Savage 5am wake ups - please help!!

[Emalouise25111]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been up since 430am trawling through the internet trying to find an answer and feel as though I’m going mad!! Would be grateful for any advice …

I have a 1 year old (in two weeks!) son who consistently wakes up at 5am ish miserable and still shattered. 50% of the time I can get him back to sleep until 6-630 after a bottle of milk and a cuddle, but I rarely get back to sleep myself. I’m back at work now in a fairly demanding job so I’m finding this really challenging.

From my research a lot of the advice is to move his bedtime earlier, but it’s already between 6-630 so this doesn’t seem like the solution.

Nap wise he generally has a long one (1.5 hours) in the morning until 1030ish and then the trouble is that he won’t go back down for his second nap until 230/3 which I think is probably too late as it means his second wake window isn’t long enough.

I’m willing to try anything but have no idea where to start. Should I drop his second nap and try to encourage a long midday nap instead by extending his morning wake window? Or do a later bedtime?

My mind is boggled by all the undertired/overtired advice and I’m just hoping there is another mum out there who may have experienced something similar!

xxx

The long morning nap is the problem here. Too early and too long. Sign up to some morning play groups and allow him to sleep in the buggy/car on the way, limit it to 30/45 mins max. Then he will be ready for a decent nap at 12:30/1ish. Otherwise push the morning nap up by 10 minutes a day until it is starting at 11 ( wll take 12 days). As per tip 3 here ( only thing that worked for DS)

https://justchillbabysleep.co.uk/2021/03/23/is-your-baby-waking-up-too-early-these-tips-can-help/#:~:text=Consider%20gradually%20reducing%20nap%20length,as%20they%20need%20come%205am.

You need to start transitioning to one nap. Also the first nap is too early and too long which is reinforcing the early wake.

here is the routine to drop to one nap

5am wake - try not to go to him at all until 6am. Not for milk, cuddles, nothing. If he is howling the house down then give the milk to him in the dark and exit the room. Zero interaction.

From 6am - up and milk (if hasn’t already had it)

8am - breakfast

9.30-10am nap 1, max 30 mins, awake by 10 no matter what. You are aiming to drop this nap all together by around 15 months.

10-12am get outside in the fresh air and have a small snack eg 1/2 banana

12 noon decent lunch including plenty of protein and a full fat Greek yoghurt for dessert

12.30-2.30 nap. This should be two hours or even 2,5 hours. Must be up by 3pm

3pm snack (no bottle of milk any more)

5pm dinner, carb based not too much protein

6pm bath

6.45pm milk

7pm lights out

I never cracked it, whatever it was that caused my two to wake at 4/5am. They just grew out of it and now the youngest is 3.5 it's a distant memory. We just took turns getting up with them and I drank a lot of coffee.

The key thing for us was making sure the toddlers stayed in their room even if they did wake - get the gro clock, keep the stairgate on the door, we bought a great big clock for the wall of their bedroom and taught them what 7am looked like. And after working at that for a long time, now we never get woken earlier than 7.

Sorry OP!

Move bedtime later. That’s a really early bedtime for a 1 year old. My 17mo goes to bed 7.30/8pm and gets up around 6/7am (usually 6). He naps for two hours in the middle of the day

Check out Lyndsey Hookway on Instagram. You might be trying to get your son to get more hours of sleep than is actually realistic for him!

Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to reply! Lots of think about and really grateful for the advice! Xx

If bed time is 6- 630 theb you're doing really well!

The morning nap sounds too long. my 15mo still has 2 naps but he's always only ever had 2 30 min naps 😭 6-630 isn't too early as mine goes down then and is up at 6. Hopefully you find a solution that works. Solidarity, I know how awful those 5am wakes are, mines only recently started sleeping through the night

Yes this, if you really want to crack it.

Definitely drop the second nap. Good luck x

I don’t agree with moving bedtime later. You need an evening and 6pm-6am is 12 hours which is ideal for them. I’d drop the second nap and do a late morning one instead.
Moving bedtime later might just end up in him being overtired and sleeping poorly/struggling to get him down.

Having said that, it’s always a hit and miss with my DS. Somedays he’ll sleep 6pm-7am and other days he’ll be up at 5am too.

I'd move bed time later and see what impact that has on their morning wake time, before making any changes to naps.

Average total sleep needs in 24hrs for this age are 11-14hours and you are aiming for 12hrs+ of overnight sleep plus naps - to me this is the problem. Our routine at 13m is wake 6.30, nap at 9.30/10 ish for 30nins to an hour, then another nap at 2.30/3ish, this one is usually only 30 mins especially if the morning one was an hour. I won't let him sleep past 3.30. Bedtime at 7.30/8 - he doesn't sleep through but has one wake and then wakes naturally at 6.30. Sleep training culture advocates a 12hr night and early bedtimes but research has apparently shown that most babies actually average 10-11hrs of overnight sleep, and 11-14 overall in 24hrs so he's simply waking up once he has had that. I would definitely push bedtime later and stretch his awake time to facilitate that. Either have 2 naps capped at 2hrs total and ensure the first one isn't too early, or move to one long nap at 12 ish.

Unfortunately some babies just do this. My two older boys were ok-ish sleepers and I'd be able to function the next morning. My younger however woke multiple times a night until she was 3.5 YEARS old she just didn't seem to need as much sleep. I had many day in work were I literally had an hour sleep and was beyond exhausted.

Fancinating do you have links ?

The pp's suggested schedule is what we worked towards when the 5am's started. Worked well to keep the 9-9.30am nap to 15-30 mins, usually in the car or pram so we had reason to wake up. Then longer nap after lunch and bedtime around 6.30/7.

From reading here and listening to friends, all babies go through this 5am stage but hopefully it won't last too long! Now my child is 5 and it's just on the odd occasion - usually when I've been out or could really do with the sleep of course!

There’s a bit of science to baby sleep…it’s not all luck 😉

I think @LapinR0se has read the same stuff I've read and it has worked very well for me! Follow her post word for word! Good luck. Also start to look towards dropping that morning nap completely, think mine did by about 15 months.

@LapinR0se That was my schedule almost exactly! 😂 I did get out for fresh air after the afternoon nap, (always got them up at 2.30)
We went to the park, every day. There's lots of research about babies sleeping better if they have fresh air and sunlight.

One of them got up at 6am forever, but that's much more doable. I would get him milk, me a tea and he snuggled in bed with me.

Mine went to ged far later 8/9pm and d sad kept until 8am. They also didn't have set naps. The issue with rigid schedules is that when it doesn't suit you it's hard to change.

Yes 6am is considered a morning wake. Anything prior is a night wake

My DD was waking up around 5am for ages when she was around this age. I just kept her awake and started the day even though I was tired. 3.5-4h later she was ready for her first nap and then a quick 2nd nap in the afternoon.

Agree with this, except protein at dinner (but not red meat as this can keep them up). Good luck. The naps are the problem.

I feel by 1 he probably only needs 1 nap now after lunch. Might be a longish one but I feel that could be your answer

I will add he may just be an early riser, mine was and still is. We had a 6.30 bedtime naps weren't late. He just woke at 5 and did so until he was four or so. Now he is still wide awake at 6 am, occasionally he sleeps later and he's almost a teenager. So if you try the suggested changes and it still doesn't happen then learning acceptance of 5am is the best way forward!

So so grateful for all these replies - thank you everyone! We have decided to move forward with one longer nap at lunchtime as per some of the posters’ suggestions! He never has both naps at nursery anyway so this seems like the best option. Yesterday he slept 3 hours from 12-3! :)