didn’t have the heart to tell him I didn’t get any

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 15/01/2024 08:25

Do you have a spare room to go in?

Original poster
ftmpleasebekind · 15/01/2024 08:32

DustyLee123 · 15/01/2024 08:25

Do you have a spare room to go in?

Yes we do but we are just waiting on a bed being delivered. Fingers crossed by the end of the month. I did think of trying to sleep on the floor the other night in there Grin

OP posts:
Happyhappyday · 16/01/2024 04:07

Yes. I absolutely had this and it was horrible. DC slept 7-7 from 8 weeks and I had terrible insomnia. Mine turned out to be related to hyperthyroidism (bloody NHS didn’t help at all, and it wasn’t until we moved to the US that the dr figured out what was going on), it caused insomnia and anxiety. It was just normal post natal fluctuation and eventually resolved, but by the time it did I had terrible anxiety about sleep. I ended up doing CBT for insomnia, taking some medication and doing sleep restriction - not spending too much time in bed so much sleep consolidated.

If I were you I would move you or baby to own room and agree with DH that he’s 100% in charge, it helped me to KNOW I didn’t have to get up, it dealt with some of the anxiety. I also found a medication that knocked me out, knowing I could take it, meant I almost never needed to because it again relieved the anxiety.

Check out CBT for sleep and get your thyroid checked.

Original poster
ftmpleasebekind · 16/01/2024 04:47

Happyhappyday · 16/01/2024 04:07

Yes. I absolutely had this and it was horrible. DC slept 7-7 from 8 weeks and I had terrible insomnia. Mine turned out to be related to hyperthyroidism (bloody NHS didn’t help at all, and it wasn’t until we moved to the US that the dr figured out what was going on), it caused insomnia and anxiety. It was just normal post natal fluctuation and eventually resolved, but by the time it did I had terrible anxiety about sleep. I ended up doing CBT for insomnia, taking some medication and doing sleep restriction - not spending too much time in bed so much sleep consolidated.

If I were you I would move you or baby to own room and agree with DH that he’s 100% in charge, it helped me to KNOW I didn’t have to get up, it dealt with some of the anxiety. I also found a medication that knocked me out, knowing I could take it, meant I almost never needed to because it again relieved the anxiety.

Check out CBT for sleep and get your thyroid checked.

I will have a look into this also.
I know what you mean about the anxiety. After a few nights of not sleeping my brain will not switch off, just constantly firing off things I've got to do. What would happening in this situation that hasn't happen. Thinking here comes another night of no sleep, which works me up even more. I get really restless too, can't sit down.

OP posts:
Boonmoon · 16/01/2024 10:19

How was last night? Did you try headspace? I’m like you with the anxious brain that can’t switch off, it’s like crazy chatter in my head with all these ridiculous scenarios! But I now make myself to listen to the sleep casts (which are calm stories designed to help you sleep) and often drift off listening to those. I don’t have that ‘now I won’t sleep feeling’ either now as I know that the sleep cast can get me to sleep!

Original poster
ftmpleasebekind · 16/01/2024 21:12

Boonmoon · 16/01/2024 10:19

How was last night? Did you try headspace? I’m like you with the anxious brain that can’t switch off, it’s like crazy chatter in my head with all these ridiculous scenarios! But I now make myself to listen to the sleep casts (which are calm stories designed to help you sleep) and often drift off listening to those. I don’t have that ‘now I won’t sleep feeling’ either now as I know that the sleep cast can get me to sleep!

Yes I did. I still had a bad night but I do think it will help if I keep going with it. Reminds me of ASMR. Thank you for the tip x

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