Does Instagram stress any other mums out - am I doing anything right ?!

[Helpmehelpmuself]

Iv got a 11 week old and it seems that every time I open Instagram I see at least 10 posts within 20 minutes that tell me I’m doing everything wrong and if I don’t make drastic changes asap my life is going to be hell.

My daughter has to be held to stay asleep for naps and if I do put her down majority of the time she will wake up within minutes and once a day she will stay asleep (if I’m lucky). To put her to sleep I will either walk about with her, giver her a dummy or rock her untill she’s drowsy and then stop. At night she’s fed to sleep and then sleeps in her cot and wakes for feeds and a nappy change. Is this good ? Is it normal… I don’t know the experts on Instagram have made me think it’s all bad 🥲.

Anyone else also just think wtf how are there so many people who claim to be experts about everything on this bloody app !!

Unfollow the people who make you feel bad.

You sound like you’re a very good mum with a very normal baby.

instagram is all smoke and mirrors. People only post the best parts of their life and advice isn’t always practical.

I am one of those parents who has always been strict with putting babies in their cot to sleep so that I have that as free time to do whatever is needed but it’s entirely down to preference. If your baby wants to be held to nap or you want to do it that way then there is absolutely no harm in that. Whatever method you choose has pros and cons - I miss the extra cuddles when they are asleep in their cot but I know I also benefit from some down time too.

the more you watch these kinds of videos on IG the more they will come up due to the algorithm so maybe try and replace them with something positive xxx

I have a 10 week old and do all of what you've just said, so I hope it's all normal! Social media sucks and algorithms mean we see 'appropriate' things for the age of our child and at the moment it all seems to be about sleep for me 🤦🏻‍♀️

Go off IG OP. Seriously, I've quit IG and FB months ago and so much happier. It sounds like you're doing a great job. I did 4th trimester thing, really just gave myself a free pass to sit and hold baby. Do what works for you and your DD.

Won’t help with your child’s sleep - but insta parents and generally arseholes. Oh look I’ve been a parent for 3 hours here’s my expert opinion on everything - no thanks hunz.

Babies like to be held, it's tough on you but it's normal! You're doing great, do not listen to instagram!!

Same!

I have a one and a half year old.

I saw a video of a 17 month old baby making avocado on toast by himself in his own functional miniature kitchen (running water, working fridge, full set of children knives and kitchen appliances) and his 3 year old brother making hot meals.

My son is nowhere near that. Content like that make me wonder if I'm doing something wrong

What you do is follow the mums who do what you do 🤣
but yeah. One minute it helps you and you feel less alone. The next you feel totally alone.

don’t believe it.

I’ve seen that! It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Also your 11 week old baby sounds incredibly normal

I also have an 11 week old who sounds similar to yours. I know it’s normal but Instagram accounts have me questioning myself every day. Particularly sleep consultant type ones

They are making your question yourself to try and sell you stuff. That’s all it is.

instagram drives me mad for this. It doesn’t get any better and I’m on #2 now. The other day I felt massively guilt tripped as I saw something about the amount of sugar in certain yoghurts. It’s so hard to escape because of the bloody algorithms though. Every so often I do a cull of accounts and try to make sure I like and am following none parent type accounts.

You’re doing a great job. Enjoy the cuddles.

Sleep ones are the absolute worst! Made me so miserable and I felt like such a failure.

I had two kids who were held for naps and cuddled and fed to sleep. With a dummy. Shock horror. Both slept through from 9pm to 5am from 9 weeks old. I was getting a good night's sleep so didn't risk changing a bloody thing!

Having had more than one child, I quickly realised kids are different and what works for one doesn't work for all. And for all I'm very glib about having two kids who slept through early, it was nothing other than sheer luck. I don't actually believe anything I did made a blind bit of difference!

Instagram accounts aimed at new mothers are the absolute worst. The only one that hasn’t made me feel like a terrible parent is SolidStarts. I agree with PP in that the sleep accounts are by far the worst. “Registered Sleep Consultant” my ass. WTF does that even mean? What professional body is registering all these f*cking incompetent people who can only regurgitate the same “advice”.

My personal favourite was the “sleep consultant” who made a big post about babies only sleeping in rooms between 18-20 degrees C (or whatever the ridiculously low temperature is). When a very anxious sounding mother asked what she should be doing because she couldn’t afford the AC required to keep the room at that temperature the consulted responded with “that’s not really my problem, I’m just telling you what the optimal conditions are”. What an absolute t**t.

OP, your baby sounds SO normal as do the things that you are doing! The best thing for your mental health will be to get off IG - or at the very least try to limit scrolling through the recommended posts!

Yep, they're all so bloody self righteous too, as if there is only one way of doing something and anything else is crap/neglectful. Which is rubbish as the right way is your own way, and everybody on the planet will have been brought up differently by people doing the best they could, moment by moment.

Why are you following these
People?

Delete it for a week and see if you miss it. I deleted FB & Instagram and found I was generally so much happier.

And they spend so much time posting, poor kids.

You're following the wrong people. I thought holding babies was all the rage now, they even have a new name "contact napping."
Definitely wasn't a thing when I was doing it (not even that long ago.) We cuddled through sleep, fed to sleep and coslept and it was great.

But also Instagram and social media can be so toxic so if it's making you feel and ditch it.

Thanks all, I think that it’s so easy to go down the insta rabbit hole and because you watch so many videos telling you everything your doing is basically wrong it’s so easy to question yourself and get . Think I’ll either delete the app or just stick to watching videos of corgis wiggling their bum.

thank you especially to all of you that shared your experiences and made me feel like I’m doing fine your all gems !!

No because I follow who or what I want, why on earth would I keep it going if it was stressing me, I don't parent by social media that is ridiculous