ferber for twins

[Reddeadsleepdeprivation]

Hi mums. I have 6mo twins and I am on the fence about sleep training. They currently need motion (being rocked or in car/buggy) to fall asleep and I have started co sleeping because I am tired of rocking them back to sleep every 1or2 hours at night. DH wants to do the ferber method but I am scared to try it. I don’t quite understand why I need to endure the torture that is listening to my babies cry in order to get them to sleep in their cots. It doesn’t make any sense to me, I keep thinking there must be a non-crying way to get them to sleep in their cots and stay asleep. I have been reading positive ferber method stories on here but I have been taken away by the anti-sleep-training camp online and can’t get the attachment parenting narrative out of my head. Being a mum for the first time already comes with a lot of guilt and anxiety, the controversy around sleep training is something I really cannot handle. But we are beyond breaking point. Co sleeping is not practical for any future babysitters, it’s putting a strain on our marriage and the lack of routine we’re in every day is hell. I can’t get them to nap consistently on a schedule no matter what I try, it is just chaos. We have the same bedtime routine and get up at 7 every day but everything else is random. I know the only way I will ever get any order in our home is sleep training. I get the feeling loads of mums were nervous before they sleep trained their little ones. How did you overcome that fear? I want to go into it calmly and with confidence. Please can anyone help me climb onboard the sleep training (ferber) my twins ship?

Hi! I haven't tried sleep training yet but my husband and I are planning to start tonight (6mo). I just wanted to say that I'm also really nervous and scared about it too so you're not alone. I'm also worried about the attachment type stuff but know that, ultimately, it will be better for everyone involved so we're going to give it a go!

Have you given it a go yet?

Thanks for the solidarity. Wishing you the best for your training ❤️ I envy your bravery. We’ve not tried it yet, I’m too chicken and currently looking into other “softer” methods at the moment. I keep seeing that Ferber works but isn’t “gentle” and I’m so paranoid about what the universe would think if it knew I’d done something that’s not in gentle parenting rule book. DH doesn’t agree with following any type of parenting plan gentle or other and we have to meet in the middle somehow. But I am so anxious about not screwing up my kids this bloody gentle parenting is like a get out of jail free card that I can’t get rid of.

@LunaBear26 just seen your post was a few days ago. How did it go? 🙏💤

It went so much better than I expected! I was really nervous all afternoon and upset during bedtime routine just waiting for it to happen! But he didn't scream, he did cry but not that horrible screamy cry. First night he went to sleep in 11 mins, second night 7 mins, third night was a bit longer, maybe 10 mins. Already he's sleeping longer stretches! Still not great but so much better than hourly! He has done a few 5 or 6 hour stretches which is amazing!

We changed the ferber intervals a bit and did 1, 3 and 5 mins the first night, then 3, 5 and 7 mins the second night and now we're doing 4, 6 and 8 mins. We haven't really got to rhe longer intervals though tbh!

He was awake last night on and off between 4 and half 5 but I was watching on the monitor and he was fussing around trying to get to sleep which is so good.

We followed some gentle sleep training advice first too. He's got a blankie now and we do some 'cot exercises' (from Lucy Wolfe's book) where we play in the cot during the day to get him more used to the space which I think has helped.

Honestly, give it a go! I was really nervous about what others would think too, but at the end of the day it's your mental health too your babies need you to be rested and well! That was my thought process.

Good luck with it for your twins. I'm a twin myself and have no idea how my mum did it. You guys are super heroes! ☺️