First night at home question!

[tinyracoon]

Just home from hospital with 4 day old newborn. He'll sleep in my arms or in DH arms, or when lying on our bed, but cries so hard when put down in next to me cot...

Do I just let him cry in the cot until he sleeps gently stroking him? or do I take it in turns with my partner to sleep?? Deffo don't want to co sleep!

He seemed happy to sleep in cot at hospital for last 3 nights!

I was told ( and I did this) to use a worn t-shirt as a cot sheet. Obviously for the first few nights. Newborns need the smell of mummy and daddy not "clean". We used my husbands t-shirt. Swaddled her and she slept. I found next to me too big to begin with ( they don't like lots of room either and reverted back to Moses basked for first 4 weeks. Cosy, enclosed and a whiff of mummy and daddy and you should get some sleep. Day 4 is when they wake up though and can be quite shouty during the night.

Agree with swaddle 100%. It was a game changer for us.

Thank you @sofasofa42 @LizHoney whAt kind of swaddle did you use? A blanket or one of those suits?

I agree swaddling has been a life saver. We used the straight jacket like ones where they velcro on the side strapping the arms down. A lot of people swear by the love to dream ones aswell

Congratulations!

and no, they don’t want to be anywhere other than with you, as that’s all they know. It will get easier but right now, you’re not going to get much sleep.

We had to take turns but I quickly found dh couldn't be trusted and I'd wake up to find him asleep so I had to go to being up all night and trying to get 2-4 broken hours during the day.

Baby eventually slept next to us rather than on us so I co-slept to survive.

Whatever else you do, don't let him cry. Might he be hungry? I reckon at this age always try feeding first. Then take turns with him sleeping on you. They don't have wants that aren't needs. It's hard-but it does get better.

This is kind of the deal with very new babies, they’ve gone from being warm and safe in a calm, dark environment with your heartbeat for comfort, to this mad, bright, loud, scary world. It’s very intense for them!

Loud white noise is your friend, there’s a 10 hour one on YouTube I used to play for Dd that settled her really well. Also swaddling.

Always try to feed first, they have tiny stomachs and usually want to eat little and often when v small.

And have a look at the 4th trimester - it will explain a lot. Congratulations!

Both of mine cried in the next to me initially - I put the moses basket inside the next to me which they seemed to prefer as it was a smaller space.

Google the 4tj trimester op, it'll all make sense. It doesn't last long good luck

Thank you all for coming to my 2am rescue! I was checking if he was hungry when he woke but he'd latch and then immediately fall asleep on my boob so could tell it wasn't hunger.

I definitely don't want to leave him to cry it out, so will try your tips for soothing him tonight!

babies are usually exhausted straight after birth so sleep very well and then reality hits them that they are no longer in the womb and everything is very scary!
My DD just wanted to stay latched all night for the first few weeks and wouldn’t settle any other way. It’s a tiring but completely normal and a great way to bond with your baby and ensure milk supply is in! It was very tough but you do get through it! We co slept as it was the only way to get any sleep (side lying breastfeeding). If I didn’t get much sleep in the night DP would take DD in a sling in the morning so I could get a couple of hours then.
congratulations and good luck!

If he wants to suck for comfort then try a dummy. I also really rate the Tommee tippee gro snuggle.

Hospital cots are small and cosy, and they swaddle them in a blanket. As others have said keep them in a small space, and wrapped. My dd's were in a carry cot, in the cot, until they got bigger.

I had one of these .. by day 3 we were cosleeping. Never even bothered to try to put dd2 in a cot. Swaddling wasn't recommended then, could affect limbs they said, advice seems to jump around. Have independent adults now so it was fine!

Swaddle or take turns to sleep for first few days

Mine never settled in the next2me when she was so tiny, it absolutely swamped her, so we put the Moses basket inside the next2me and she slept in that instead. They've just came from a cosy warm cramped place so I can imagine being placed in a huge bed is scary.
Also echo swaddling and white noise!

Good luck and congratulations. It gets better.

Mine found the next to me crib too big and kept having the startle reflex so kept waking up. We took it in turns staying up with him the first 2 weeks (8pm-2am then 2am-8am) which I don’t recommend but my partner was adamant someone needs to be awake watching baby even when asleep. We bought the love to dream swaddle and white noise and after 2 weeks he went into next to me crib. Woke a lot as expected but I always held him about 20 mins after he was asleep to make sure in a deep sleep.