4 year old wont sleep!

[Racheltanner1995]

no matter what i do my child will not sleep. i have her in a routine and even if shes in bed shes constantly getting out calling me or making herself sick where she is crying so much. our normal routine is - get up at 7-7.30 get breakfast and ready for school i.e teeth brushed hair done and school clothes on breakfast and get to school for 8.40am i pick her up at 3.10pm go home get her a snack as shes always hungry when she gets out. i then either do an activity with her till around 4.30 then i start dinner she has ipad/tv time we have dinner around 5.30 i then let her play and do what she likes in the bath for around 6.45 she loves a bath so could be in there for about 30 mins or so, then i get her out in her pjs hair brushed and dried play in her bedroom till around 7.30 then put her in her bed read her a story or tell her a story, put the night light on giver her a kiss and tell her good night. after all that you would have thought she would be so tired and want to go to sleep but she dont. shes then up and screaming and shouting crying making her self sick. getting in and out of bed. i put her back tell her i love her and goodnight again after 3 times i just put her back without saying anything. nothing seems to work, i spent a fortune getting her bedroom the way she wanted it new bed new everything fresh paint. its been done for 2 months and shes still getting in to my bed in the night sometimes i dont feel her so i dont know shes got in but 9 time outta 10 i do i wait till shes fallen asleep and then i put her back in her room. its getting to the point where she isnt going to bed till 12am and im so tired i can feel myself becoming irritable and just miserable with no sleep. i try my best and i never take it out on her, i will always speak calmly and you no normal to her. ive sat in my bedroom crying when shes gone to school. i just dont know what to do anymore. its currently 9.40 and i have given up and taken her back downstairs shes laying on the sofa watching tv just hoping she will fall asleep.

Kids will always test boundaries, and try to find flexes and exercise autonomy. Set a boundary and enforce it. She's a grown kid not a baby so it's any longterm harm to build discipline.

She'll kick up a fuss for a few nights, but eventually she'll cave and settle in her own room.

Im the same!! My 4 year old has been an amazing sleeper from around 10 months - recently... 11-12 hours a night, self settling, and just sitting in bed till we wake up in the morning - an absolute dream! However, since early december he has been suddenly having 3-4 wakings a night.... no reason for it - he just shouts us mainly, we come in, tuck him back up and say goodnight and he goes off again, but sometimes, maybe once or twice a night he just wont settle - he cries but says he doesnt know what he wants. Its been around 7 weeks of this now and its so unlike him!! We have tried everything - night light, door open/door closed, making bedtime more settling but putting a mood light on and reading stories in bed to wind down, and also doing a reward chart - but i just feel like there may be more too it, such a good sleep for 3 years then it all went to this extreme 1 night 7 weeks ago - Any ideas? is it developmental and we just ride it? has your little one always been like this or is this random too?

I would say at age 3 it is more about attention and wanting their own way.
Have you tried to speak to her and see whats going on. Obvs in a child friendly way. Maybe fears / nightmares that reoccur?
I do remember i was similar and my brother. But we both had awful nightmares. And I grew out of it around age 7 and my brother 8/9. Our parents never sent us away from the bed. They let us stay as long as we slept.
My brother was still going into their room at age 10 but sleeping on the floor me at to the bed. He had a very over active imagination and was bad at night for not switching off.

P.s we were both amazing sleepers as babies / toddlers.

Some kids have a more sensitive tempremant and need more support at bed time.

Could you try gentle sleep training. I.e waiting for her to fall asleep with you in the room / by the door..start off close and move away gradually?

All the best. I have a 2 yr old who was an awful sleeper from 3 weeks of age and it started to get better now. I was awlways told it swaps as they get older. Great sleepers as babies gets bad when older and vice versa.