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Sleep

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Original poster

Stopping feeding to sleep

14 replies

FTM21 · 22/12/2023 08:28

Please could someone give me some advice on stopping feeding to sleep? I feel like I am at my wits end with it. I love breastfeeding however my baby who is nearly 8 months old has never slept longer than an hour without me and it's really taking its toll now. I don't know why but I feel like feeding him to sleep is the cause of him waking so much! I've tried putting him in his own room but that doesn't help, so we bed share for now but means I have to go to bed so early because he wakes so frequently. I really don't like hearing crying it causing me so much anxiety so crying it out isn't an option and my baby seems to cry a lot without even trying cry it out method. I feel like I'm failing him and I really don't know what to do anymore it's getting me so down because I know he isn't going to be this little forever as I have a 3 year old and it goes so quickly but my mental health is deteriorating.
I am going to seek advice from the HV today as well. Thank you for any comments I appreciate all advice.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Tiredbehyondbelief · 22/12/2023 08:29

You could try No cry sleep solutions by Elizabeth Pentley (available from Amazon)

Original poster

FTM21 · 22/12/2023 08:33

Tiredbehyondbelief · 22/12/2023 08:29

You could try No cry sleep solutions by Elizabeth Pentley (available from Amazon)

Thank you, will have a look. There is so many options out there is knowing what will work

OP posts:

Tiredbehyondbelief · 22/12/2023 09:57

I personally did a Baby Wisperer's technique but it involved some crying. You said you don't want you child to cry. Message me if you want to have more info on Baby Wisperer method. I do remember being woken up every hour and feeding to sleep. It's not nice

ElmtreeMama · 22/12/2023 19:59

I'm still feeding my 2yr old to sleep, definitely feeling like I've failed, no idea how to break the cycle
Good luck!

Springbaby2023 · 27/12/2023 22:27

@FTM21 did you speak to your HV? I’m having the exact same issue with my eight month old. I feel at breaking point and don’t know where to turn to for advice!

Outliers · 27/12/2023 23:34

You'll have to stomach some cries eventually I'm afraid.

But for now, I would suggest gradually reducing time / amount you feed each night. Usually they naturally drop off. Mine stopped waking after 3/4 days.

Giving formula before bed might help as it's heavier.

SomePosters · 27/12/2023 23:56

Babies cry, you can’t stop it every time and when they get bigger eventually they have to learn not to scream to get what they want.
The longer you put off that moment the more brutal the transistion is.

i decided to stop feeding to sleep when my baby was 6mo because I could see she was waking slipping off the nipple so I covered my nipple with my hand and snuggled down next to her.
she snuffled and grizzled for about 5 mins and then fell asleep for about 6hrs.
after that I started doing her night feeding sitting in a chair and then laying down with boobs away to settle to sleep

NotARealWookiie · 28/12/2023 09:50

I had exactly this with dd1. Fed to sleep. Woken by her every 45mins- 1 hr.

I tried, pick up put down, baby whisperer, no cry sleep solution and every trick i could possibly think of.

At 8 months it was taking its toll and impacting my ability to function and be a nice mummy.

So I did the one thing I never wanted to do. Controlled crying.

I did the jo frost method but with more settling between periods of crying and it worked within 3 nights. The first night was the worst she cried I total for 32 minutes. The second night was around 8 mins and night 3 was 30 seconds. Followed by 4/5 hours of sleep each time. I made a rule that I would only breastfeed her after midnight and offer water if she woke before, then I gradually extended that time to water until 3am etc. Within a week she was down to only one wake up per night and pretty soon sleeping for 12 hours per night.

It totally changed everything, very quickly and actually I would say there was less crying than a normal night or a bad car journey.

it’s not for everyone but it’s worth thinking about.

Springbaby2023 · 28/12/2023 10:45

@NotARealWookiie Not my original thread but I’m having the same issues and I think we are going to try this from tonight in terms of feeds! He self settles at bedtime so that’s not the issue for us, just the feeding throughout the night. Hope we have similar results to you!

NotARealWookiie · 28/12/2023 15:39

Springbaby2023 · 28/12/2023 10:45

It did work for me when combined with the controlled crying but I don’t know if it would work with pick up/put down or no cry methods… I wish you luck.

Original poster

FTM21 · 28/12/2023 15:49

Springbaby2023 · 27/12/2023 22:27

@FTM21 did you speak to your HV? I’m having the exact same issue with my eight month old. I feel at breaking point and don’t know where to turn to for advice!

Yes I did, she didn't give much advice only that he isn't ready yet. No idea when she thinks or how she thinks he would be. She just said I have to do what works for me in terms of getting sleep and rest but I am already doing all of that.

OP posts:

Original poster

FTM21 · 28/12/2023 15:50

NotARealWookiie · 28/12/2023 09:50

I had exactly this with dd1. Fed to sleep. Woken by her every 45mins- 1 hr.

I tried, pick up put down, baby whisperer, no cry sleep solution and every trick i could possibly think of.

At 8 months it was taking its toll and impacting my ability to function and be a nice mummy.

So I did the one thing I never wanted to do. Controlled crying.

It totally changed everything, very quickly and actually I would say there was less crying than a normal night or a bad car journey.

it’s not for everyone but it’s worth thinking about.

Thanks for your response. I feel this is the method approach I am going to have to do as I am at my wits ends and it's affecting my mental health now.

OP posts:

NotARealWookiie · 28/12/2023 18:40

FTM21 · 28/12/2023 15:50

Thanks for your response. I feel this is the method approach I am going to have to do as I am at my wits ends and it's affecting my mental health now.

Show quote history

I was the same, it was the best thing I could have done. Very tough the first night but oh my goodness the sleep was worth it and 6 years later she still sleeps through… I have no regrets. Good luck!

Whenyouregoodtomama · 28/12/2023 20:26

I stopped feeding to sleep by moving the whole schedule onto Eat, Play, Sleep.

so every wake window I would feed him when he woke up, not before he slept. Easy to get going as obviously you feed them first thing in the morning. If you have a really hungry baby then you can feed them mid-way through a wake window, just at least 30 mins before nap time.

when my friend told me about it, I thought no way would it ever work but it was fine. I initially rocked him to sleep instead which was still a bit of a crutch but at least my partner/grandma/anyone else could do it.

in the end I sleep-trained at 6m to get him sleeping through the night. Best thing we ever did. If you’re thinking about it, join No Judgement Baby & Toddler Sleep Training group on Facebook (someone on here recommended it and it’s amazing).

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