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11MO Not sleeping- HELP im tearing my hair out

13 replies

Far6152 · 04/01/2024 07:25

since my daughter turned 5 Months she has been awful at sleeping and hasn’t slept through the night once, despite her stopping night feeds. She’s in her own cot but sharing a room with us ( we are in the process of moving). She had multiple night wakings and I’m getting now sleep. We tried to sleep train at 10 months which worked for a week, now we are back to square one. She is currently having two naps a day about first nap is 3 hours after awake which is usually 1.5 hours and second one 3.5 hours after nap waking and is about 40-60 mins. I don’t let her sleep later than 15:30. She does to bed 3-3.5 hours after her last nap as she’s sooo tired then so around 18:00-19:00. She settles with no issue but is currently waking up screaming at 11:30 on the dot every single night and will be up for about 1-2 hours. Sometimes milk settles her but usually it doesn’t. Once she settles she will be tossing and turning all night then screaming again at 4-5 which at this point I usually give up and put her in the bed. What am i doing wrong!? I’m so desperate for sleep!!! Im also 8 weeks pregnant so more exhausted than ever. I also forgot to mention she does have a dummy but I don’t think this is the issue….. HELP!!

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 04/01/2024 07:33

Do you not have a second bedroom?

Far6152 · 04/01/2024 07:39

No, we are currently in the process of moving- where she will be going into her own room

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TheIsleOfTheLost · 04/01/2024 09:35

If the sleep training worked, what changed?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 04/01/2024 09:36

Pure doing everything right. I think baby might be teething. My same age baby is similar. Can you scatter a few glow in the dark dummies around cot so baby can find it if it falls out? And I also found a Tommy tippe white noise machine works as it switches itself on when they cry a little bit which can sometimes soothe

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 04/01/2024 09:38

You also should start going to bed in the evening when baby does if you can get support from your partner to do this as you must be so tired this pregnant

notanothernamechange12 · 04/01/2024 09:41

My 10 month old does the below and we sleep trained at 9 months you have to remain consistent he is teething atm

Wake 6
Nap at 9 for an hour
Nap at 1 for teo hours
Bedtime routine at 6, asleep by 7

Both your naps seems too long if we do a long afternoon nap even if 12-3 it impacts his night sleep terribly

Far6152 · 04/01/2024 10:06

She got a cold and it all messed up again, this time she won’t self settle at all at 11:30 she will just scream for 1-2 hours unless rocked, back rubbed etc

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Far6152 · 04/01/2024 10:08

she has the Ollie the owl white noise machine and we scatter the dummies in the cot, I feel like we’ve tried absolutely everything. I tried giving calpol but that made no difference as it’s now been 2 weeks of waking the same time every night

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Far6152 · 04/01/2024 10:10

her first nap is 1.5 hours and her second nap is 40-60 minutes

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Far6152 · 04/01/2024 10:13

i think I’m going to have to start doing this, I’m getting about three hours broken sleep a night, on top of all day sickness 🤦🏻‍♀️

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NoCloudsAllowed · 04/01/2024 10:15

Your OP is a mixture of 'in with us' and 'I settle her' - who does what? I'm picturing a one bed flat or something - can you set up a bed in living room, use earplugs and take it in shifts to settle her in the night so you both get at least some sleep?

It's probably a phase and will work itself out, easier to sleep train when you have a separate room for baby. If you don't want to sleep in shifts as above then just co-sleeping from get-go and going to bed v early might be the best way to get a decent amount of sleep.

Umph · 04/01/2024 10:34

First, check if there is anything happening at 11.30 that might disturb her. Does the temperature drop because the heating as turned off? Are you coming to bed and waking her? Is the white noise automatically switching off? Does the boiler make noise? Check everything in her environment is the same all night as much as possible.

Second, set a wake up time. Even if she’s had a terrible night, you get her up at the same time every day. I would say 7am, but if she wakes any time after 6, you start the day.

How does she fall asleep? Try to have her fall asleep in her cot, without a bottle. You don’t want anything to be different when she rouses overnight as it can be confusing and distressing.

Be really consistent with her night time wakes. No milk. Be reassuring but boring. Try to avoid lifting her out of the cot if you can, and just repeat the same phrase eg. ‘It’s sleep time’. Bum patting and shushing can be helpful.

I would probably try to reduce her naps a little bit but gradually shortening the afternoon nap 5-10 minutes per day.

Lots of fresh air and afternoon daylight every day will promote melatonin production and reset circadian rhythms.

But also remember, night waking is NORMAL. It’s shit, and modern lives are just not set up to deal with it, but it is biologically totally within the realms of typical development. In tribal cultures, you would have extended family to nurture you and bab. You’d go to bed earlier and co-sleep, and have time to nap. You’d share wet nursing with other women. Our bodies and our babies don’t know that we are now expected to work, and live as isolated family units, and run a home. So please, please cut yourself some slack for finding this hard.

Far6152 · 04/01/2024 10:40

Thank you so much for this, I think sometimes you forget you’re not the only one going through bad nights. It can be so hard and lonely. I’m going strip it all back to basics and I guess do a process of elimination. She settles in her cot straight away for naps and bedtime, it’s just this consistent night waking that’s the issue. We don’t hear a peep out of her until 11:30 I can’t think of anything thats triggering this but I will put the gro egg back on to track the temperature to make sure she’s not getting too cold

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