Twins just don’t sleep….EVER!

[Kaxford]

Hi mums, I’m at my wits end. Writing this in tears 😢 I have twin boys who are now 9 months old. Until they were about 4 months they slept pretty well. One lad had gone to only waking once a night for a bottle and the other lad would sleep through maybe 3 or 4 nights a week. Then they started teething and the whole lot went to sh*te. Five months later it’s as bad as ever. Some times they will wake two or three times before I even get to go to bed and then they could wake anywhere between twice each to six or seven times each a night. I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I feel like they should be sleeping at least a bit better than they are even if they didn’t sleep all night. Has anyone else been through this because I feel like the only person in the whole world awake in the middle of the night sometimes

My sisters approach to this was to do whatever made life easier at the time, and sort the consequences later. That included all bed sharing on floor beds. So twins together and her too. Milk on tap. And taking shifts with her husband. They have an older child too.

Personally I would sleep train, we're quite different in that regard, but then I've not had twins!

Also sorry you're struggling! It does end. Somehow. Meanwhile always say yes to coffee and cake. And to naps.

People will tell you to sleep train but honestly I think it's just your babies needing you. That doesn't make it any easier though! It's hard but it will get easier as time goes on, just take one day/night at a time. The waking up before you've even gone to bed is hard, I remember that, you just know what sort of night it's going to be don't you!

My heart sinks when the moniter goes off before bed because exactly that i know I’m in for a particularly rough one. I love them more than I ever imagined I could but when I’m crying along with them at 3am it’s harder than I ever imagined too

The past month we’ve had a huge amount of upheaval and stress which I know has affected them too through me so I’ve tended to go down the bed sharing route because I thought I might die if I didn’t get some bit of sleep! There’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as a method of torture! My husbands cousin worked in crèche’s for years with the boys age group and she was with me a couple of days to try and sleep train at least for daytime naps. I couldn’t I just couldn’t. She had to physically hold me back and of course the first day I was on my own I lasted about 3 minutes before I went to them.

@Kaxford I feel you. I am currently tucked up in bed having take paracetamol because I have a headache and my eyes are burning from trying to make it through the day today on about 2 hours total sleep.
I've told my partner to sleep on the sofa because I can't take another night of waking every hour on the hour/feeding /resettling and then having him snoring / her crying/ me trying to relax back in to a sleep. As mentioned above- I'm going down the - do what needs to be done for now and worry later- route. Even though I've done mild sleep training ( just to get her to sleep in her bed whilst I'm there instead of on me ALL the time because this also gets me after such a long time of it- I can't sleep because she is heavy and fidgets on me all night otherwise!)

My little one is now 15 months old. She never slept through. I'm so secretly envious of those who have babies who have. I never minded it in the first 9 months- I knew her waking was a good thing and I'm an anxious person regarding sleep and the dangers of co sleeping etc etc. but NOW? Omg. I'd give my right arm for one full nights sleep
I let her sleep next to me if I need to. It just has to happen.

Had a massive row this morning with my partner because I'm at my wits end. I'm on my knees with how tired I am. And I really need him to step in and let me have lay ins or random times to just go and nap! So my god- twins? that often? I FEEL for you. Just know.... you're def not the only person alone and awake - I promise!

Mum of twins, it sounds like they are going through a growth spurt. I did a 11pm feed for both in the near dark, making sure they were dry.

It got them through to 5ish

It's really hard, I remember it well . I was back at work at 9 months I don't know how I did it

Do whatever you can to get enough sleep. You say you are up after they go to bed. Could you go to bed soon after they do. So whilst you would have disruptions if you “in bed” for 12 hours the little bits will add up to enough to keep going. Minimum to function is 5 hours.
Also you don’t mention if there is a dad in the picture. If there is he needs to step up and do a shift where you get uninterrupted sleep.

There are sleep training options that don’t involve leaving them to cry, the gradual withdrawal one means you stay and comfort them but without getting them out of bed, for example. I went through this with one, not two, and was very anti sleep training; she didn’t sleep til she was 3. When I had my second child and her sleep became shite after 4 month regression, I knew I’d need to sleep train as I would actually die if I went through that again. Not saying you have to do the same but I think it’s worth a cost/benefit analysis if quality of life is very poor on so little sleep.

When I meet people who have young babies who sleep all night I imagine how lovely having a a baby could be, it’s such another world compared to what I experienced, total survival.

I had similar experience to you. My twins are now 8. Basically what worked for me is co sleeping. Not everyone's ideal but as long as everyone gets a good sleep, that was my main priority.