Transition 6mo to own bed/ stop feeding to sleep

[ru53]

I never planned on Co-sleeping or feeding to sleep but it happened for a number of reasons (one of which she struggled to gain weight early on & I was determined to get breastfeeding to work, so was feeding her at any and every opportunity). Until now it’s been great as she falls asleep so easily, wakes once or twice in the night but resettles within minutes and we all get enough sleep just about.

However, now she’s 6 months she’s starting to really roll about and nearly crawl and I’m really worried she will fall out of the bed (had a couple near misses already). How on earth do I transition from where we are to getting her sleeping on her own in a cot? Without cry it out sleep training? I know it can be effective I just know I’m too soft and I won’t be able to do it consistently enough for it to work. Or do I just forget a cot and switch to feeding her to sleep on a floor bed? I don’t really want to be feeding her to sleep forever though. Any suggestions or advice very very welcome!

(Also, we’ve very kindly been gifted a second hand cot bed by a neighbour which my DH is very keen to try but I genuinely don’t know how to even start getting her to sleep in it. We haven’t put it up yet and not sure if it’s even worth trying! )

I don't know the answer but just wanted to reassure you that you won't be doing it forever. I felt like it was forever with one of mine and then he just went cold turkey and stopped.

Probably not much comfort but this too will pass.

Just feed to sleep then put her in the cot when she's asleep. Don't try to do both changes at once

Does she have set bed/nap times? I would feed as normal and either transfer straight to cot or hold and rock (we paced the bedroom) until asleep then carefully place down. We had a chair in the bedroom so I could feed. The room was all set up, curtains closed, white noise if required.

Thanks for the advice, @PigeonPigPie I will try that and see how it goes. She seems to have a 6th sense at the moment for when I sneak out of bed. And thanks @Iwasafool that is reassuring!

@MooQuackNeigh she does have pretty set nap times, approx 9am, 12am & 4pm then bed about 7-7:30

Can you adapt the cot so it goes next to your bed and you can pull her across to you for feeds, but push her back over for sleep?
I'd rather stay in bed than have to get up and you and her be fully awake for night feeds.

We transitioned to all sleeping on mattresses next to each other on the floor for a while, but we had a room that was big enough to accomodate a KS double and two singles!

Possibly, we did have a next to me when she was tiny but she would just sleep sooo much better in the bed I just stopped using it which I’m now kind of regretting!

Feeding to sleep is completely biologically normal. I agree with PP to only do one big change at a time.

@BurbageBrook yes, you’re right & I do need to remember that. I think I feel torn between going the totally physiological route & modern expectations. It’s hard sometimes when people ask and everyone gives you a bit of a raised eyebrow or sympathetic look when I say she’s still in bed with us and feeding to sleep etc. The feeding to sleep actually isn’t an issue for me as it works so well. But I don’t want it to go on forever and especially when I’m back at work it would be nice if DH could do a bit more overnight stuff. She does take a bottle but only the boob gets her to sleep.

We were unexpected bed sharers too, OP.

My son's sleep was terrible but we sorted it out eventually. I think he was about 15 months old when he started sleeping through the night and 18 months old when it got really consistent.

We started putting him to sleep in his cot at least for the first part of the night. He would then typically wake up at around midnight and we would bring him in with us. One night he just slept through. After that we got more disciplined about soothing him back to sleep and then putting him back in his cot after night wakes until gradually he was spending the whole night in his cot more often than not and eventually it became all night every night.

But by then I was pregnant again. My second child is 11 months old and we have just embraced cosleeping. Right now we are at the stage of starting the night in her cot and we're planning to build up to it being all night.

I agree with working on getting her to sleep in her cot before tackling the feeding to sleep.

Floor bed was a game changer for us, doesn't need to be anything fancy, slats and mattress work well. Just feed to sleep and roll away. Then there's always the opportunity with a sleep regression/illness to bed share again more comfortably.

Feeding to sleep is very very normal! HappyCosleeper is a great Instagram for floor bed advice.

Thanks everyone! I have tonight rolled away in our main bed as an experiment (I’ve put her right in the middle of the king size bed with the monitor on), she slept for an hour, fed her back to sleep, slept another hour & a half.. will have to just stick with it I think. In fairness she used to wake up within 10mins if I wasn’t right next to her so it is progress!

Similar position here, co sleeping is just what gets us all the most sleep so I'm not going to fight it 😂 we also start the night in her own cot after being fed to sleep. There is absolutely not a cat's chance in hell I could put her in there for a nap so I was surprised how easy it is to put her down to be honest. We re settle her in there with rocking if she wakes before we go to bed, this has been a great thing to build up because DP can do this as well now! If she wakes when we are in bed she comes through. Some nights I have the resolve to re settle once more, some I don't 😅 we also have a bed guard for when she is in with us. I have stuffed the gap between the bed and it (as per safe sleep 7 advice - pack the cracks) to make is safe 😊

Perhaps start with naps in her cot so she gets used to the environment, I’m sure I read that as a tip somewhere