Nursery naps currently ruining my life

[Pigeotto]

Not sure if this has already been posted as I got kicked in the head whilst typing 😂

DS is about to turn 2 and the nursery naps are getting out of control. He was never a nap-py baby but he seems to have discovered naps the last few months and it’s the worst timing ever. Just as everyone else is dropping theirs.

The last month or so they’re averaging 2-3 hours. I wish this was a joke?!?! Mostly 3 to be fair the last few weeks as we’ve got into an awful routine because of it and Nursery have a no wake policy.

I feel like we’re just spending all this money for him to sleep half the day and it ruin our lives as well. Getting him* to sleep is obviously a fucking nightmare when he’s woken up at 3:30. Does anyone else nursery have this policy? Is this just in the younger classes? I’m hoping they phase naps out eventually?

Our nursery always respected our wishes- cap at 1hr, no nap at all. Children drop naps at diff times so they had a space for nappers and a room for those that didn’t. Have you spoken with them?

Yeah and they just say they don’t wake the kids 😭 I just want to plead with them at this point, possibly even bribery 😂. He’s so happy there and loves his carers so we don’t really want to move. Just hoping if anyone else nursery does this bizarre policy and if it gets better

I've never heard of a no wake policy! Usually they're very happy to wake when you want.

Never heard of this either, what a nightmare. My DS was a shocking sleeper, we actually cut all his naps at just turned 2 to stop him being awake half the night and/ or rising at 4!

No wake policy?! That’s ridiculous. Our nursery cut DS off after an hour and now we’ve asked them not to let him nap at all as otherwise he won’t go to sleep until 9/10pm. No issues at all. Have you asked them why they have this policy? Surely there must be exceptions? It’s crazy

Mine had a no wake policy too, drove me mad! My DS was still napping there at 3 years old!

I ask the nursery to wake my DD who is almost two to wake her up at 1 hour!

Mine had a no wake policy too, bloody nightmare. I really feel for you.
Naps were 2-3 hours but a few times 4 hours (at nearly 3 years old).
It was a vicious circle of napping too long > not going to bed therefore > next day napping too long again.
I was working full time and spending 2 hours each night getting her to sleep, by the time I had my dinner i had to go to bed and then got woken up all night. No idea how I got through it now.

I phoned them in tears one day and it slightly improved (I think one of the workers took pity on me!). I also sent an email describing how bad it was for my child and how much it was impacting their night sleep - how they were getting less sleep in a 24 hour period. But their policy remained not to wake them. (My next child is going to a different nursery for this reason!)

The one thing the nursery did respect was not letting them nap at all, ie they wouldn't wake them once asleep but just didn't put them down for a nap. Would that work?

It's such an appalling policy, the child is missing out on socialising and good quality night sleep too. All whilst paying nearly £100 a day for the privilege. I'm still angry about it now!

Ask nursery to cap his naps.

Or Pick him up at lunch and have him nap at home? My friend does that.

But it sounds like you want him to drop naps overall and I think you’re insane 😄 DS1 dropped all naps at 2. DS2 was napping 3 hours until well past age 3, it was lush!! DD seems to be more like DS1 and I’m dreading it!

Wtf! My son's nursery said he was asleep but they woke him at 3pm as was worried it would be to late. Common sense. My daughter could sleep till gone 3 and still go to bed fine so was relaxed with her

Thanks for the kind words, glad I’m not the only one.

I did manage to find some reference to guidelines about it being child led, just doesn’t make it easier. He finally fell asleep last night at 10pm. We’re definitely not ready to stop the nap ( or should I say go back to no naps 😅) yet but it’s goood to know that your nursery respected a no nap request. So there’s light at the end of the tunnel eventually it seems

Honestly, I'd change nurseries.

Same, this goes against my way of raising a child. Children need help in learning routines. Allowing them to nap all day is ridiculous.

Mine had a no wake policy too, bloody nightmare. I really feel for you.
Naps were 2-3 hours but a few times 4 hours (at nearly 3 years old).
It was a vicious circle of napping too long > not going to bed therefore > next day napping too long again.
I was working full time and spending 2 hours each night getting her to sleep, by the time I had my dinner i had to go to bed and then got woken up all night. No idea how I got through it now. I knew of two nurseries with this policy and it caused exactly this issue for my friends. One of them it was still going on in pre-school year when the child was 4. Both my children dropped naps by about 2.5 but if ever they did fall asleep it'd be for 2 hours+ if left to their own devices. They'd then not go to bed til 9 AND wake up just before 6. Agree it becomes a viscous cycle. None of my friends ever did change their nursery's minds despite it being a bit issue in their lives at the time.

What an awful policy, not in the child's interests at all.

Would you try him without the nap? That really helped us and I think they were probably ready before we realised it.

I feel for you OP. Sleep got amazing for us when my son dropped his nap around 2.5 yo. He now sleeps 7-7 which he never ever ever ever ever did before.
when he napped he wouldn’t go to bed until 9pm onwards.

our nursery were semi helpful in that they would attempt to cap a nap for us (sometimes worked) and they would also not let him nap by putting him in the big kids room when it was nap time for the smaller ones.

now he is in the 3-5 year old room they don’t do naps for any children at all. Parents love it. Bed time easy!!

Might be worth speaking to your health visitor - if your request to limit nap time comes with official backup it may be harder to resist?
It’s a totally ridiculous policy. Do any of the nursery staff have children themselves??

I've never heard of a no wake policy! Agree it's madness and just putting your son into a cycle of too much day sleep impacting night time, therefore needing more naps again the next day, it's not in the child's best interests at all.

My son is 2 and at our request nursery wake him after 2hrs max or at 2:30pm, whichever comes first. I would be looking at other nurseries too tbh.

Is a no wake policy from OFSTED?

I’m honestly not sure if they do have children themselves to be fair. Yeah am definitely going to mention it to the HV.

@Dontjudgeme101 I think so yes, they’re very child led and a really good nursery. This is my only gripe.

Thanks for the support guys, appreciated x

Have a look at the NHS guidance here

www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/health/sleep-and-young-children/

"Avoid long naps in the afternoon."

I quoted this at them as this is from an official source. It's a real cop out saying it's "child led" when it's not necessarily what's in their best interests.

It's obvious whose interest it's in, and it isn't the child.

Yes, I mean you could be child led by letting them poke sticks in each others eyes. Sometimes adults know better than children!

We had a nightmare with this too as DD dropped naps at home just before turning 2 (which I thought was unusually early). Then we had Covid & when she returned to nursery at 2.5 she started napping again & it was a nightmare! She’s always been able to get by on less sleep & she wasn’t going to bed until 11pm! We tried telling them to wake her up after an hour but she was still going to bed late & they weren’t sticking to it so we had to tell them just to stop the naps. She did still end up napping sometimes though & I dreaded seeing it on the slip they gave us at pick up!

Ours also had a no wake policy. I investigated and pushed further and further as to why. They said as no one wants to be moved and woken. So it changed to them not being able to physically touch them to wake them. So I said you can speak to them and try and engage with them. Also find a more sympathetic worker. They now cap his naps at 2hrs (was even over 3), and now considering asking for it to be capped at 1hr (he is 2.5).