Gentle sleep training/self settling/aversion to cot

[ShutterHaze]

Has anyone found a gentle method that would help a 10 month old self-settle (currently rocked to sleep) other than PUPD or gradual retreat? She currently cries whenever put in her cot awake. I’d like to find a way for her to not cry in her cot when put down.

Does it have to be a cot? I am part way through an excruciatingly long sleep training attempt because I set myself the rule that i would soothe as soon as my boy cried or seemed unhappy. I got stuck at shhh pat in the cot because he couldn't tolerate having no contact with me. I've given up the cot for now and been able to move on to him falling asleep beside me on the bed with no contact. I just lie there and pretend to be asleep. Ive inched to the edge of the bed but cant get any further. After Christmas my plan is to baby proof and put a floor bed in his nursery then I can gently inch my way towards the door. Honestly part of me wishes I'd just put up with a few more tears as this is taking forever. I'm talking 6 months to get this far from feeding to sleep.

@CasaMundi I remember your previous post and we were in a very similar boat at that time if I remember correctly. I would definitely recommend a floor bed. We changed to a floor bed at just before 12 months. The first couple of nights we co slept from the first wake up like usual. After that i spent a few nights sleeping on her floor after the first wake. She slept through the night a few days later.
Sleep isn't reliable here still - especially when ill or teething - but I'd say 50 percent of the time she sleeps through the night.

OP I would also recommend a floor bed. My baby woke hourly or 2 hourly from 4 months to 10 months, then 2 to 4 times a night from 10- 12 months. It could be coincidence but I moved to a floor bed a week before her first birthday and stopped co sleeping. No crying involved but I did encourage her to fall asleep on the bed with my arms over her / around her rather than in my arms so I could quietly creep away.

@Purple89 so glad you are getting so much better sleep! Sorry to derail your thread OP but can I ask what mattress you went for for the floorbed? Our nursery is a box room so I won't be able to fit a double. Also did you get radiator covers? If so where did you get them? My baby is almost one now. He does link one or two cycles most nights but I am still utterly exhausted and looking down the barrel of return to work in January

The floor bed is a helpful suggestion - thank you both!

Really hope things improve for you both soon it's so hard. My DD has a bad cold so didn't sleep through last night but even so I only went in once. It could be a coincidence and she was just ready but it really did happen within a week of getting the floor bed so seems a strong coincidence.

Our DD's room is a box room too so we bought a toddler mattress, this one

amzn.eu/d/8rbcjj0

Also these are our radiator covers

amzn.eu/d/7LGkKxS

We spent quite a bit of money on a frame, baby proofing the room and then buckled in to see if it worked. We felt we had nothing to lose at this point (except yet more money trying to fix sleep lol) as we were so tired.

As I say the first few nights I went into her room to resettle and at first cuddled in my arms then changed to laying her down awake but with me draped around her patting and cuddling. Now i leave whilst she is still awake unless she cries and then I go back in and cuddle. Didn't once leave her to cry as I had decided I just couldn't hack it (no judgement on others I just don't think I was strong enough).

Sorry just realised I was a bit unclear- this is more precise about what I did

First few nights- cuddled to sleep then coslept in my bed from first wake up
Next few nights- cuddled till nearly asleep then stayed patting and cuddling whilst she was laid next to me (me over on the floor by the side of her leaning over) then did the same in the night on wake ups
Then she slept through.
Now I've gradually reduced how long I stay in the room after I've laid her down. I always cuddle for a couple of mins then lay down and she rolls around a bit getting comfy while I watch her on the monitor downstairs.

@Purple89 This is incredibly helpful to read - thank you!

I work with kids as a nanny/childminder. I've always used shush pat mixed with pick up put down.

Rock almost to sleep then put baby down and still hold them. Once this works progress to put baby down with your hand on them so they still feel you. Then sit next to them shushing and patting if they are a bit upset. Never let them fully cry pick them up if they are that distressed.

You need skinny arms or the side off the cot to use this method or your back is going to hurt. Floor bed is a brilliant idea.

With my own kids I gave their last bottle to them in bed to fall asleep with as it cuts the process of sleep training to a much shorter time. However it's not recommended you do this as bad for their teeth

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