To sleep train or cosleep?? 6month EBF baby

[Pcosttcnumber1]

Hi all,
my daughter is 6 months old this week and I’m really struggling with her sleep. Shes exclusively breastfed. She’s not been a great sleeper since around 4 months , she wasn’t amazing before then but she’s been dreadful since 4 months. Her naps are max 45 mins so I’ve to put her down multiple times a day to make sure she’s banking some sleep for the day. I reached out to a sleep trainer and I’ve been following Kim west gentle sleep coaching . However I can’t afford to continue with the sleep trainer on her full plan as it’s like 500 euro!

I had her at a point where I was putting her into the crib awake and then sssshing and patting her to sleep and that started to work well from around 5 months. I started seeing a slight improvement in night time sleep. She would sleep from 7 to 10 and then I’d dream feed her and she would sleep until 130 and then maybe wake for her next feed around 5 and then back to sleep to 7am.
For that 5am feed,I’ve been putting her into the bed with me, so we’re not up for the day before 6. I’ll try sssshing and patting first and if that doesn’t work I’ll put her into the bed for a side lie feed.
I felt like things were going better but the last 2 weeks she’s waking after her dream feed nearly every 1.5 hours (it’s like the 4 month sleep regression is back!). When I do our normal night time routine and put her into the crib awake and patting and sssshing doesn’t seem to be working. She’s trying like mad to grab onto my hands and keep me close to her. She’s then crying looking to be cuddled and rocked to sleep. I feel like we were going well on the sleep training but now it’s like we’re back to the start again. I do think she might be teething at the moment also but can’t see any teeth.
The last two weeks, I’ve been putting her into the bed at 2am just to get some rest. I’m just wondering does sleep training really work with breast fed babies and am I fighting a losing battle. Should I just give in to cosleeping for an easier life and more sleep ?
Other info:
Also mentioning that we do the same routine every night… dim lights in kitchen from 5pm . Feed and bath and book from 630 on and into crib in completely dark room from 7pm. She sleeps with a dummy that she sometimes drops and then will wake up crying for. But as soon as I pop it back in she’s fine
Her naps during the day are usually a mini version of this routine with the room darkened or else in the car seat or stroller depending on the day
Last point, I’m nervous that the last sleep of the night (5am to 7am) where I’m cosleeping is going to mean she will never sleep in her own room as she’ll get so used to me snuggling up to her
I also feel that because the sleep training isn’t happening as easily as it seems to go in the training guidelines that I’m getting really stressed and feeling like I’m failing so I’m just wondering if there’s a better way for both myself and the baby to get more rest

Everyone is different and you have to make a choice that works for your family.

I have 3dc who were ebf (youngest is nearly 3 and stopped bf a little while ago). We (me and DH) coslept with all of them to maximise our sleep. The 2 year old starts in his own bed every night and usually comes through between midnight and 4am. I think the older ones stopped coming through aged around 3 1/2 years.

I don't know (and haven't heard of) any teenagers who cosleep with their parents. I don't even know of any 7 year olds who do more than come through for a morning cuddle (though I'm sure there are some somewhere). On this basis I think you can probably abandon the worry that they'll be in your bed forever.

In a desperate sleep deprived state we paid almost £700 for a sleep consultant to help train out EBF baby who woke up a similar amount of time to your baby, some good nights some bad nights etc. TBH I found it incredibly stressful sticking to a very strict routine. When it wasn't working for us the sleep consultant blamed me for not sticking to her routine rigidly enough. We really tried our best and found it almost impossible to.stick to the routine as strictly as the consultant said I needed to, the problem being that the baby hadn't read it so didn't realise whe was supposed to abide by it!! I really empathise with you feeling like you are failing and whilst I know.sleep training works well for.lots of.people I was pretty disenchanted with it and feel it is quite an unregulated industry and elements of it can exploit women at a vulnerable time.

It's NORMAL baby behaviour. It's very tough. But she's only 6 months and she needs you right now. Please don't sleep train, it's so unnatural and just not right.

Don’t sleep train, it’s just leaving a young baby to cry and it’s horrific. It’s really normal for babies to wake like this. It will get better. I used to pop all our babies in bed with us at any point after 4am. Before that, I would go into their room and feed/cuddle back to sleep and put them in their cot. No tears.
of course she will sleep in her own room as she gets older. She is tiny right now.
It’s fine to cuddle and rock her to sleep. She wants her mum.
throw the books away and know it will get better without them

If you have to go back to work then I’d start sleep training in the next couple of months. It doesn’t need to be barbaric and cruel, do it gently for a few mins at a time.

My kids slept through from when I went back to work with gentle sleep training. As far as I can tell they aren’t now traumatised and in need of therapy or mentally / emotionally stunted. I was able to get a six hours sleep at least most nights and I think it’s actually better for their development to get a good nights sleep where they’re not waking up bawling every hour and a half. Can’t be good for them.

Set your bed up to cosleep safely and give it a go! I think 6 months is too early to sleep train anyway (although personally I'm against ST but each to their own).

IME you can't sleep train an Ebf baby.

Thanks all for the advice. Just to be clear I’m against CIO and have been using a gentle responsive approach to ST where the baby is always picked up if she cries.

Co sleep safely if that's what it takes for now but there are LOTS of different types of sleep training/teaching. I've just done some with my EBF 6 month old and it's been a game changer.
I've done very gentle methods on both my kids. I used the pampers app this time, just did the 7 day free trial and that was enough to get us in a decent routine. With my older child I used calm and bright, look them up on Instagram.

I think it's normal and appropriate behaviour for a 6 month old baby. She will sleep longer once she's eating more solids. I have two children one slept through from 1. She was in her own cot and in her own room from 1. The 2nd didn't sleep through until 3. The 2nd one I co slept with until she was two. Then I tried to put her in her own room. I was doing hourly wake ups at one point but kept putting her back to bed because the quality of sleep I was getting was horrific. Honestly, I wouldn't put her into your bed. Who wouldn't want to be warm, safe and snuggled in mummy's arms? I found that if I reverted and put my youngest in the bed she woke up more and cried more so I'd put her in the bed.

Cosleeping worked wonders for us, I finally got some sleep, baby was so much happier close by, she slept longer intervals. I also learned to feed on my side and would do it half-asleep.

Personally I prefer cosleeping, but I know it's not for everyone. Just going through 4 month regression with DC4 and naps have gone to hell....

Ive never bothered to sleep train. I really thought I would with my twins after not bothering with eldest,but just never got round to it! I have a very low tolerance for crying at bedtime/night time and sitting on a chair for ages a little bit furtheraway each night I don't really have time for! Coslept with each of mine till about 2 and a half. EBF eldest and current baby, twins were mix fed.

Do whatever works for you. Lots of people sleep train. I couldnt be bothered. Either is fine. My eldest was a nightmare until 2.5. My boys never that bad, but one 3yo is currently sneakinginto my bed at 5.30 to warn his feet up on my legs.... aside from that annoying habit my eldest 3 sleep perfectly well and happily in their rooms and we dont have any bed time batrles at all, takes about 20 minutes total for all 3.

Basically make your chooce based on what you are comfortable with and what works for you as a family. It doesn't really matter what other people do, don't feel pressured either way. You know yourself and your baby.