My premmie baby will not sleep safely

[JodieH97]

My baby is currently 13 weeks old (6 weeks corrected) and used to sleep in his Moses basket without an issue until about 4 weeks ago. Since then he will only sleep in our arms or if he does settle in his crib it is only on his front / side which means I do not get any sleep. We have now bought a next to me crib and he seems to like more but still won't settle safely on his back, even when we warm it up with a hot water bottle before popping him in.

Reading previous threads most advice is to co-sleep however as he was premature and born under 2.5kg it is not safe for us to do so.

He is formula fed around and takes 3-5oz every 4 hours. Our routine before bed includes a bath, book and bottle however he rarely takes more than 3oz before bed leading to him waking up hungry a couple of hours later.

We have persevered with putting him down in the next to me between feeds at night and we are now at a stage where he spends more time in there than in our arms however he is unsettled and has broken sleep meaning that when we do hold him to feed he falls asleep almost instantly on the bottle and then wakes up an hour later hungry. He is then knackered during the day and we struggle to keep him awake which means by the evening he's wide awake and it feels like a vicious cycle.

Im completely exhausted and at a loss of what to do next but I know I can't continue holding him to sleep all night every night. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated

At 13 weeks, and I would imagine even more so at an adjusted 6, babies still need really regular daytime sleep. How many times are you getting him to nap in a day? It could be that he has reached the dreaded Overtired. Which is something you think is a joke until you have children! He might be so tired he is now struggling to fall asleep. I used to spend a day just getting them to nap when they needed it and for a good amount of time, even if for me that was a day sat on the sofa or pushing a pram. It was like it reset them!

But also he might just be going through a bit of a restless phase.

This was me with my preemie baby. It turned out he had severe reflux. Babies can have reflux without spitting up. I’d raise it with your GP.

You have my sympathies, my DS was a very frequent waker. Me and DH used to take it in turns to go to bed at 7pm in the spare room and get a bit of sleep before the night shift.

Can he roll? If he’s rolling himself onto his front or side in the crib then that’s okay. If not, then stop putting him down on his front or side so he forgets that’s it’s an option for now.

If he is asleep instantly with a bottle, soon after the previous feed then he’s probably just comfort sucking. Have you tried a dummy?

Also you don’t need to keep him awake in the day. At that age a lot of babies will sleep for most of the day.

This all sounds totally normal to me. Having a new baby - especially a premie I'd imagine - is incredibly stressful and sleep deprivation makes everything worse. At this age they don't know day from night, I distinctly remember trying and failing to keep DD awake for an hour in the day at that age. They also sleep really restlessly at night, and so noisy! No one warned me about that. I would go to bed on my own at 9pm and DH would stay awake with baby downstairs till midnight so I could get 3 hours proper sleep, then he'd sleep in the spare room so he was ok for work.

It's worth asking GP about reflux because there are things they can do, but for silent reflux I'd expect to see some signs like crying after feeds or arching back.

Agree with PP about dummies, especially if reflux is involved - my refluxy DS was inseparable from his until he was 3. We also put both babies in sleepyheads/dockatots at night but you're not meant to do that.

Otherwise I'm sorry but I think you just need to ride it out. It should get easier soon. Try and take all the standard advice like accepting any offers of help, sleep when he sleeps (this one drove me nuts!), just focus on keeping yourselves alive, etc.

Do talk to GP/HV and keep trying different things. It's frustrating. I remember very well feeling absolutely desperate for a solution and not being able to find one. It will get better soon.