Time to sleep train?

[IMB711]

My DS is 18 months and naps 11.30-1pm (12 - 1 if at nursery). I've been on the fence about sleep training but with DC2 on the way and working full time I'm really exhausted by the end of the day.

DS goes down on his own (well he will lay on the single bed in his room whilst we sit on it and eventually fall asleep and we transfer him to his cot) at 8pm and sleeps until 6am but wakes twice in the night and will only go back to sleep if we come into his room and hold him. A lot of the time I'm unable to go back to sleep once he wakes.

My DH and I usually alternate who gets up for the night wakes but he now has to work abroad for a large part of my 3rd trimester meaning I'll be doing it on my own and I'm nervous about the lack of sleep.

Not sure whether to sleep train and if so what the best method is?

TIA x

I am in a similar position, have a 22 month old that coslept for 15 months and has now been in their own room for 7 months but sleep has been very on and off. We have had good periods of sleep for a few weeks and also bad periods of sleep. We are currently now in a bad period of sleep, waking up multiple times and tired us has let him into our bed in the mornings which has meant him waking earlier and earlier, so he was in our bed by 2 am this morning. Even during his good periods of sleep, he would often wake at least once and wake for the day at 5 am. He also does not go to sleep on his own, he needs us holding his hand or lying on his floor for him to go to sleep.

I am also expecting another now, although it’s only early days (6.5 wks) and so the constant waking and lying with him to go to sleep is tough.

Today for his nap, I put him down, said nap time and kissed and cuddled and left him, for 1 minute, then 2 minutes then 3 minutes etc. He was upset, which was really tough, I never left him for more than 3 minutes at a time as I didnt want him to get too upset. Within 20 minutes, he had lay down and gone to sleep without me next to him for the first time ever. He woke up after 20 minutes and I went in comforted him and then left again and he again put himself back to sleep. I have never been keen on any sleep training method, but now that he’s communicating well, I know he understands that I am just outside and will come back to him.

I didn’t think I would ever sleep train, but this pregnancy is tough and like I said now that I feel that he understands where I am and what I am saying, he doesn’t feel abandoned.

This is helpful! So basically a form of "controlled crying"? I'm so nervous he'll be annoyed/upset but also want to get things in order and want to make sure I don't use the wrong method 😩

It’s really difficult to know if you’re doing the right thing, but yes essentially although he doesn’t always cry. It’s not easy for either of you. In an ideal world, I wouldn’t be a working parent and I could co-sleep until he was ready to move but unfortunately that’s not feasible for us. At this age, I don’t think there’s any damage to letting them get upset about it, he knows we are here and that if he wakes up we will be here.

It’s all still new for us, bed time is ongoing and my husband is trying the same method now for bed time. Toddler is definitely upset about the change in routine, but then again he gets upset with the current routine too because I can’t just go to bed at 7 pm with him and lie next to him all night which is what he would like. It didn’t last half as long for bed time as by the time I have finished writing this post he has settled down and put himself to bed. He has free range of his room as is in a toddler bed and has access to toys and books if he wants, but can’t leave the room due to a gate on the door. I hope that in time, it will be a much happier experience for him