3 1/2 month old not sleeping after 5 am.

[Wizzska]

Our little boy is not settling after 5 am. We've been trying different routines, this past week the Gina Ford one, also tried EASY from the Baby Whisperer book. I'd give you a break down of our day but we've tried so many things its all gone tits up.

His nights are usually, bath 6.00pm, then feed, he goes down 7.00pm (I really struggle to keep him awake this late), dream feed 10.30 ish. Then he wakes 2 - 2.30 am, feeds and goes straight back to sleep, and then wakes 4.00 - 5 am ish and then won' settle again. He stays awake with DH until 7.am when I feed him again.

He has lately settled to sleep very easily in the day time for naps. As I've been trying to do GF lately, his daytime routine is loosely that he has an hour's sleep in the morning 9 - 10am, but he's knackered and I struggle to keep him awake until 9 am to fit with the book. Then he does 2 hours over lunchtime but would sleep longer if I let him. I also fit a quick 40 winks in for him at 4.30 ish.

I think the GF routine doesn't seem to give him enough food or sleep in the daytime. It is really hard to make him stretch between the recommended times for each.

I think if given his own way he'd sleep much more in the day, but I want him to sleep more at night. All the books say they should sleep no more than 3 hours in the day so they sleep through the night.

Am knackered so this post is very long and rambling, sorry. Any good mumsnet advice would be very welcome.

why don;t you abandon all imposed routines and see what he does naturally in terms of naps and night time sleeping and then build a routine around that. Much less exhausting.

FWIW, despite what the books say more daytime sleeping does not necessarily mean less night time sleeping.

If he's awake at 4 or 5 then he's bound to be tired again long before 9am.

IME it's much less frustrating and more successful if you watch the baby's natural pattern for a few days and the structure your day using that.

HTH.

Oh and sleep when he does PLEEEEEASE.

Thanks, I think you're right about abandoning the books. They were a desperate measure. I just hope that I can manage to change his natural rhythm from making his morning 5am.

hi wizzska!

dd is the opposite - won't sleep before about 11pm but then is sleepy after her 4/5am feed.

i reckon chuck the books away too and see what she does?

also, maybe more feeds during the day than GF says, then he might be fuller and therefore sleepier at night?

we're doing feeds every 2.5hrs during the day, 3 max, and cluster feeding in the evening - pretty tying but she goes straight through from 11ish to 5ish and the 5ish feed is quite quick and sleepy.

VERY far from expert advice tho! dd has just determined this pattern by herself, nothing we've done!

do you feed him in the dark at 5am? Treat it like a night feed and try to resettle him after the feed. Or feed him in bed with you and you might both drop off for another couple of horus. That's what i used to do with dd.

Definitely abandon the books and let him do what he wants for a bit. I'm sure the main effect of all those books is to make mums feel inadequate.

I cannot get my 3-mth-old to stay awake more than about 4 hours a day, and that includes feeding time. It is a bit wierd having a baby that sleeps all day though (my older two didn't).

FWIW, ds2 sleeps from 7pm, feed at 10, feed at 2:30, up at 5, feed at 7am... Sound familiar? When he wakes at 5, dh gets him up, takes his grobag off, and lies down in bed with ds2 tummy-down ish on him, sort of in the crook of his arm. Dh dozes, ds2 sleeps. Oh, and he has a dummy. Ds2, not dh.

AND -

...

It's just a phase.

This, too, will pass.

...

Honest.

Fruitful - do you have a camera in our bedroom? That is the exact pattern of our night times. I guess I've read too many books out of tired desperation and you are right, they do make you feel inadequate and like you're doing everything wrong.

At least DS seems happy. This morning after his 7.00 am feed he spent half an hour giggling with his dad. You forgive them everything when you hear their little laughs.

Wizzska & Fruitful - I could have written the EXACT same messages you have done. My DS is younger (10 wks) but seems to have fallen into the same pattern as yours. After his dreamfeed at 10.30, he will wake between 2-3 for a feed and then settles. He won't settle after the next feed at around 5.30am. My DH has also been taking him downstairs for a couple of hours just so I can sleep. Not looking forward to when my DH is working his night shifts at work.

This morning, however, he woke and 2am and I tried ignoring him (wasn't convinced he was hungry). I ignored his grumbling for 2 hours - he slept on and off - then properly woke for a feed at 4am. Brilliant! He was then downstairs from 5.30am til 7am, but it wasn't so bad because the first feed was later. Long may it continue - might have to try to ignore him again!!

At 5am I would take him into bed for that feed lying down - he may well then doze back to sleep with you.

I'm not feeding ds2 at 5, he isn't hungry, just no longer tired enough to sleep alone.

Babyisaac - ds2 is 14 weeks but was 7 wks prem so I'm guessing he is somewhere in between really!

Just a message to say abandon the books seeing as you were mentioning the godforsaken one! I too thought, lets read some books and attempt a routine

Had to throw it all out of the window as I thought best to let DD tell me what she wants having said that I do worry that she sleeps too much in the day and id I keep her awake too long then she gets soooo grumpy and i have hell to pay as punishment

By the way does anyone find that EVERY bloddy day is different as they do completley different things??? So frustrating

DD slept from 8-6am (only 9 1/2 wks old) this morn cant see THAT happening ever again sigh guess i'd better stock up on sleep now for tonight

Had a day without trying for a routine today, DS was happier than ever. He did end up loosely fitting in with the book ones anyway - just with less stress from me and more feeding for him.

Have come to the conclusion that he's not ready to sleep properly at night yet. I think we'll try co-sleeping after 5 am perhaps.

Hi Wizzska

My DS has the same sleep patterns - 7-2-5/6 then up for the day but needs a sleep around 8am.

My DD (2) gets up at 6.30 so we've just been starting the day then but I think I'll try Mear's suggestion of taking him into our bed for the 5am feed and see how we get on.

No advice but sympathies!

Am just going to have to put up with it for now. They all say the day (or night rather) will come. Soon please little one!