3 year old having nightmares

[Matilda07]

Hi,
my daughter turned 3 today and for the last couple of weeks, she’s been waking up crying absolutely terrified. First of all it was monsters under bed, we put this down to watching super simple songs with the go away scary monster song which all our children love and sing to. But now it’s turned into something ‘somethings scary in my room’.
im quite a panicky person so when its the middle of the night and she’s telling me somethings in her room, I am terrified too (not that I let on). I’ve showed her under her bed, around her room, reassured her etc, but she’s just crying and crying until she’s out the room where she goes back to sleep. We’ve got her a new night light, a bedside table with it on along with her tonies box etc. a next to me crib for her baby etc, but she’s still terrified. She woke up an hour after going to sleep tonight sobbing saying she’s scared, she then wet herself which is her first ever accident since being toilet trained.. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so anxious throughout the day thinking about bedtime and how she is throughout the night. Does anyone have any suggestions?

one of my dds was like this. It is unnerving!

I never got her out of bed, only for a wee.

Then laid on her bed with her for a while being totally calm and normal. Explained how dreams can be so real, I still had them etc.

Then quickly moved onto something she was interested in. For her it was owning an ice cream shop when she grew up. What possible different flavours could we make up? Just total distraction about something interesting. No scary conversation, everything happy and peaceful.

And a cuddle, worked every time.

Also with other dd and ds come to think of it!

Oh and mummy and daddy are really actually with you in the room, there is a wall just there, but if you take it away we are all in the same room..

That’s a really good idea, I’ll try saying that tonight. Just feel so bad for her because you can tell she’s petrified bless her. Thank you!

@Matilda07 fingers crossed it works!

The wall thing works a treat, did for mine. They see their room not separated from us and siblings, we are all actually together.

Tomorrow try drawing a picture together of upstairs with no walls so she can imagine it easier 😁

I would also find some really gentle, relaxing nighttime music. Listen to it when you are sitting quietly with her during the day so she associates it with you and safety.

Play it to her as she falls asleep at night.

You can also tell her the monsters aren't real and she can tell the monsters that your mummy is coming and they will run away. Practice it with her during the day where she shouts "go away monsters!" Literally standing and putting her hand out. With regular practice and reenactment like this we can inform our unconscious and eventually find we can say and do these things in our dreams.

This is exactly how I stopped my own nightmares I was getting at one time, and I taught it to my children who found it worked too.
But you do need to keep practicing in your mind and out loud, after a while your mind adjusts, so that when something scary happens in your dream you are able to change it.