12 month sleeping terribly - have I messed up?

[ButWeHAdNightWeanedAndEverything]

Hi, I would really appreciate some opinions/advice as I can't help feeling I've handled this all wrong.

My daughter is 12 months. We have always given her a consistent routine and worked hard at it and by 11.5 months she was night weaned and sleeping through from 7 pm until 5 am every night. This lasted about 2 weeks. A few weeks ago she woke in the night with a temperature and cough, inconsolable and pulling at my top when I went to comfort her so I fed her and then co slept. She was ill for a few days and it felt more important to feed her for comfort than stick to any rules like no milk during the night.

Ever since then it hasn't been possible to get back to where we were. She screams blue murder and tenses up her whole body when I try to put her in her cot. She won't lie down and if I do lay her down she is up again like a jack in the box. From about 10.30 pm she wakes every hour or so and is inconsolable. It's not even about being fed because when I try to feed her she pushes me away. She wants to be picked up and held, but only in an upright position so I can't rock or bounce her to sleep. She cries and tries to fling herself out of my arms if I sit or lie down. She's calm and quiet only if I'm standing up holding her. As soon as I go to put her down she cries and tenses up again. It's no better if my husband tries putting her to bed.

I've tried to put her in our bed but she doesn't sleep, instead she squirms and kicks us constantly, and climbs all around the bed. The other night she climbed over me and fell out of bed. We can't have her in our bed anymore because 1. She's kicking us constantly 2. I.m exhausted but can't sleep for fear that she'll fall out of bed again or somehow end up being squashed/suffocated and 3. I just don't really want to co sleep.

I know there can be a 12 month sleep regression but I feel like I've somehow caused this and now i don't know how to get back on track. It's not getting any better at all and I'm gutted. I have to go back to work in 2 days time and am an exhausted wreck.

Help!

Found this on a search as I’m in a similar position now. I hope things settled down for you and you’re getting some sleep x

Thanks for your reply. Things settled down somewhat but never returned to how they were. She is now going through her next sleep regression it seems so things aren't great at the moment! I think it's all linked to separation anxiety so I'm just trying to roll with it. Hope things get better for you.