Sleep training a four month old?

[Uptown2022]

Firsty, I absolutely won’t be doing any leaving her to cry type methods.

My DD is 4.5 months. Back in November she was sleeping well. Good chunk in first half of night and then awake a couple of times to feed before morning. Btw she feeds to sleep.

In December it all went awry. Waking anything between 2 and 6 times a night. She had a bit of a cold all month, so I think that was the issue.

Between Xmas and NYD she was back to good sleep and waking twice in the morning.

Then suddenly NYD, she literally won’t settle for longer than 15 mins when we put her to bed. Try settling several times and no luck.

Every night since she wakes up so quickly when we put her in her next to me. We’ve resorted to co-sleeping the last few nights. She sleeps fine then!

My question is, do I do something or just ride it out if it’s four month regression?

I don’t expect her to sleep through the night at all. I’d just like her to settle in her bed and maybe wake a few times a night instead of what we’re currently dealing with.

Thanks!

I could have written this post at four months, in fact I may have done. We didn’t sleep train and I’m glad we didn’t as looking back four months is far too young. Mind you at eight months old sleep is still terrible, though improved, so maybe ignore me! We made sure we had a good routine and looked to make our lives easier, and then did some gentle training around six months to help him learn how to self settle.

It’s the recommended age to start in the US. Maybe connected the short mat leaves but it clearly works for people.

I would personally ride it out til 6 months at least. As you said, potentially a sleep regression at 4 months could be linked.

Sounds like the 4 month sleep regression. I personally would ride it out but I've never been a fan of sleep training and have always just gone with the flow. 4 months is still so very young.

I'm in exactly the same position with my 4 month old. Hoping to ride it out for now and do some gentle sleep training at 6 months but the exhaustion is so tough!

My son hit the 4 month regression at 3 months and it was awful. We did sleep training at nearly 4 months using Ferber method. Changed all our lives, everyone keeps commenting how much happier he is, and of course I'm sleeping far better.

He used to have to be rocked/shushed/patted to sleep for about an hour at bedtime then (at the height of regression) he woke every hour to feed from 11pm. It was truly torturous.

He wakes now just twice overnight for a feed and sleeps 7-7. Settles himself back over within minutes. No more of this shushing/patting/rocking business.

It's not for everyone. My friend just "rode out" the regression and her son went back to 4hrly wakenings. But for a lot of babies this can be the start of the habitual 1-2hrly wakes and it'll not stop until they learn they don't need you/boob/rocking to fall back over.

@winniethepooped if you don't mind me asking, did you just let him cry when he first went to bed and every time he woke in the night? How long did it take to work?

No, I just started very incrementally at bed time, 3mins left him crying, entered room and comforted, then 5mins and repeat, next 10mins, and subsequent times leaving for 10mins before comforting. The following nights the times increase again to 5, 10, 12 and so on.

First few nights were totally fine, think he cried a total of 5-6mins. It took about 2 weeks before we were settled totally. Longest stretch I think was 25 mins at it was once or twice.

I'm still BF over night. So I continued the incremental/gentle cry it out over night only when he was waking every 1-2hrs. He stopped that fairly quickly. I got used to knowing then he actually only is hungry every 4 hours or so.

Applied it to naps, and a bit of a strict awake window/nap schedule. Stayed about the house mostly to secure a good routine of napping.

We do a good bath, big feed, dark room, white noise bedtime routine now which I think is key too to any sleep training.

i’ve been reading so many threads and I’m wondering how anyone goes out and sticks to a good bap routine through the day.

I try to stick to roughly 7am wake up, 9am nap, 12pm nap for 2 hours if poss, 4pm nap. Then bed at 7pm.

However, it almost always goes put the window. Is everyone just staying at home?

No not at all I was always pretty regimented on the nap timings but they were nearly always in the pushchair. Depends on your baby if they’re ok with that though, I know not all of them will sleep like that but it certainly makes life easier if they will!

Ahh that makes sense! No, she’s never really slept well in the pram. Maybe she will as she gets older. It’s car, sling, or occasionally cot for her naps!

See sleepchiefuk on Instagram for support. An account i followed was having massive difficulties with twins within a few nights all sorted and no distress to babies.

Glad to hear cry it out is off the table (as can cause anxious attachment/trauma in the future).