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Dd 16months will only settle for DH

2 replies

MooMaa83 · 05/01/2024 11:38

Hi, I know this is opposite to most people but my little girl will only settle when she wakes at night when my DH settles her. Her sleep has always been awful, but we are now down to only 1 night waking usually around 3am. We've been trying to gently night wean, so when she wakes offer water and lie her back down. With DH she will lie down, and he sits with her until she is asleep (he is working on gradual retreat from this). Takes about 15mins. However if I try to settle her all hell breaks loose. She will scream in her cot and not lie down. I have to pick her up, give her milk (bottle and boob), rock cuddle and the whole things takes upwards of an hour. If I lie her down before she is in a deep sleep she goes ballistic and the whole process starts again.

Dh is happy to settle her, but I do worry as he is tired and drives a lot with work. I also feel a bit upset that I can't seem to comfort her, and want to keep trying so she's used to me also. Has anyone else had this, and was it a phase? Also any advice on anything we can do differently greatly appreciated....we'd love her to sleep through as we both work full time and have other dc.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ReetPetity · 05/01/2024 11:46

It sounds like you can comfort her, though? It’s just that she’ll happily go to sleep for your husband without needing to be picked up, but with you, she wants to be fed and cuddled.

Our littlest has always been a monster sleeper. He’ll only settle for me (not even if my husband cuddles him), but one tip I had for breaking the waking/feeding association with me was to change his nappy before feeding/cuddles. It took a little while, but certainly seemed to work for us and has made me resettling him easier.

Either way, good luck!

Brightandbreezey · 05/01/2024 11:54

I’m not an expert as I only have an 11 month old and haven’t tried to night wean but it’s sounds like it’s because she associates you with milk and your DH with other forms of soothing.
If your DH is ok with it I would let them get on with it as 15 mins Vs an hour is a no brainier!
I completely understand that you would be upset by this (I would too) but until she’s fully night weaned I would leave them to it! Probably not what you want to hear! Sorry!

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