2.5yo bedtime - is anyone getting it right?

[growglass]

Hi all. I’ve looked through the forum and can’t find anything like this.

I have a 2.5 year old who still naps and bedtime has been a major struggle. Tried a bunch of stuff. Naptime is easy peasy, bedtime takes aaaages. I’ve almost resigned myself to struggling until she stops napping but partner says there must be something we can do. We’ve tried asking around, and actually haven’t heard a single success story. Everyone at nursery, friends, nct, is having the same struggle.

So my question: does anyone actually have a 2.5 year old who still naps, who also goes to bed easily and sleeps well?

I feel like anyone on this forum is probably also struggling, but has anyone even heard of such a mythical creature?

If you have, please tell me all you know about their timings/routine.

I think what it is is they naturally drop their nap around this age so it takes awhile to settle back (I'm hoping it's a short, shitty phase. Bedtime is now a pain!).

The key is curtailing the nap. She's napping too long if bedtime is a struggle. Wake her up, you might need to cut it right down to half an hour

There's no right.

Yesterday I did exactly the same thing as today, yesterday went to bed at 7 and didn't wake until around 12 (this is a good stretch for him he has never slept through the night)

Wake up and nap was the same to the minute, and today he went down at 6:30 saying he was tired, woke up twice 20 mins apart and is still up now.

It feels like he needs to drop his nap, but he couldn't get through the day without it, he gets so grumpy mid morning.

Sending solidarity and lots of caffiene.

Hiya, just wanted to give sympathy as I'm in a very similar boat....my daughter is 2yrs2mths and her sleep is awful.

She has recently come out of a cot into the toddler bed (not by choice, for safety reasons as she took to perching on the edge of the cot!) she is also sometimes sleeping through the night now.
Since those have both happened, settling her to bed has been a nightmare.Even on days where we don't give her a nap, we are having 9pm bedtimes!! She doesn't stay in bed and just stays up playing in her room, even with the lights off and an audio book to try and settle her.
Tonight she breastfed to sleep at 7.30, but then was suddenly wide awake again when i left the room, and is still up now!
DH and I are pulling our hair out some evenings at the minute, especially with a 6yo too who can be tricky at bedtime also.

Sorry I don't have a solution but just wanted to say 'I'm with you'!

It's the nap. It has to go! I'm in the same situation with my 2y9m old. He'd sleep for 3hrs in the day if I let him then struggle to go to bed then start the next day at 5am. We've had some success capping the nap at 40 mins although not entirely consistent. A few times he's managed to power through the whole day with no nap, been in bed asleep before 7 and then still up early the next morning. I remember with my daughter it was a long and painful process dropping the nap and getting a balance. Solidarity!

Mine is older now and haven’t quite gotten there with the youngest. But for the love of god just stop the nap! As soon as my eldest started monkeying about at bedtime we stopped the nap and all was well again.

20m nap. Not 30m, as they go into a deeper sleep. Think power nap. Our nursery team suggested this and enforced it and it worked well up until he dropped the nap entirely.

What's actually happening at bedtime?

I do have this mythical 2.5yr old, OP. It’s not down to parenting or any special hack. It’s pure, pure luck. We do dinner then pajamas at 6pm, then upstairs to bedroom for a story, song and a kiss. I close the door. She goes to sleep. She wakes up at 5.30am full of beans.

She still naps some days, others not. It doesn’t make a difference.

Our elder child we had terrible trouble with at this age. We were still lying down next to her for hours etc. Our parenting was no
different. But some people have made big bucks pretending it is all about the parenting! Making you feel like you’re doing something wrong.

One day it’ll get easier.

If it makes you feel better, I didn't have that at 2.5, but now DS2 is 3.5 bedtimes are perfect and have been for a while. You might just need time.

We read some stories on the sofa on their room, then tucked in, maybe another chapter of a story book while they're both in bed and then Yoto. I say goodnight and leave. Perhaps one a week DS1 comes down to tell me about loom bands or something and I send him back up. That's the extent of the messing around.

What time is nap time?

Nap shouldn't go past 3pm (ideally starts around 1pm) and probably last 40min to an hour at this age, if that helps OP

DS is 2.5 and barely naps now. He goes to bed at 7pm and falls asleep within mins and doesn't wake until about 7:30am the next day.

He started refusing the nap at nursery, then at grandparents and so we know he doesn't necessarily need it now as he functions fine for a whole day without it. We do sometimes try to pop him to bed for max 1hr for a nap at the weekend and he may doze off then, but otherwise it's usually 6 days with no nap and 1 day napping per week.

Da is nearly 4 and still naps on non school days.

I never understand the whole "they're too old to nap". I honestly believe adults would benefit from a mid day nap😂

Could you bring it forward or cut it down shorter?

Or are they being stimulated enough during the day? Getting lots of exercise and fresh air etc?

Dd is 2y 1m, sometimes naps, sometimes doesn't but always has quiet time in her bedroom between 1pm and 2:30pm if at home.

She then goes to bed at 6:30pm and i don't hear from her until morning usually.

I thought this was normal but could just be our child. I have no one to compare her to.

Depends on the child ds2 slept for 2 hours sometimes more on the after on at that age and went to bed great. My ds1 did when with me but he had nursery 2 days a week and they didn't nap them so I think the balance of a ok en days a nap and sleep not helped us keep the nap longer and still have good bedtimes. We kind of have the same in reverse with ds2 now 3, he sleeps for childminder twice a week but only if in a car the rest of the week. No napping after 3pm for either and bedtime about 6.30 after bath and stories. Not sure if it helps at all but I s in hon on the key for us was not to nap every day.

I have that mythical 2 year old. Well, she's actually going to be 3 in March, so a bit older than yours. She naps for 2.5 hours in the day, and does 12-13 hours at night. Yes I believe she has a high sleep need which undoubtedly helps, (even with that level of sleep she is so overtired and wired just before naptime and bedtime), but I mainly give credit to a groclock enforced with an iron fist since she was just under 2. Her sleep was awful until we had a structured way to show her when she was allowed out of the cot. I've never understood people on here who claim they don't work, or that their little one simply turned it off - stick it on a high shelf and refuse to let them out of their cot/room until the clock says it's wake up time. Works for both nighttime and naps

Thanks all, really interested to see there’s so many saying to drop or cut nap!

She’s desperate for her nap every day atm so we can’t go without entirely. (Have done a few times when travelling over holidays, total disaster.) @justthatperson We do wake at 2.30 pretty much no matter what. She’ll sleep an hour and a half if we don’t interrupt, which is what online sleep guides still say is good but maybe that is the issue.

@katmarie we do dinner, one episode of something calm while we tidy up, bath, pjs, 2 books and milk, bed. Couldn’t be more bog standard I think. The weird thing is she lies down so nicely, cuddles her teddy, clearly trying to go to sleep, but sleep just doesn’t come it seems. So it’s not an issue of being overexcited or mucking about or anything.

Thanks so much all, and I’ll report back if I have any luck.